A Padawan's Path to Greatness
by FelesMagica
Summary: Sometimes going against a simple order can cause one so many troubles, it could be more than one ever bargained for. Obi-Wan has to find out the hard way.
1. Chapter 1

**A Padawan's Path To Greatness**

**Author:** FelesMagica

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Star Wars nor any of the characters of this universe. Characters, names and planets as well as everything else belong to George Lucas. I merely own my OCs as well as my plot.

**Summary: ** Sometimes going against a simple order can cause one so many troubles, it could be more than one ever bargained for. Obi-Wan has to find out the hard way.

**Genre: ** Romance / Drama

**Warnings:** This story contains original characters. Furthermore it doesn't follow George Lucas' plotline. If you don't like that, then please don't read it.

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><p><strong>1. Chapter<strong>

The space sure was a beautiful thing. Complete blackness everywhere, only few isolated, small, bright white spots, drawn to long, thin lines by the speed were seen through the huge windows of the ship. Travelling through the space caused different reactions, but initially it was always the same.

One felt small. The giant dimensions, the sheer endlessness was overwhelming. As was the thought of travelling in hyperdrive for several days and still no end to the journey. There were places, where never once before someone had travelled to, as there were still planets no one has ever set a foot upon. Those thoughts made one feel small and unimportant. It made you question your role in the galaxy and your own self-perception.

It was a unique feeling, overwhelming, and life-changing. It was…

'Boring.' A long suffering sigh echoed through the room. 'Force, this is boring.'

Obi-Wan sat in one of the more or less comfortable chairs directly in front of the window, his elbows resting on his knees and his chin placed on his hands. His blue eyes stared unseeingly right through the window, losing themselves somewhere in the mass of black.

A light frown appeared on the young man's face and his eyes narrowed, as he couldn't suppress anymore the yawn that threatened to escape.

'How could this week change from perfect to horrendous in such a short time?'

Obi-Wan and his Master had just returned the day before from a very successful mission when they were both summoned before the Council. Grudgingly and with a well-deserved feeling of foreboding did they interrupt their relaxing time and went to the Council's meeting room.

With a step behind his Master as was expected of him, Obi-Wan entered the room and bowed deeply. He tried to stay focused, but while the Council members and his Master exchanged normal pleasantries and required more exact information on their already absolved mission, Obi-Wan's mind started to drift away.

He was just contemplating what they would have to eat this evening, when the word 'mission' brought him back to the real world. With a slow blink that hardly covered his momentary confusion, Obi-Wan tried to understand what was going on. From what he had figured out, they were obviously to be send to a rather relaxing, though very time consuming diplomatic mission on a peaceful planet.

Obi-Wan couldn't help the little jump his heart made at that thought.

Though they had just returned, Obi-Wan was still eager to leave for another mission. Well, to be rather honest, Obi-Wan was always eager to leave for missions. The Temple may be his home in any way possible, but the thrill of getting to know new worlds and people, solving conflicts and helping those who were in need of help was what truly made his heart flutter with excitement.

And a diplomatic mission to a peaceful planet would be the icing on an already very sugary chocolate cake.

But to his utmost horror and mortification the Council only addressed his Master. At first he thought they solely addressed Master Jinn as he would be the one leading the mission, but with each passing sentence, one thing became clearer and clearer.

Obi-Wan wasn't supposed to accompany his Master.

It was a painful slap directly into his face. His breath hitched and with all power he possessed was he barely able to suppress the shocked widening of his eyes. Never once before had his Master been sent on a mission alone. And true to his bad feeling the Council told his Master to pack his things and leave immediately, while Obi-Wan was ordered to remain in the meeting room.

With a heavily pounding heart Obi-Wan was standing there, his eyes fixed somewhere to the floor between him and the Masters, his hands unconsciously fidgeting with the hem of his robes. His mind was a mess. Would he be punished? Had he fucked up in some way he hadn't realized before? Wasn't he good enough to accompany his Master anymore?

As if Master Yoda had heard his thoughts, well, he probably had, the diminutive, green Master smiled reassuringly at him. In his own way of speaking, the diminutive Master told him that Qui-Gon's mission was an easy one and that he, Obi-Wan, was needed for another mission.

Pride had swelled up in his chest. With a soft smile, Obi-Wan had thanked the Council and had left to the hangar. His bag was always packed and was already there. On his way there, Obi-Wan couldn't help the small bounce in his steps and the content smile finding its way on his lips.

It was an honour. To be selected for a single mission while still being a Padawan was the greatest honour that could be bestowed. Now he was able to prove to them his worthiness, his ability to take care of himself and think ahead, to improvise and plan on his own. If he succeeded, this would bring him a good step forward to being knighted in the future.

It wasn't only an honour, it was a great possibility, his once-in-a-life-time chance, an enormous privilege. It was…

'A joke.'

With a dry, humourless chuckle, Obi-Wan remembered how shocked he had been to realize what the `important mission' truly included. His cheeks had flushed a bright pink and his eyes widened in mortification. Instead of a dangerous and interesting mission, one he could boost his ego and self-esteem with, this mission was a shame. And though he knew that he shouldn't be angry and shouldn't want to thirst for acknowledgement outside his own mind, he felt cheated.

He was to guard a transport ship.

He was to stay alone on a ship for three days on his way to Alderaan, then wait there to accept the load and then return home to Coruscant after another three days flight.

As the ship left the hangar and launched into hyperdrive, Obi-Wan was left alone to ponder his situation. While the ship flew without his help, Obi-Wan sat in one the chairs, a mug of steaming hot tea in his hands. He was irritated. No, scratch that, he was beyond irritated.

He felt deceived. Here he was, eighteen years old, already an adult, six years of intensive Padawan training with a stern and perfectionist Master, twelve years of strenuous and intense training with different powerful and skilled Knights and Masters, was that the best the Council could do, to send him on an escort mission?

'Hopefully none of my friends find out. Force, this would be embarrassing!'

The three-day trip to Alderaan, Obi-Wan was miffed. There was nothing to do on this forsaken ship. No one to talk to, no one to spend time with. All he was left to do was meditate and work on his training. Things he was well able to do at the Temple, with the little difference that there at least he had people he could spent with.

By the time the ship had reached its destination, Obi-Wan was bored out of his mind. With each passing hour, his humiliation, his frustration and his irritation increased. Meditating wasn't helping as every time he let his mind go at ease, it would revolve around his mission, the way the Council obviously underestimated him and how he was stuck on the ship for another round of excruciatingly boring days.

The few moments he had spent on Alderaan had been a nice change, but sadly were over much too soon. A horde of exhilarated scientists fussing over a black painted, floating stasis-capsule greeted him. Before he was even able to register how truly strange this picture had been, the scientists invaded the open ship and started on installing the load safely.

While the horde of scientists was desperately trying to secure the load's safety, an elderly, greying scientist had made his way over to Obi-Wan, a thick pile of datapads in his hands. Those were thrust rather ruthlessly into Obi-Wan's unexpected arms. With a stern gaze fixed onto him, the scientist explained to Obi-Wan what he was supposed to do: deliver those datapads to the Council, make sure the stasis-capsule was save, keep the temperature at a moderate rate and make sure that no sound and not too much light might disturb the load.

Without so much as a good farewell wish and a wave of his hand, the scientist called for his team and ushered them back out of the ship. With another stern and reprimanding gaze directed at him, Obi-Wan walked back into the ship and started the motors. Soon he was back in the orbit and the autopilot was driving him and his precious load back home in hyperdrive.

As soon as Obi-Wan had time to really realize what had just happened, his bad mood only intensified.

Like a small, misbehaving, obstreperous child.

The leading scientist had treated him like a small, misbehaving, obstreperous child. With this stern gaze, the patronizing tone and the way he explained things to him as if he were some blockhead five-year-old, not knowing how to follow orders.

It brought his irritation to new heights. First, his Master goes off alone on a nice, interesting mission and doesn't think it necessary to try and fight for Obi-Wan to accompany him. Then, there was the Council and this dim-witted mission they decided to send him on. The mission itself, the loneliness, the stupidity of this action and finally this leading scientist who had treated him so disrespectfully.

But all irritation and bits of anger vanished as he was still sitting there, staring out into the black loneliness of the space. For the last hours the autopilot had been flying the ship and Obi-Wan's boredom had reached new heights. With nothing else to do and several hours left for them to arrive at Coruscant, Obi-Wan decided he would take a nap.

Force knew when the last time was that he slept peacefully.

With his joints cracking, Obi-Wan stood up from his seat and slowly moved to his chamber. It wasn't much, just a small, slightly uncomfortable bed with a small night stand and an ugly lamp in an otherwise completely bare room. And though it wasn't much, the bed would clearly do its purpose.

Stifling a yawn, Obi-Wan laid down onto the small bed and covered himself with a thin blanket. It was cold in the ship but the blanket was all he got and would have to do. With a last try to ease his mind and calm his emotions, Obi-Wan drifted into a light, dreamless sleep.

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><p>With a start, blue eyes suddenly flew wide open.<p>

Slowly blinking, the blue eyes darted uncomprehendingly around the blackness of the room. A strange feeling made itself known in Obi-Wan's chest, his heart was still beating erratically and sweat was starting to form on his palms. Something must have woken him up.

But what had it been?

As the disorientation slowly ebbed away, Obi-Wan's discomfort grew. For him to wake up in the middle of the night with palpitations and sweat pouring down his forehead and palms truly was a strange and rare thing. Something must have scared him enough to wake him up. But as much as he was searching the room, he couldn't find the source of his discomfort.

With low sigh and a disbelieving shake of his head, Obi-Wan let things be and decided to go back to sleep. He still had several hours left before he would arrive at Coruscant and he could use them in an efficient way. The blanket was wrapped around his lightly shivering body, while Obi-Wan tried to find a comfortable position.

He was just about to lay his head on the small pillow, when a horrifying, strangled scream reached him.

A startled gasp escaped his lips and immediately Obi-Wan jumped from his bed. Without any further conscious thought Obi-Wan reached for his lightsabre and lighted it. The soft, bright blue light of the blade illuminated the small room scarcely, creating weird and dangerous looking shadows on the plain walls.

Sweat started to form on his forehead and palms. With his breath quickening and his heartbeat pounding strongly in his chest, Obi-Wan gulped heavily and tried to centre himself. It wouldn't do him any good if he ran out of his chamber now, mind and body troubled, only to land himself in trouble.

When he finally found his centre and his inner calm, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and took another, reassuring long breath. Tentatively he reached for the Force and started to explore his surroundings. He could feel the Force surround him, pulse in everything around him. But although it was there and reassured him, Obi-Wan felt alone. He was missing the bright light and the lovely pulsing that indicated something living was here. The Force around him was lifeless, only there but not moving.

He was about to retreat his grasp on the Force and go back to bed, when suddenly, nearly out of his reach, he felt a small pulsation.

Immediately Obi-Wan stopped. Carefully, as not to disturb whatever he had felt mere moments before, Obi-Wan centred himself again and reached for the Force. A soft gasp escaped his lips and his eyes widened in surprise at what he found.

There was a living being on board and it was distressed.

Frantically Obi-Wan shook his head, as if this would help him sort through the mess that was his mind. It couldn't be, his mind all but screamed at him, he had been alone on this ship. There was no one there besides him. There couldn't be any living, pulsating Force signature be here. It was impossible.

But it was there, his mind sobered. It was there, living and highly distraught. Now the only question was, where was it?

Obi-Wan took a long, deep breath and raised his lightsabre. With his lightsabre held in a defensive position, Obi-Wan left his quarters and started to slowly proceed through the former empty ship. The night light failed to completely illuminate the corridor, throwing strange, dark grey shadows against the bluish lit walls.

Carefully, as not to alert the possible intruder, Obi-Wan crept from door to door, paused in front of it and then reached for the Force to find out whether the slightly pulsating signal of the life-form was inside the room or not. It took him a few moments to find it. Obi-Wan found himself tense with expectation and his heart filled with distinct worry.

The common room, just like the kitchen, the small library and the cockpit were empty and even void of a single trace of the life-form. This surprised Obi-Wan a little. His eyebrows wrinkled together in a deep frown. That meant the life-form had entered the ship through the ramp and was now currently in the only room he hadn't checked so far.

The cargo compartment.

Heaving a distraught sigh, Obi-Wan closed his eyes briefly and then, with wobbling knees, crept over to the huge door leading to the cargo department. For a short moment, Obi-Wan stopped in his tracks. Uncertainty was flooding through him. Was his curiosity worth it? What, if whatever waited for him on the other side of the door was dangerous and out for his? Couldn't he just lay back in his bed and wait for the other Jedi at Coruscant to solve this mystery?

'No!'

He had felt cheated for getting assigned this easy mission. Now that things got interesting, was he really going to complain about it and give up, asking for help? No, he wouldn't. He would demonstrate why it had been the right decision to send him. He was a well-trained Padawan. Whatever there was on the other side waiting for him, it was no match for him.

For the last time he checked with the Force. His shoulders and face tensed with concentration. As impossible as it may seem, behind the door was something living. He couldn't help it, he had to find out.

With stronger than necessary push, partly to overcome his own hesitancy, partly to overcome his irrational fear, Obi-Wan palmed the door open and sneaked into the room.

It was dark in there, even darker than in the other rooms. Only a single lamp was illuminating the huge room scarcely. In the nearly complete darkness, the strangled moans and weak cries suddenly sounded more forceful as they assaulted his ears. Obi-Wan couldn't help but flinch. They sounded so pitiful and scared. But worst of all, they were full of pain.

Obi-Wan's heart was torn into pieces at the mere thought of what the being had to suffer through to make such noises. His posture tensed and his shoulders were drawn back in what seemed to be a definite inner decision. He was going to find out what was wrong and would hopefully be able to solve it.

Or at least, he would try to.

Slowly, Obi-Wan followed the distraught noises. It was difficult, as it was very dark and he couldn't see where he was going, but he didn't need to see, the Force was leading him. Through the different capsules, boxes and cases he was lead to the special one, the one the horde of scientists had installed few days before.

It was neatly connected with the floor, thick, metallic screws and hinges fixed the stasis-capsule to the floatable base. The cover looked heavy, but clearly was easy to be push back. But all this didn't matter to Obi-Wan. What mattered, was the fact that the nearer he came to the capsule, the louder and clearer the sounds became.

The need to swallow dryly was suddenly unbearable. His hands trembled and his heart began to flutter. Only mere inches away and here he was, struggling with his nerves. He could feel his palms becoming sweaty. Carefully he firmed his hold on his lightsabre. Whatever it was, he was going to face, he was better prepared than sorry afterwards.

He heaved a low sigh. Well, there went nothing.

Obi-Wan closed shortly his blue eyes and took a long, shaking breath. His hands stroked softly over the smooth, cold surface. It was so cold, it made his hands shiver and the small hairs on his back stand up. Idly, Obi-Wan wondered, whether the surface was so cold, because the inside was so warm? Only one way to find out.

With a strong, quick jerk Obi-Wan pushed the cover of the coffin like capsule open.

A strangled gasp echoed through the otherwise completely empty and silent, dark room as Obi-Wan gazed into the capsule with wide open, unbelieving eyes.

Inside the stasis-capsule laid a young woman.

Obi-Wan's breath hitched. He couldn't tear his still wide open eyes from the sight in front of him. The young human woman was writhing and whimpering, her head tossing from side to side, her eyes moving rapidly behind her closed eyelids. Now and then small, painful yelps and moans escaped her lips. She obviously was in pain.

Her yelps sounded like she was in so much pain, it literally broke his heart. Immediately his eyes scanned her body, looking for any possible sign that she was hurt. But even with his schooled eyes he couldn't find a single hint. There was no blood, no visible wound, just nothing. Aside from a fine sheet of sweat there was nothing on her skin.

But only because there was no visible wound, it didn't necessary mean that she was healthy. 'Internal wounds!', suddenly shot through Obi-Wan's mind. 'She could have been poisoned or suffer from internal bleeding!'

There was only one way to make sure she was okay. With all the strength he could muster, Obi-Wan reached for the Force and concentrated on the young woman in front of him. The few moments it took for him to come up with a diagnosis stretched to excruciatingly long ones. But his impatience was immediately forgotten when he finished his scan.

Nothing was wrong with her.

She wasn't poisoned, suffered no internal bleeding or damage and her organs were working flawlessly. There was no blood on her, no wounds, not even a single scratch. To make it short, she was perfectly healthy. Healthy to a point where one could have guessed she hadn't been allowed to leave her room for a longer period of time to ensure this state.

'But she is in pain.', Obi-Wan thought in confusion. Something must be wrong, but whatever it was, he couldn't help her.

As his gaze lingered on her, Obi-Wan couldn't help but marvel at her appearance. She had light blond, silvery shining, long hair that reached to her hips and fanned under her back and shoulders. Her skin was inhumanly pale, glowing in a slightly alabaster-like tone. The white tunic and formfitting trousers she was wearing only added to her paleness. With the tunic, the trousers and the large belt she could have passed for a Jedi.

This thought made him wonder.

Was she a Jedi? Was that the reason why he was ordered to bring her back to Coruscant?

He couldn't help his gaze wandering from her hips, over her flat abdomen, over her breasts to her face. The need to swallow became unbearable. Her face was really beautiful, unearthly beautiful even. She had a short, cute nose, full, round lips and long, dark lashes. Her light blond eyebrows twitched restlessly.

A fine layer of sweet appeared on her forehead, slowly increasing by the time that seemed to run by. Her lovely lips started to tremble, as if she was desperately trying to prevent a scream for leaving her throat. Her forehead was frowning in pain and her eyebrows were drawn together in a painful crinkle.

Her chest heaved and sunk in erratic, laboured breaths. Intermittent breaths echoed lowly through the room. Her fragile, delicate frame shook badly, light shivers running down her arms and legs. She looked pitiful, as if she was freezing or fearing for her life. The sight together with those painful, choked whimpers and moans nearly caused Obi-Wan's heart to bleed.

Slowly Obi-Wan extended his hand and brought it near her face. She looked so distressed, so distraught. He just couldn't help himself, he wanted to touch her, sooth her pain and problems away. She looked so fragile. All he wanted to do, was to help her.

His hand was mere inches away from her cheek, when suddenly a loud, strangled gasp escaped her lips and her eyes flew wide open.

With a startled gasp, Obi-Wan snatched his hand back and stumbled backwards. His breath quickened immensely and his heart started to beat erratically. All his training couldn't help him stop shaking from shock and surprise.

And though his body suffered from the after-effects of his shock and still shook badly, his mind was suddenly and strangely at ease. It felt as if his mind was dissociated from his body. He felt like floating, wavering in the air, peaceful and at ease. Perhaps it had something to do with those eyes which held his captive.

Big, metallic-blue, gleaming eyes held his captive. They were huge, it was all Obi-Wan's troubled mind could think about. Too huge for a mere human. Their colour, their form, their size, it didn't look human. They looked alien.

And they were mesmerizing.

These eyes looked at him without blinking, without wavering, without changing even for a moment. The gaze was so intense, Obi-Wan could it feel in his soul. Something snapped inside of him, something changed, but for the life of him, Obi-Wan couldn't interrupt the connection.

Time seemed to stretch by endlessly as Obi-Wan and the nameless young woman stared into each other's eyes.

And then, as suddenly as it had begun, it ended. Without any warning her eyes rolled silently up into her head, then she sagged together in a boneless heap. Her head had rolled slightly to one side, long strands of her silvery blond hair covered half of her face and her arms were resting messily on her thighs and abdomen.

As her chest rose and sunk slowly and evenly, her eyes closed, her lips drawn into a peaceful and content half smile, Obi-Wan couldn't help but wonder whether he hadn't imagined all of that ever happening. The way she was laying there, sleeping peacefully and contentedly, Obi-Wan couldn't manage to remember in how much pain and distress she had been mere moments ago.

Only one thing was still prominent in his mind. Her eyes, those big, blue, beautiful eyes.

Suddenly a wave of dizziness hit him, causing the sight in front of him to blur and him to sway. A nasty, biting pressure built at his temples, quickly starting to grow in its strength. The throbbing pain started to spread and mere moments later Obi-Wan suffered from a full grown migraine.

He wanted to make a step forward, but instead of standing steadily on his feet, Obi-Wan swayed dangerously to the side. Only now did he realize the toll all this stress and shock had taken on his body. He felt weak, his head hurt and he felt like he was about to throw up.

He would be happy if he reached his quarters without any further interruption.

With careful movements as not to disturb the now fitfully sleeping, young woman, Obi-Wan reached for the cover and closed the stasis-capsule. He felt bad for locking her up into this coffin-like, enclosed capsule. But what else could he do? He wasn't even supposed to look inside of it, much less free her from her prison and place her onto a normal bed. No, until they reached Coruscant the young woman would have to sleep inside the stasis-capsule. As hard as it may be.

He didn't remember how he managed to reach his quarters, much less his bed. Nor did he know when he had switched off his lightsabre. His memory was a sole fuzzy and blurry stream of colours and pain. His head was throbbing and pounding so much, he was sure it was going to kill him. Every gulp he took burned like fire and his body felt like a horde of bathas had run him over. With a painful moan on his lips, Obi-Wan reached for the blanket and snuggled into the mattress. He could already feel sleep approaching him, claiming him in mere moments.

When his head rested on the pillow, firmly pressed into its feathers, his eyes closed automatically. A soft sigh escaped his lips. In a few hours they would reach Coruscant and then everything would be fine. But for now, now he would just sleep.

His mind was already half-gone, when a last, prominent thought crossed his sleepy mind.

'What the Force had happened?'


	2. Chapter 2

**2. Chapter**

During sunset the skyline of Coruscant looked even more imposing than normally. Unbelievably high skyscrapers, illuminated by weak, reddish light of the setting sun were painted in a dark crimson tone. It looked as if the sky was on fire and the high buildings, constructed to stay for eternity, were the only things that could withstand its power. It was a sight to remember but this evening, one young Padawan spared it no single thought.

'Finally.'

A low sigh echoed through the room. Obi-Wan, his hands firmly on the controls, couldn't help but close his eyes briefly. His headache had receded slightly after his few hour nap, but still his head hurt a lot. There was this uncomfortable pressure at his temples and a dizzy, fuzzy feeling inside his mind that he couldn't really place.

A wave of uncertainty and slight fear washed over him. Never once before had he had a fainting. Even during the worst times he had always been able to stay conscious. For him to just collapse was rather strange and troubling. Especially as he hadn't done anything strenuous at all. Perhaps he should consult a medic. Who knew what kind of bug he might have caught during one of his missions.

'But first of all, I will go sleep.'

He stifled a yawn and looked at the monitor expectantly. Just a few moments of waiting and he would know the coordinates and the landing area where he was supposed to land. A surprised frown found its way to his forehead, only to be immediately replaced by a look of suspicion.

They had reserved landing area number one for him.

That itself was something to be suspicious about. Landing area number one was usually reserved for guests of honour, important politicians and senators, government officials and representatives. It was the nearest landing area to the Temple, situated directly in front of the main road leading to the Temple's entrance gate.

Never once before had Obi-Wan been allowed to land there. Like all the other Jedi he had to land at further away and smaller landing areas. For him to be ordered to land at number one, was really a once in a lifetime opportunity.

'But surely it's not because of me.'

That strange, but not bitter thought lingered in his mind. He knew that would he have been in a better condition, he would be quite miffed about that thought. But as he was so dead tired and his body was aching all over, he didn't have the strength to be angry.

That was why the analytical part of his mind took over. Thinking analytically was a lot easier. It was done without the use of emotions. Emotions were just too exhausting and strenuous to bear at the moment.

'They did it for the girl.'

The girl who was currently laying in the dark stasis-capsule. He still couldn't believe it. After he had woken up, Obi-Wan immediately had gone to the cargo compartment and opened the capsule. There she was, still sleeping peacefully. Obi-Wan just couldn't believe it. It was real, she was there. It hadn't just been a feverish dream or a figment of his imagination.

With a low sigh, Obi-Wan shook his head violently. He was about to land the ship, he could already see the landing area. The pressure at his temples and the pain all over his body were distracting enough. He didn't need a mass of different thoughts and possibilities about who this young woman might be running wild through his head.

Concentrating on the landing was difficult. His head was pounding painfully and there was a strange pressure on his ears, making him feel as if he was deep under the water. But even worse was his eyesight. Sometimes his vision would just get blurry and no blinking and narrowing his eyes was making it better.

'That sucks.'

When the ship connected with the floor with a resounding thud, Obi-Wan heaved a sigh of gratitude. Over, the mission was finally over. Now he only needed to get out of here, present the girl, well, no, 'the charge' to whoever was present and then finally he would be allowed to rest. A small smile found its way to his lips at this thought. Yes, rest would be fine.

He walked slowly down the ramp and waited for his eyes to adjust to the sudden bright light. When he blinked again to get rid of the last blurry spot, he stopped dead in his tracks and stared in surprise at the scene ahead of him.

Instead of the normal Jedi Knight on duty, a small gathering of high ranked Council members waited to greet him. There were Masters Windu, Yoda and Mundi, as well as Healer Masters Gallia, Allie, Unduli and Ti. Obi-Wan was beyond startled. There were seven Masters, five of them even members of the Council waiting for his charge.

Immediately Obi-Wan bowed to them deeply. He knew they were here for the girl. They just had to. Why else would there be need for such a big gathering?

'She really must be someone special. Or just important?'

"Greetings, Padawan Kenobi. Did you have an undisturbed flight?"

The young Padawan straightened up and tried to mask his uneasiness and insecurities away. With a short nod, Obi-Wan decided to go for a modified version of his adventure. He had, after all, been forbidden to enter the cargo compartment.

"Greetings, Masters. There were no disturbances during the flight. The charge is save and well, I have been told. Scientist Alcatran also wished for me to give those holopads to you."

He reached inside his cloak and fetched the pile of holopads. With his head bowed lightly, Obi-Wan extended his arm and waited for Master Windu to take them.

"Thank you, Padawan Kenobi. Please, send your complete mission report to the Council later. You are dismissed."

Obi-Wan sighed and nodded his understanding. Finally. With swift, measured strides Obi-Wan passed by the assembled Masters and entered the Temple. He didn't really see where he was going to. His mind was busy, trying to force his legs to get him to his quarters as soon as possible.

Later, once he was feeling better, he would think about the strange events, the Masters, the girl and the mission itself. But right now this didn't matter.

Only sleep was what counted.

* * *

><p>Blue eyes fluttered open, looking around the room groggily.<p>

They closed briefly, before they nearly flew open again immediately. A low, suffering groan of pain echoed through the room and the sound of something heavy falling down onto the soft, fluffy pillow followed it, when Obi-Wan's head hit his pillow.

Obi-Wan couldn't believe it. It was the third time in a row that he woke up suddenly, feeling disorientated and scared. His heart was racing, making him feel like it was about to jump out of his chest and the pain at his temples was maddening. A fine layer of sweat covered his body, making him shiver at the rather cool air of his chambers.

Slowly Obi-Wan sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. The muscles in his back were tense and stiff and ached with each movement he made. He could feel some jolts right over his shoulder blades, making it difficult for him to move his arms and back. He needed a shower. Perhaps the warmth of the water would make them go away.

But not now, later.

Something had woken him up, that was for sure. With his hand over his mouth, Obi-Wan tried to stifle a yawn. He'd better get up and make sure what it was. If it had been one of the Masters ringing at their quarter's door, they would be most displeased with him should he ignore their call.

Carefully he swung his legs over the rim of his bed and got up. Immediately his vision got blurry and the pressure on his ears increased painfully. He could hear his heartbeat resonating in his head, throbbing and pounding, making it difficult for him to think clearly.

'Great. I'm coming down with something. My Master will be pleased.' he thought sarcastically.

Obi-Wan had already spent so much time in the healers ward, the medics had started to tease him that they had given him his personal bed in his very own room a long time ago. Obi-Wan had been the only one inside the Temple to think it hadn't been funny at all.

With this bitter thought in mind, Obi-Wan tried to shake his head clear and he staggered forward to the door. His hands waved aimlessly through the air in front of him, as he searched for the pad to open the doors. He knew it would have been easier for him to find it with his eyes open and the light lit, but he couldn't care.

Finally the door opened with a hissing sound and blindly Obi-Wan staggered through it. Someone had lit the light in their common room, so the bright, harsh light momentarily blinded him. Obi-Wan groaned again. The Force must really hate him to punish him so severely.

It took him a few moments of angry blinking until the colourful spots finally vanished, clearing his view. What he saw made his tired eyes widen in surprise and a sincere smile stretch his lips.

"Master!"

The man in question looked up startled. A fond smile caressed his thin lips and a caring look appeared in his eyes. He really seemed to be happy to see him.

"Obi-Wan, nice to see you. You look tired. I hope I didn't wake you up?"

Qui-Gon was beckoning for his Padawan to come over and take a seat. Now that he took a closer look, he could see the dark shadows under Obi-Wan's eyes and still present sleepiness in his eyes. And though he was awake, he still looked like he needed a good dose of sleep really badly.

The Master frowned in concern. Something was wrong with Obi-Wan. It was early afternoon, the time of the day during which his Padawan was most active. But instead of laughing, training, studying or having fun with his friends, Obi-Wan had been sleeping.

But Obi-Wan walked just over to the other couch, plunged himself down and smiled at his Master disarmingly.

"Oh, no. I was just napping. No need to worry, Master."

He laughed weakly, a sound which didn't ease his Master's worries at all. For his taste, Obi-Wan was trying too hard to dismiss the topic. Inwardly, he sighed. Well, it was his Padawan's decision. As long as his secret didn't hinder his training, there was no way Qui-Gon could force him to reveal his obvious secret.

"If you say so, Obi-Wan."

It was clear that Qui-Gon wasn't pleased but he would let the topic pass for the moment. Obi-Wan smiled weakly in gratitude and relaxed into his seat on the couch. It took a load off his mind that his Master wouldn't pry for more answers. He wasn't sure whether he could give them to him.

"Now, please, tell me, how was your mission, Master?"

Qui-Gon laughed good-heartedly and leaned back completely relaxed into his comfortable armchair. Opposite of him Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow in mock surprise.

Soon the good-hearted laughter changed into a rather embarrassed one. A blush slowly crept over Qui-Gon's cheeks, causing him to try and hide it in a cough.

"Well, the mission was a fake one." Seeing the look of surprise and even bigger incomprehension on his Padawan's face, Qui-Gon hurried to explain. "Do you remember our mission on Rutan, when we were ordered to investigate why Prince Leed didn't want to return to his home planet? Well, figures he has a younger sister."

He looked up from the table top where his eyes had rested for the last few moments to look at his Padawan. Obi-Wan was listening intently, but he still couldn't see how this was making his Master's mission a fake one. Heaving a sigh, Qui-Gon decided to make himself clearer.

Fidgeting nervously in his seat on the couch, Qui-Gon tried desperately to hide his discomfort and embarrassment.

"I haven't noticed her the last time, but obviously Princess Ronaan noticed me and has taken a great fancy to me. She got it into that flaky head or hers that I was the one she wanted to have. So she forced her brother Taroon, the current King, to ask the Jedi Council for help in an obscure matter and ask especially for me. Once I was there, she wanted to arrest me and tried to convince me to marry her."

Few moments passed and nothing happened. The younger man stared at his Master with wide open, disbelieving eyes, his mouth hanging open slightly, while the older man tried to keep the waves of discomfort he was feeling and the bright red, embarrassed blush at bay.

Suddenly Obi-Wan started to laugh hysterically. His eyes were narrowed, tears leaking down his flushed cheeks. The laughter echoed loudly through the room, causing Qui-Gon to cross his arms over his chest in consternation. He couldn't believe it. Here he was telling his Padawan about his horrible, traumatic experience and what was the young man doing? Laughing at him, right in his face!

When Obi-Wan doubled over to the side, his hands clutched to his abdomen, Qui-Gon decided it was high time for him to finally step in.

"Why, thank you, Padawan mine.", Qui-Gon stated rather miffed. "I will tell you there was nothing funny about this situation. I barely came out of it alive!"

His Padawan coughed uncomfortably, obviously trying to hide his laughter. With a low sigh and his lips still drawn into a teasing smile, Obi-Wan rubbed his tears away. Well, it really was enough. Taking a bit of pity on his poor Master wouldn't hurt him.

"I'm sorry, Master. I shouldn't have laughed about your situation. I'm glad you came out of it alive and relatively unharmed."

Casting his eyes downwards, Obi-Wan was the perfection picture of a subdued and rueful Padawan. Though Qui-Gon wasn't fooled, he knew his Padawan was teasing him. But as at least the laughter had died down, he decided again to let it pass.

'Force, I've been becoming rather forgiving lately.'

Coughing again, Qui-Gon tried to divert the strange thought. "Now tell me, Obi-Wan, what have you been doing during my absence? Did you practice on your katas as I told you?"

He expected his Padawan to blush and stammer out some excuse or other. His Padawan was hard-working and responsible, but sometimes he needed to motivate him more. So with him being somewhere else, Qui-Gon expected him to fall easy prey to his friends and other diversions.

But instead of doing this, Obi-Wan only shook his head sadly.

"I'm sorry, Master. I couldn't. The Council sent me away on a weeklong solo mission." Seeing the look of utter confusion on his Master's face, Obi-Wan nodded in understanding. "I see, you didn't know about this mission?"

"No, I didn't." Qui-Gon shook his head thoughtfully. He really hadn't known. A frown appeared on his face. It was a strange course of action for the Council to send a Padawan on a solo mission without discussing it with his Master first.

Obi-Wan heaved a sigh and let himself sink down deeper into his armchair. Now that the hilarity and surprise had vanished away, he suddenly felt weak and sick again.

"They sent me on some sort of escort mission. I was to guide the ship to Alderaan, wait there until my charge was installed safely and then return to Coruscant."

Qui-Gon stared at his Padawan and raised an eyebrow in disbelieve. "And that was all?" Obi-Wan nodded. "You didn't have to do anything? There was no hidden danger? You only had to guide the ship and then return?" Each time, Obi-Wan nodded and with each nod Qui-Gon's disbelieve and suspicion increased.

"I can't help myself, but it doesn't look like something the Council would do. Normally they don't accept missions that any other security service could do. Do you know what the charge consisted of? Must have been really important or dangerous."

The millisecond it took Obi-Wan longer to shake his head went unnoticed by his Master. The young Padawan was tense. Normally he would share everything with his Master, truly everything. The same went for saying the truth. He would never ever even consider trying to lie to him. His Master would probably realize his attempt immediately.

But he didn't have a choice. The order had been explicit. He was under no circumstances allowed to enter the cargo compartment. In other words, he wasn't allowed to find out what exactly the charge had been. By searching for the source of the screams, Obi-Wan had gone against that order. And though he knew that his Master would probably be very understanding giving his caring and compassionate nature, Obi-Wan didn't want to push his luck.

For a few moments none of them spoke. While Obi-Wan pondered over the mess this simple mission had caused, Qui-Gon was looking at his Padawan intently. Something was off. He was so absent-minded, his face pale and a little sweaty, his eyes glassy and looking far into distance.

Surprise struck Qui-Gon and he leaned a little bit forward in his chair to have a better look. Now that he was looking more intently, Qui-Gon could see the light shivers wrecking his Padawan's body. He must be ill, he realized.

With a sigh, Qui-Gon brought Obi-Wan back to reality.

"And here I thought you were looking so sick because you went swimming with Bant and forgot again that it can be cold at this time of the year."

The younger man chuckled weakly and shook his head ruefully.

"I think I'm coming down with something. Must be a bug from Alderaan. It shouldn't be too bad.", he added when he saw his Master's concerned glance. "I promise, I will consult the Healers should it get any worse."

Qui-Gon nodded, though he obviously wasn't very happy about it. His Padawan was looking ill, he was sick at the moment. There was no need to wait and let things progress and get worse. He was about to open his mouth and object to his Padawan's plan of action, when the door's tinkle prevented him from doing so.

Both men exchanged confused looks and then shrugged. With a wave of Qui-Gon's hand the door opened and a pair of light brown clad Jedi entered.

The Master's eyes immediately lit up with delight and joy at seeing the taller person. With his hands shuffling his long robes together, he made more room for the visitors to take a seat. There would be enough space for one of them to sit next to him, while the other could take the chair next to Obi-Wan.

"Master Tahl, Padawan Eerin, good afternoon. Come in, take a seat!"

His happy, radiant smile was contagious. A joyful glimmer was shining brightly in his eyes causing the taller of the two Jedi to blush and the two Padawans to inwardly roll their eyes. Really, how dense did their Masters think they were? It was clear to both of them that there was something going on between their Masters.

The taller Jedi blushed lightly, colour barely noticeable on her tanned skin. But instead of coming forward and taking a seat, Master Tahl shook her head sadly and smiled apologetically at them.

"Good afternoon, Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi. Thanks for the invitation, but sadly I have to decline." She motioned for Bant to step forward and take a seat then looked at Qui-Gon with a questioning look in her eyes. "The Council sends me. They want us to meet them as soon as possible."

Qui-Gon sighed and shook lightly his head in reluctance. His plans for a relaxed evening with his Padawan, drinking tea and talking about random things had just gone overboard. Lacking the proper motivation he got up, brushed some wrinkles out of his robes and then looked at Tahl with a small mischievous smile on his lips.

"Well, then, we better get going, no need to make them wait." Over his shoulder he was watching his Padawan attentively. He didn't need to tell him that he should rest and take this easy. Obi-Wan was an adult, after all. He knew how to take care of himself. Nevertheless he couldn't help but feel wary because of the young man's state.

Shaking his head free of the thoughts and submitting himself to his fate - there really wasn't anything he could do - Qui-Gon looked at Tahl, offered his arm to her and graced her with one of his brightest smiles. "Lead the way, Master Tahl."

The tall woman blushed, but nevertheless took the offered arm. With a last wink at his Padawan, Qui-Gon and Tahl left their quarters, leaving a happily giggling Bant and a heavily amused Obi-Wan behind.

As soon as the door had closed, Bant rushed over to Obi-Wan and all but tackled him to the floor. With her arms firmly wrapped around his shoulders, Bant brought her startled friend near to her chest, hugging him for all that he was worth.

"I was so worried! Reeft, Garen and I wanted to invite you to come and have a stroll through the city, but you weren't there. When we asked Master Gallia, she said you weren't at the Temple. We thought you were ill and had to be brought to some special hospital for treatment."

She stopped dead in her tracks, only to bring her hand to his forehead. Her silvery eyes widened with surprise and a worried expression crept over her features. "You are ill, you're running a fever! Obi-Wan, where have you been?"

The words had not completely left her mouth, but Bant was already pulling a weakly struggling Obi-Wan out of his chair and pushed him insistently towards the kitchen. "I will make you some soup and a nice cup of hot tea. You are burning, Obi-Wan. Really, you should take better care of yourself. What have you been doing anyway?"

Bant pushed Obi-Wan unceremoniously into a chair and started her search for some soup, tea and a water boiler. Obi-Wan couldn't help but just sit there and watch her with blurry eyes. He felt so weak, like something had tapped him, stealing some of his life-energy. The pressure on his mind was unbearable and the pain all over his body wasn't making this better.

"Mission. I was on a mission, Bant." His eyes were closed, as his head was placed in his hands to support it, causing his voice to come out rather muffled. And though he couldn't see his friend, he felt her confusion even more. "Sorry, but I hadn't had time to tell you guys. And, please, don't fret. It's nothing fatal. Just some bug I must have caught there."

The young Mon Calamari snorted and rolled her eyes at her friend. "Let me be the judge of that, Obi-Wan. You would say that losing an arm was nothing grave either. Force, you are just incapable of taking care of yourself. Men, always too proud to know when it would be good for them to be honest!"

With an admonishing shaking of her head, Bant fetched the cup of tea and the plate with soup carefully, so nothing would spill over. Once the two items were placed in front of him, Bant took her seat and looked at her friend with a deep frown on her face.

"Let's make a deal, Obi-Wan. I know you want to know what happened in the Temple. At the same time you wish for nothing more than to go to bed. So, the deal is, I tell you what happened here, while you eat your soup and then you tell me what happened on your mission. After that I will immediately disappear and let you rest in peace. What do you say?"

Through his linked fingers Obi-Wan looked at his friends with red rimmed eyes. He should have known it, he thought. Bant was the most stubborn person he knew. She wouldn't just let herself be put off so easily. With the most mock scornful frown Obi-Wan could muster, while his head was feeling as if it would burst open any second, Obi-Wan nodded and took a small sip of his tea.

Had he looked up, he would have seen a happy, radiant smile gracing his best friend's face.

"Okay, let me get started. Master Tahl was gone on some mission. She had to mediate between several dangerous but small nomadic groups. They were about to start a brutal civil war and Master Tahl's help was dearly needed. I so wanted to come and help her, but I wasn't allowed. They were living on a desert planet. It would have been too hot and dry for me."

Her voice became bitter as she stopped for a while and frankly, Obi-Wan could understand it. Master Tahl was a very considerate and devoted Master, but sometimes she needed to do things on her own. Sadly this was exactly what Bant didn't need. She needed loyalty, devotion and constancy. To be left alone in the Temple, and be it for an understandable reason just like that, caused Bant a lot more grief than she wanted to admit. Often Obi-Wan would find her in one of their hiding places, crying her sorrow about her unworthiness out of her body.

And though Obi-Wan knew her thoughts were wrong, there was nothing he could do to change her mind. The only one able to do so would have been her Master.

While Obi-Wan was studying his friend, Bant gathered her strength and dismissed her bad feelings into the Force. A small smile suddenly appeared around her lips, as she remembered something she had to be grateful for. Hadn't she stayed here, it would have never happened.

"Oh, Obi-Wan, you won't believe it! While I was here, I was strolling through the gardens, as I had nothing better to do. I don't know how it happened, my mind must have been elsewhere, but suddenly I was in a place I have never been before. It was beautiful! There were so many wild flowers, high trees and several small, clear creeks. I will show you. You really have to see it."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but smile lightly at his friend's overly joyful behaviour. Her love for undisturbed, peaceful places was nearly as big as her love for water. With a good-hearted shake of his head, Obi-Wan went back to eating his soup.

He would visit this place. Bant would make sure of it.

The Mon Calamari leaned back in the chair and let her mind wander. "Well, for the rest of us, there isn't much to tell. Garen is practising his flying acrobatics with Master Rhara. He must have improved a lot, since he will soon be allowed to go on his first solo mission. Reeft has been practising his Ataru style with Master Ibes. Honestly, you two should spare together. I think it could become really interesting. As for Siri, I haven't seen her in a while, so I can't tell you what she has been up to."

A happy smile appeared on Obi-Wan's face and a warm feeling spread through his chest. Everything was all right, his friends were fine. His fears for having missed something important were unfounded, as was his fear of what his friends would say should they find out about his strange mission. He didn't have any reason to worry.

Opposite to him Bant was waiting patiently. He knew she wanted to hear what he had to tell her about his mission, but Obi-Wan hesitated. He still didn't know what to tell her and even less how. The order had been explicit and yet he had gone against it. Could he really risk to tell his friend what had happened? Wouldn't that only worsen his situation?

On the other hand, Bant was his best friend. He could trust her with everything. Never in her whole life would Bant do something that could cause danger or trouble for her friends. She was calm, collected, analytical, but compassionate, loyal and understanding. His secret would be safe with her.

Furthermore he needed someone to share his thoughts with. The endless possibilities of 'what ifs?' and 'maybes' were starting to drive him crazy. He needed another person to think them through with him and help him tidy up the mess that was his troubled mind.

So, finally coming to a conclusion, Obi-Wan placed his cup on the table and locked his eyes with Bant's. With all the strength he could muster, Obi-Wan tried to show his concern through his eyes.

"I will tell you, Bant. But, please, don't talk with anyone about what I will tell you. The Council would have my head if they found out." Seeing the worried, but understanding look in her eyes, Obi-Wan continued in a conspiratorial way. "It was unbelievable! I wouldn't believe it, hadn't I seen it myself." Really, Bant, it was crazy!…"


	3. Chapter 3

** 3. Chapter**

'The Council must really have it in for us.'

Obi-Wan was laying on his bed, his arms folded behind his head and his eyes neatly focused on a point at the ceiling. The room was dark and aside from the barely audible sound of the heavily working motor, nothing could be heard. And though it was dark and nearly silent, Obi-Wan couldn't sleep. Too troubled was his mind.

The young man scoffed when his mind went back to the meeting mere hours ago. He had done as his Master had ordered him. As soon as Bant had made sure he was indeed halfway okay, he had gone to bed. But being the good friend Bant was, she had asked him a dozen of times if he really was feeling okay before she was finally and completely convinced.

Bant had been fascinated by his story. She had listened without interrupting him even once. If one didn't know her, he would say she was totally uninterested. But Obi-Wan knew better than that. He had seen the excited glint in her eyes and the small, unconscious movements of her hands whenever she felt the urge to say something.

He didn't know how long they had been sitting in the kitchen, drinking tea and discussing all kind of possibilities of whom the mysterious girl could be to why she was even needed here at the Temple in the first place. It was a pleasant talk, full of light laughter and merry comments. They couldn't come to a conclusion, but that didn't matter anyway. What was important was that they had spent time together.

Shortly before midnight Bant bid him goodbye and made her way back to her quarters. When the door had closed, Obi-Wan sighed audibly and stretched, causing the joints in his back to crack painfully and yawned. With a tired look to the watch, Obi-Wan shuffled to his bedroom. It was late, he was tired. There was nothing that would keep him from getting his well-deserved sleep.

With a graceless, uncaring movement Obi-Wan let himself fall flat onto his bed, dead to the world as soon as his head hit his pillow.

* * *

><p>The next morning Obi-Wan had staggered tiredly into the kitchen. He really wasn't a morning person. No one was able to get a coherent answer from him before he hadn't had at least one cup of coffee. Normally he would sleep in, as they had no mission and no meeting to attend. But his Master had asked him to work on his katas. As he hadn't been able to train, his Master surely wanted to catch up on it<p>

With an ungraceful movement Obi-Wan let himself fall onto his chair and rested his head in his hands. He tried in vain to hide the yawn that spread over his mouth and looked up with tiredly blinking eyes to see what his Master was doing.

He couldn't help but startle at the strange sight and stare uncomprehendingly at the man in front of him. His Master had always been a morning person, always getting up long before him and was always in good mood when Obi-Wan finally stumbled out of his bed. But even for Master Jinn his current mood was just too much.

A ridiculously content smile was gracing his face, a happy bounce was in his step and a lively whistle resounded in the small room. It wasn't that his Master wasn't normally a happy, content man, far from it. But this was even too much for him. Something extraordinarily pleasant must have happened to cause him such a mood.

'Perhaps he and Master Tahl brought their not-so-secret relationship to a new level? He surely came back rather late…'

With an uncaring shrug, Obi-Wan returned his attention back to his coffee and pastries. Whatever it was, he surely would find out in time.

Their breakfast passed without any further incident and both Jedi were just about to leave for a much needed and welcomed lightsabre training session, when their commlinks chimed and a startling message reached them. The Council wanted to see them and the Councillors wanted them to be there now.

There wasn't really anything else they could do. So with groans of silent suffering as well as frustration on Obi-Wan's part, both resigned to their fates and left their quarters to go to the Council's meeting room. They made their way in silence, each of them pondering what the Councillors could possibly want from them but none of them came even up with the slightest idea.

What the Council than told them was one of the worst jokes ever. They were to go on yet another mission, the third mission in a row without even one single free day of down time. Because the fake mission Qui-Gon had to live through was indeed that, no real mission. Having to fear for one's physical integrity and freedom was really a pleasant way to relax, wasn't it? As for Obi-Wan, he had only had to spend some time alone on a ship, doing nothing. That really couldn't be considered as a real mission now, could it?

Sarcasm put aside. The Councillors may think different, but Obi-Wan was sure that either of them had had three missions. And even the last ones had been stressful.

So, even after some weak protest and a lot of confused and surprised staring, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan accepted the mission. Not that there was any possibility they could avoid it. An hour later they had packed their things and took off of the planet, only to land two days later at their destination.

Currently the young Padawan was standing on the ramp of their ship, just about to make his first step onto this planet. When the metal ramp had sunk to the floor, Obi-Wan was hit by a nearly solid wall of pure heat. He couldn't help but stumble back and groan.

'Force, this mission was going to be unpleasant.'

M'Bardi was a planet on the border with Outer Rim. Oceans and seas covered its surface. The only dry parts were small islands in the endless mass of different kinds of blue. Far above them, three suns were illuminating the planet, providing it with a lot more heat and energy than was even needed. It was hot, there was a lot of water, to make it short, it was humid.

Obi-Wan brought his hand up and discretely tried to wipe off the first traces of sweat which were forming on his forehead.

'Bant would have loved it here. It's a pity her Master always gets the missions on dry and hot planets. It's just not fair to her.'

As soon as he felt his Master's presence next to him, Obi-Wan tried to focus on the task which lay before them. It wouldn't do him any good should Master Jinn find him standing there, gazing into nothingness. So when the taller man started to walk forward to the main building with a self-assuredness his young apprentice often envied him, Obi-Wan found himself following him dutifully.

At the entrance, a tall, young, humanoid man awaited them. He was wearing very formal, elegant robes, showing off his obvious high, governmental status. Huge, round, brown eyes stared at them unblinkingly. A short nose, situated over a set of thin lips graced his eyebrow free face. His skin had a bright, green tone, clashing horrible with his red and orange robes. He clapped his webbed hands and showed them his pointy teeth.

"Welcome, Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi! Welcome to our dear planet. Come in, come in."

Both Jedi bowed and smiled, though the later was a little strained. His voice was just as similar annoying as the colour of his skin and robes, shrill and lurid. It resounded loudly around them and caused them to wince a little in pain when it gained volume.

A shocked look suddenly appeared on the young M'Bardian man's face and he clapped one of his hands dramatically over his mouth.

"Oh, no, please, forgive me. I didn't even introduce myself to you. My name is Shi'in No. I am representative head of government, replacing head of government Sha'on Ka. Mister Ka has an urgent meeting at the moment and won't therefore be able to see to you today. He wishes for the first appointment to be tomorrow. So, if you wish so, I would show you to your rooms so you could rest."

Obi-Wan could barely contain his scornful scowl as he contemplated the young man's words. Their meeting was postponed. Normally this wouldn't cause any problems. Unfortunately this meeting was at the same time of the briefing of their mission. All they knew was that they were here to check something and mediate between different parties. The details they would learn during their first appointment.

So, now, they kept them in the darkness again.

His Master on the other hand, seemed to take the news a lot better than he did, as he smiled benevolently at the unorthodox man. With light bow, Qui-Gon inclined his head and looked intently at his counterpart.

"That is acceptable, Mister No. We have no problem with meeting head of government tomorrow."

The young man all but beamed at them and motioned for them to follow him. He led them through the brightly illuminated hallways, passed several huge meeting rooms and even more small gardens, until he finally stopped in front of a double door and bowed to them.

"If there is anything you need, please feel free to call for us. Dinner will be brought to your rooms, just as breakfast. You will be contacted once Mister Ka has settled a time for your meeting. Have a nice evening, Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi."

With another bow and a beaming smile, the young man vanished from their sights. The two Jedi looked at each other, shrugged and then entered their quarters.

The rooms were nice, Obi-Wan realized with surprise. Bright, white light, tinted with orange and pink was streaming into the rooms through a wand of glass solely. The windows reached from the ceiling to the floor, providing its habitants with a wonderful view over the spectacular landscape, islands covered with tropical flowers and seas of the clearest blue.

The furniture was simple, yet elegant. In the first and second room they each had a bed, nearly as large as a double-bed would be, a huge wardrobe and a small night stand. The third room was filled with two couches, a couch table, some shelves filled with datapads and what looked suspiciously like art and some sort of technical device providing them with music. A kitchen and a bathroom were connected to the small entrance hall. All was kept in white and glass, looking strangely organic and very fitting.

It was really nice. If the pressing matter of their unknown mission wasn't there to disturb them, they could have easily enjoyed their time here, pretending they were away on vacation.

Getting settled in didn't take a lot of time. They travelled with barely any luggage at all, just some tunics and leggings for changing, some datapads with things Obi-Wan could, or better had to learn and a special one with all available information known about M'Bardi was what they had brought with them.

Qui-Gon sighed happily, trying to lessen the tension in his shoulders by rolling them. He let his gaze drift through their quarters swiftly before he placed himself on one of the couches and smiled lightly at his Padawan.

"Take some time to relax, Obi-Wan. The meeting tomorrow will probably be a strenuous and long one. Do whatever you please, I will stay here and try to learn more about this planet and our possible mission."

The young man nodded, looked lonely through the apartment and then made his way to his sleeping room. On his way there he snatched a datapad from one of the shelves and then vanished into his room, leaving the door slightly open so he would hear it, should his Master need him. Not that there was need for this, as Qui-Gon was very well able to contact him through their training bond. It was a habit Obi-Wan had developed when he was still very young and it was difficult to let it rest.

As soon as he was near his bed, Obi-Wan all but threw himself onto it. With a pleased look on his face he let his body sink further into the soft, fluffy cushions and sighed in contentedness. Wow, this bed was nice, he thought. Perhaps he could take a nap and be fit until he was supposed to attend dinner with his Master.

He closed his eyes and tried to relax. But even with counting sheep and counting backwards in each language he was able to, it didn't ease his mind at all and sleep just wouldn't claim him. His mind was troubled, running wild in strange, wide loops, causing him to stay awake even against his wish.

When nearly an hour had passed and still sleep wasn't anywhere nearer than before, Obi-Wan sighed in frustration and got of off the bed. His shoulders cracked painfully and he wasn't able to suppress a pained groan as he made his way to the common room.

There was no other way around. His mind was troubled and in uproar. The only way for him to calm and be finally able to rest and perhaps even sleep, was to find out what it was that caused him to be so restless. He needed to release whatever anxiety he had into the Force.

He needed to meditate.

A wry smile found its way to his lips and he chuckled lightly in mirth. Oh, his Master might very well die because of shock. Never in all his life had he had ever considered meditating on his own. No, most of the time he didn't even like to meditate when his Master told him to. Now would be the first time for him to break this iron rule.

True to his words Master Jinn wasn't surprised when he returned to their common room. He didn't even look up from the datapad he was reading. Slowly Obi-Wan went to the middle of the room, the only place where a soft, thick carpet was covering the floor. Still his Master was uninterested. However, as soon as the young man sunk to his knees, took in the position required for meditating, the elder man couldn't help but look up from his reading.

His eyes widened a little as his gaze rested on the young man kneeling before him. For a few moments Qui-Gon thought about asking his Padawan whether he needed help or if something was wrong, but finally the Master decided against it. During the moments it took Obi-Wan to finally settle into the stance he needed, the elder man's blue eyes never left the younger man's form, drinking in a sight Qui-Gon had always wished he would see one day. When the young man finally stilled, his palms resting on his knees and his eyes closed, the elder man smiled, shook his head lightly in mirth and then went back to his reading.

Obi-Wan let his mind wander and delved deeper into the Force. He could feel the Force's presence around him, vibrant, pulsating, and bouncing around him. It drew him deeper and he would have lost himself totally in its embrace hadn't there been something holding him back.

He couldn't concentrate, couldn't let go of whatever was keeping his mind in uproar. It wasn't that he didn't want to, quite the contrary, but something was restraining him. The more he tried to push it away, the fiercer its hold onto his mind became.

A headache was forming behind his temples, causing him to narrow his still closed eyes and frown in displeasure. His throat was killing him, being sore and scratchy. Gulping was becoming difficult, as was concentrating. Sweat appeared on his skin, causing him to shiver lightly.

It was strange, the more he tried to loose himself in the Force and banish his anxiety into the Force, the more problems he had and the worse his condition became. Soon they would reach a point that would be unbearable for Obi-Wan. He needed help, his Master's help.

He wanted to break the connection and ask for Master Jinn's guidance, but he was unable to. With a fear stricken mind he noticed he was stuck. His mind was rooted, making in impossible for him to emerge from his meditation.

Darkness edged around his vision, causing the fear to spike immensely. This was wrong, such things weren't supposed to happen. He tried again to come out of it, but it was to no avail. Waves of pain and horror were crashing over him, leading him far away from his body.

He wanted to scream, wanted to warn his Master, but he couldn't. The pain, the darkness and the fear took over his mind and body, leading him farer and farer away from where he was supposed to be. Finally, after a lot of fruitless struggling, Obi-Wan resigned, sinking into an ocean of endless pain…

_Pain… There was so much pain…_

_He felt horrible. His body was aching all over, waves of pain racing through his arms and legs, causing the small hairs on his limbs to stand up. It felt as if he was subjected to electric jolts. It hurt so much, so unbearable much, he couldn't take it anymore._

'_Stop it.', his mind pleaded at him, sobbed to him. 'Make it stop. I can't take it anymore. It's too much.' _

_His heart was clenching painfully, each heart beat felt as if his heart was breaking, been torn apa__rt_._ Th__e air in his lungs burned with harsh intensity, making it so difficult for him to breath. His breath was laboured, sounding strangely strangled and pained in his ears._

'_Just breath.', he told himself, repeating it like a mantra in his head. 'Just breath, concentrate on nothing but breathing.'_

_He didn't know how long he had been laying there, his eyes closed, only concentrating on forcing air into his lungs, but at some point, the pain had receded. Slowly it had dimmed to a point he could tolerate. It only ached a little but otherwise it was completely bearable._

_Slowly his eyes fluttered open. He was well enough, after all, it was time to find out where he was. The room was illuminated with a bright light, awfully bright light. It was stinging his eyes, making tears appear and slowly run down his cheeks._

_He blinked slowly again, waited a few moments and then blinked another time. With a sigh of relief he realized how the big black spots became fewer and smaller and how the rest of the room suddenly became clearer._

_The room was sparsely furnished the bed he was lying in was the only thing besides a few shelves and a small cupboard. On the left side of the room was the only door leading to the room. There was no single window offering natural daylight. Only bare, plain white walls which reflected the too bright and artificial light brutally._

_A deep frown appeared on his forehead. For the love of the Force, he didn't know where he was. The room was foreign to him. Confusion arose, clouding his mind and making it difficult for him to think clearly._

_He could feel the wall's closeness to him. It was oppressing, as if a sudden weight had appeared right above his chest and was now pressing down on his lungs and heart. The pressure was unbearable. A firm hand was closing itself around his heart and lungs, squeezing them tightly._

_Fear was clouding his mind, only to intensify immensely. He couldn't think, he couldn't hear and he couldn't see. All that he was able to do was feel __fear swell up inside of him._

'_W-where am I? What __am I doing here?'_

_He was too caught up in his misery to notice how the door to his room opened and two people entered. Nor did he realize how the taller of both persons was sent away, only to return moments later with an injection and small bottle filled with clear liquid._

_His heartbeat had quickened so much, it felt like his heart was about to burst. In laboured breaths he tried to force his lungs to inhale the fresh, cool air around him._

_A hand suddenly was at his shoulder, reassuring him with a light squeeze and a soft stroke over his trembling arms. The warmth of the hand and the feeling of safety spread through his hurt body, calming his muscles and soul. He felt himself relax at the caring ministrations._

_With the last bit of strength he could muster he forced his eyes open. A yellowish blob swam into his view. Surprised and a little concerned he blinked and immediately his surroundings became clear. Above him stood a young woman with yellowish skin. She had dark eyes and black markings at her lips and around her eyes. A soft and caring smile was on her lips as she peered down at him intently._

"_Hush, everything is fine. Stay still and calm down. You are safe, there is no need to worry."_

_But her soothing and calmness did nothing to ease his worries. Quite the contrary. He didn't know her, she was as foreign to him like the rest of the room, yet she was acting as if she had known him for a long time. How could that be? Had he lost his memory? What was going on?_

_Again his heartbeat quickened and his breathing became laboured. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see a sad look flash through her dark eyes. But as soon as he tried to focus on it, it was gone. The young woman shook her head worriedly and looked at him with a lot of pity._

"_I'm sorry, sweetheart, I wish I didn't have to do this. Believe me, it's the best for you."_

_The tone of her voice caused him to tense immediately. But before he could even react, an injection was in the young woman's hand. A light prick at his upper arm, immediately followed by a burning sensation spreading through his limbs caused him to look up surprised to her. There, right in his upper arm, was sticking the now empty injection._

"_Relax, just relax. If you fight, it will only cause you pain. Just relax and sleep, sweetheart."_

_And though she had told him not to do it, he couldn't help but fight the sedative. It was in his nature, he wasn't just about to sit there and wait for his mind and body to shut down. But even though he was fighting the narcotic, it was a lost case and he knew it._

_He could feel his mind going numb again. His vision became blurry and little black spots started to hinder his sight, growing with each passing moment until they started to overlap. The voices around him became unclear, the words barely understandable. He felt strangely light weighted, as if he was floating. The feeling in his limbs vanished and slowly this unpleasant sensation was working its way to his heart. Soon, so very so he would feel nothing anymore…_

"Obi-Wan!"

The frantic shout, followed by a slapping sound and a burning pain on his left cheek brought the young man back to reality.

Blue eyes fluttered open and a strangled gasp echoed through the room. He couldn't see, Obi-Wan's mind screamed at him in utter panic. He couldn't see, he couldn't hear and he didn't know where he was. It was maddening, like some kind of horrible nightmare coming through.

Fear overtook his body, causing his arms to start to trembling and his heartbeat to quicken. The adrenalin was starting to affect his mind, making it difficult for him to think clearly. In a few moments, his fear would overtake his whole body. It really was only a matter of time until he would completely lose control.

'No!'

With a forced intake of breath, Obi-Wan tried to coerce his mind and body into doing his bidding. His eyes closed so he wouldn't feel disorientated anymore and his breath was forced to calm down. The young man concentrated with all his might on his breathing, the way cool, fresh air would stream into his mouth and reach his lungs, then the wave of hot air leaving his mouth again. It was soothing, the way his chest rose and sunk.

Slowly Obi-Wan felt himself relaxing. The tension in his muscles started to leave and the strain on his body began to recede. And though this little exercise had only cost him a few moments of time, it had been enough to vanquish his fear and raising horror.

Feeling himself up to it, Obi-Wan opened his eyes only to come face to face with his Master.

The closeness caused both of them to immediately reel back. A startled look appeared on his Master's otherwise completely worried face, while Obi-Wan could feel his cheeks redden in embarrassment. But this wasn't the only thing he felt. With a surprised gasp the young man brought his hand to his left cheek.

"Master!" His voice was filled with shock and his eyes with the hurt and bits of betrayal he felt. Carefully he tried to sooth his abused cheek with the coolness of his hand. "You slapped me!"

The tall Master shrugged. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan." His voice betrayed him, he didn't feel one bit of remorse and he didn't even bother to hide it. "But it was the only thing I could do."

Obi-Wan looked at his Master with incredulity. "It was the _only_ thing you could do?"

A solemn nod was the sight that greeted him. Worry laced Master Jinn's voice as he watched his apprentice with an intense look. "You collapsed. I don't know why or how it happened. One moment you were meditating and everything was fine, the next moment you collapsed."

He sighed, turned around, fetched a chair and sat down next to the bed Obi-Wan suddenly realized he was laying on. He tried to look calm and collected, yet his anxiety and concern could be clearly seen as they fought against his firm grip on his emotions.

"You were jerking and twitching. It was a scary sight. And something was wrong with your Force signature, too. It changed, wavered even. For a few moments I wasn't even able to feel you anymore."

Qui-Gon closed his eyes as those painful memories washed over him again. He had been so scared when his Padawan had collapsed. A startled, strangled gasp had left the young man's throat, just before his limp body hit the floor. Immediately he had sprung up from his seat. It wasn't abnormal that a youngling had difficulties with his steps into meditation. Far from it. But Obi-Wan wasn't a youngling anymore, he was a Padawan, a conscientious and gifted Padawan. He wouldn't just collapse because of some mistake. His apprentice was too experienced for that.

But before he could even reach the young man, he suddenly started to twitch. With skilled movements, Qui-Gon secured his young apprentice and brought him to his bed. The cold, hard floor just wasn't the right place for an obviously sick being.

Dread and a lot of worry had caught his heart in a firm, relentless grip. With barely restrained shivers running over his arm, Qui-Gon placed a hand on Obi-Wan's forehead, feeling for his body temperature and his presence in the Force. The elder man closed his eyes and delved deeper into the Force until he finally found what he was searching for.

His eyes flew wide open and an incredulous gasp escaped his lips. He could feel his Padawan, but something was off. His apprentice's signature was there, but something was, too, lacing into it, mingling until one couldn't tell were one signature began and were the other started. It was scary, such things were not supposed to happen.

But even when Qui-Gon tried to find out what exactly was intertwining with Obi-Wan's signature, he couldn't find out what it was. All he could feel was its constant pulsating, its strong vibrating overshadowing his Padawan's faltering essence. It left him confused and very worried.

Obi-Wan gulped nervously, causing his Master to blink and return from his memories to reality. The young man looked drained from his energy. His eyes were at times fluttering close, his breath was shallow and his skin looked dangerously pale.

Qui-Gon felt bad for doing this, but it was necessary. He just needed to the now. Pinching his nose and narrowing his eyes with an unhappy frown, the Master leaned slightly forward and looked intently at his Padawan. "What happened, Obi-Wan? What were you seeing?"

A confused look in the young man's eyes answered him. "I-I don't know, Master." Obi-Wan gulped as an unpleasant feeling wormed its way to his chest. His eyes clouded over for a few moments and his brows were drawn together in apparent hard thinking. "I-I was someone else. He was lying in a bed, not knowing where or even who he was. It was strange, Master."

His eyes met those of his Master shyly, as if he was afraid of what he would see in them. Unconsciously his hands fiddled with the hem of his tunics, a clear give-away to how distressed he really was. "Could it have been a vision, Master?"

The question made Qui-Gon frown in thought. He didn't know. Normally one didn't just collapse during meditation, nor did one's signature mix with another, untraceable one. But what else could it have been? The only other possibility would be a seizure evoked by an attack. But why should someone do this? Why attack a Padawan?

"It could be, Obi-Wan. But to be honest, I don't really know." The elder man sighed and closed his eyes in tiredness. "But whatever it was, if it was a vision or not, we won't be able to find out here. The Council will have to be informed about this. Maybe they will be able to figure out what happened here."

Obi-Wan didn't really looked assured, but he was in no condition to argue with his Master now. So instead of contradicting his unspoken order, the young man just nodded weakly in resignation and leaned further down into the softness of his cushions.

A soft, concerned smile found its way to Qui-Gon's lips and with a caring motion, he gently pushed his apprentice back and stroked his head. "Get some rest, Obi-Wan. I will wake you up for dinner. But for now, just rest. Tomorrow will be a strenuous day. Be thankful it happened today. Imagine what problems we would have had had it occurred during our meeting."

With a last caring stroke over his head and a reassuring smile at his exhausted Padawan, Qui-Gon left the room and quietly closed the doors. In the currently installed darkness of his room, Obi-Wan was left to ponder if his Master's words were really true. Yes, he was correct, he could be glad it happened today while they were alone.

But who knew it wouldn't happen again tomorrow?


	4. Chapter 4

**4. Chapter**

Bright pinkish and yellowish light streamed into the snow-white painted and decorated room, creating an interesting play of colours to adorn the floor, tables and walls. It lightened the mood considerably, causing the clinical looking room to have a more playful and casual atmosphere.

'Well, isn't it nice? Sadly we don't have the time to watch this spectacle.'

They had just gotten to know what their mission was about. M'Bardi was a prison planet, meaning they harboured criminals from other planets and were being paid for them. The planet's nature was predestined for this. The islands were small and difficult to reach. Those with prisons on them were surrounded by high cliffs and dangerous waterfalls were guarding the islands. Escape was nearly impossible.

Yet the M'Bardians were concerned. The people lived in constant fear that the prisons were not secure enough to prevent riots. It was an understandable fear. Those, who were jailed here, were the worst of the worst. The ones no planet's population wished to have in its own jails for fear some of them would break free and would let their anger out on the unsuspecting population.

For the last few hours Master Qui-Gon, the whole Cabinet led by the head of government Shi'in No and Obi-Wan had been sitting in the largest meeting room available, listening intently to what the safety inspectors had to tell them. It wasn't much, Obi-Wan realized with an exasperated sigh. Aside from the normal and understandable promises that they had done everything in their might to secure the jails, there was nothing new.

It would take them a lot of time, but strangely Obi-Wan felt very motivated. It didn't take him much effort to listen to the different security officers. There was something burning inside of him, a strong desire to bring this conference to a positive end. This was an important task, he would be able to change something and help many people in process.

A small, happy smile found its way to his lips and with new enthusiasm, Obi-Wan threw himself into the meeting.

It was several hours later, Shi'in No was currently showing a ground plan of one of the jails as an example, when it happened. Obi-Wan was leaning comfortably back into his seat, when suddenly his breath hitched. At first, he thought nothing of it and continued to listen to the head of the government but then it happened again.

His heartbeat was suddenly increasing, causing his heart to hammer uncomfortably in his chest, making it difficult for him to breath. The young man blinked uncertainly. He was just sitting there, so why was his heart suddenly beating faster?

He shook his head lightly, as if wanting to shake the strange thoughts away, but all he succeeded in was that he then felt a little dizzy. A light hissing sound reached his ears, disturbing him greatly. Fresh air was drawn through his slightly parted lips in harsh pants. He could feel the burning in his chest, felt how his lungs were having trouble to breathe.

Cold sweat was suddenly pouring out of his body, covering his sensible skin in fine layers, making the small hairs on his arms stand up lightly. The feeling increased, sending uncomfortable shivers up and down his spine, nearly making him jump up from his chair.

Suddenly the urge to jump up and pace, to run away and hide was taking over his mind, replacing every single coherent thought that once had been there. His hands, folded neatly in his lap, started to tremble, causing light rustling noises to reach his ears.

Obi-Wan tried to get in control of his emotions desperately. However, the more he tried to regain his control the more his emotions were gliding through his fingers. He would have to meditate, he realized. Closing his eyes, forcing his breath to calm down and his mind to come to rest was probably the only thing that could help him now.

_Dread… fear…. loneliness… you are alone…_

Obi-Wan nearly shook his head, trying desperately to shake off those feelings that immediately took over his opened mind. Why was he scared? There was nothing to fear on this planet. So why was his heart beating so erratically in his chest?

_They are all gone… all gone… none of them is here… _

Well, that was stupid, of course, he wasn't alone. He was on M'Bardi; the whole population was here with him on this planet. Not to forget that the Cabinet and his Master were currently in the same room he was in. He wasn't alone!

_Forced calm breaths… fear compressing his heart… difficulties with breathing… the Force calm around him… soothing… delving deeper into the Force… searching… hope bubbling inside his heart… searching… finding…_

_Nothing._

Obi-Wan suddenly felt like screaming. He knew the feeling when he was delving deeper into the Force, the waves of calmness and contentedness washing over his mind and body, leaving him drunken with peace each time he returned.

But now there was nothing. His Master's bright presence, the one he could normally always feel next to him, was gone. Smaller, not so bright presences were lingering around him, but their light was barely bright enough to illuminate the darkness around him. His Master, he wasn't there.

His breath hitched and the trembling of his fingers increased. That couldn't be, his mind screamed at him. It just couldn't be. His Master had been sitting to his right just mere moments ago. He had been able to feel him. Look to the right, his mind ordered him. Look to the right and see for yourself.

_You are alone… none of them is here… they are all gone…_

With a firm grip on his laboured breathing, Obi-Wan all but forced his eyes to remain open and his head to turn right. It shouldn't be too difficult, he scolded himself. His Master would sit there, his wizened face calm, his long hair falling freely over his shoulders, his dark blue eyes looking intently at his counterpart and a serene smile on his lips…

There was nothing.

Obi-Wan stopped dead in his tracks, a startled gasp leaving his slightly parted lips. Where his Master Qui-Gon Jinn was supposed to be, there was just nothing. There were bright, clinically white walls and nothing more.

_You are alone… they left a long time ago… there is no one here besides you…_

No! That couldn't be, Obi-Wan all but heard his mind sob. He wasn't alone, his Master was there. He had to be, he just knew it. He-

_Gone…_

Stop! What was happening to him? Was he losing his mind? His heart-beat quickened and his breathing became troubled, as his vision began to blur and the loud, booming drum returned in his ears, blocking out every other sound he might have heard. It was too much. He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to get out of here. He-

"- the cells are all separated. There is no way a prisoner could escape them."

Obi-Wan blinked stupidly. There, were moments ago a cold, bright white wall had greeted his vision, was now sitting his Master. A serene smile was on his lips, his back straightened perfectly and his face the emblem of calmness.

They were there. He wasn't alone, his mind sobbed happily.

Slowly the young man tore his disbelieving gaze away from his Master. In his lap, his hands were folded, gripping against each other so forcefully his knuckles were turning white. He could feel his lips still trembling and his eyes stinging with unshed tears.

It had been so real. He nearly would have fallen for it… But what had it been?

The young man closed his eyes shortly and took a calming breath. Whatever it had been, it had been scary. Never once in his life had he lost contact to the real world around him in such a way. A shudder ran over his back. Hopefully he would never have to experience it again.

Pushing the uncomfortable thought far in the back of his mind, Obi-Wan opened his eyes again and forced himself to calm down. He had lost himself in a strange daydream. It was embarrassing to say at least. His attention should have been on the meeting, where it was now and nothing would tear it away from there.

Thankfully, no one had noticed that he had spaced out for a few moments. That would have been embarrassing.

Had Obi-Wan taken the time to look at his Master, he would have seen the concerned and worried look in those dark blue eyes.

* * *

><p>It had happened again.<p>

He had hoped that it had been a one-time thing and nothing more. Some sort of out-spacing, a strange form of vision, a figment of his wayward imagination. Everything, just something one-time.

But it happened repeatedly.

Obi-Wan had been on his way from the huge cantina where he and his Master used to have lunch with the other governmental employees to his quarters, when suddenly his vision became blurry and then he knew no more.

He regained consciousness of sorts later, blinking his eyes against the fuzzy spots in his vision, only to come face to face with a scrubber. After some moments of looking around in incredulity, the young man found out he was indeed in a storage room, a barely used one by the amount of dirt and dust lying around.

The young Padawan wrecked his memory, trying to find out how he had come to this place he hadn't even known of before. But no matter how much he tried, all he remembered was the blurry imagine of the corridor leading from the cantina and then nothing.

He must have been sleepwalking. Only that he hadn't been asleep at that moment.

His cheeks suddenly flamed a bright red and he lowered his head in shame. He had been walking, well, probably more like stumbling around the building mindlessly, crossing who knows whose path. Hopefully nobody had seen him.

And though he wasn't very comfortable with the thought he had been walking around mindlessly, Obi-Wan put it aside as another one-time experience, laughing lightly about how scatter-brained he had become lately.

How wrong he was.

Over the course of the next few days, the young Padawan found himself more and more often in unexplainable and unpredictable situations. He got lost on his way to the meeting, got lost while he was wandering through the corridors and one time he even got lost while on his way to his quarters.

Each time he regained consciousness in a place he had never been before and he didn't recall how he had got there. Each time the last thing he could remember was his vision getting blurry, his hearing overtaken by a loud drumming and his breath starting to become laboured.

And each time he would just regain control while cold sweat covered his entire body and with strong palpations.

* * *

><p>The blackouts were lasting.<p>

Obi-Wan stood in the corridor, hand pressed firmly against his harshly beating heart, cold sweat covering his body. The blackouts lasted longer and grew in their intensity.

The young man's eyes fluttered close and a weak whimper left his throat. He had just been on his way to the gardens when it had happened again. A cold hand suddenly closed around his heart, squeezing it with all its might. A strangled gasp escaped his lips and his eyes widened in horror, as his vision began to become blurry again before he stumbled.

The next thing Obi-Wan became aware of was that he was crouching in a dark corner, his knees drawn firmly to his chest, arms wrapped around them and his head burrowed deep into them. He throat was sore and his eyes were stinging, as shivers wrecked his body.

Not only lasted those blackouts longer, their impact was getting worse with every time. He now remembered what happened to him, he could feel the distress and fear trying to chock him, could feel how his body responded to the emotional and physical pain.

There was one thing he now could be sure of, something was definitely wrong with him.

A shaky hand found its way to his eyes and wiped away the unshed tears. Yes, something was wrong. He needed help, serious help that is and, at best, immediately. But he couldn't. He was stuck with his Master on this planet and before they hadn't completed their mission, there was no way he could get the help he needed.

A sudden pang appeared in his heart, causing him to close his eyes and lean his head against the wall in misery. His Master, he needed to know what was happening to him. Ever since those blackouts or visions or whatever they were had started, Obi-Wan had withdrawn himself further and further from the elder man.

At first, he had thought he would be able to get through it alone. He wasn't a child anymore, after all. But with time passing, a different motive had appeared, stronger than his pride. He was scared, scared that something was very wrong with him.

What if it was a disease? His Master would catch it should he come too near. What if it were indeed only visions? His Master wouldn't be able to help him with those. And what if he was really, seriously ill?

Then Qui-Gon was to remain ignorant as long as possible. The elder man had enough to carry as it was, he didn't need to worry anymore for his Padawan. No, Obi-Wan had decided, he would live through this alone. If he was indeed ill, then his Master would find out soon enough when they returned to the Temple. There he would be able to divert his mind, without endangering their mission or his life.

It was a stupid but in his mind a very brave decision. He would try to spare his Master as much pain and worry as possible. Qui-Gon deserved no less.

There was just a small problem with this plan. What if his Master found out on his own? That was something Obi-Wan didn't even want to imagine.

* * *

><p>It stopped.<p>

Whatever it had been Obi-Wan had been suffering from for the last few days, it had stopped. It had been a whole day now and still not for one moment had his mind gone blank and had his body moved on its own accord. It was reassuring, or at least it should be.

He had thought he couldn't be more happy and content once this whole procedure was over, but he wasn't. Instead of his head and heart becoming light with positive thoughts, he could feel as if something closing around his heart and starting to squeeze it.

They young man sat in his seat on the shuttle, his back resting comfortably against the soft cushion and his head turned to where a huge window was showing the M'Bardian landscape. They were on their way to visit the biggest prison of the planet and to make sure that everything was really fine.

His blue eyes looked out of the window. He couldn't shake off the feeling that even though nothing was happening to him at the moment, it didn't necessary mean that whatever it had been was over. It felt much more like the proverbial calm before the storm. Even the Force was telling him that. Instead of swirling calmly around him, it appeared agitated, anxious.

Would the Healers at the Temple be able to find out what it was? Would they be able to help him prevent it from ever returning? Or would things just get worse?

His worst fear was that his Master would find out. Qui-Gon, who was currently taking a nap in his room so he would be well rested once they reached their destination. Obi-Wan wished he could do this. Just shake off all of his worries and fears and have a good rest. Force knew it had been a long time since last time he slept well.

And though Obi-Wan tried with all his might to release his fears and worry into the Force, a small part of them remained, causing him more distress than he had ever experienced before.

What was going to happen to him?

* * *

><p>It had been two day since his last blackout.<p>

Slowly Obi-Wan was starting to feel free again. The tension in his shoulders lessened, the constant headache vanished and the pressure in his chest ceased. The fear to suffer another blackout had somewhat retreated to the back of his mind, to a shielded box he would never open again if he could help it.

He hadn't realized how much those incidents, as he started to call them, had got him down. This morning, a young M'Bardian representative was joking around and Obi-Wan was able to smile. It felt so strange to smile freely, like he hadn't done it in a long time.

'Force, was I really acting so withdrawn for the last few days?'

That moment he had decided to never let something like this get to him so much. He was a Jedi, strong in the Living Force. He would live in the moment rather than prepare himself for what might happen in the future.

These last few days had been bad enough; he didn't need a repeat of them.

At the moment Obi-Wan was sitting in the meeting room, his Master sitting to his right. The normal seating had been changed as instead of the long table standing in the middle of the room, three long tables formed a triangle. At the base was the shorter table, where Qui-Gon and his apprentice were sitting with the governmental representatives sitting to their left and civil representatives sitting to their right.

Their visits to several of the prisons had been enlightening. The jails were safe, well, or as safe as a jail full of highly aggressive and dangerous criminals could ever be. The population was safe, the chances of an outbreak were minimal.

Now they only had to tell this the civil representatives.

Things had become heated immediately after Master Qui-Gon Jinn had opened the meeting. The civil representatives were mistrusting the Jedi's evaluation. They were, after all, sent by the Council, who had been mandated by the M'Bardian government. In their opinion, it was all a farce, a blasphemous lie to ensure the government's power.

To say the meeting had started rocky would be an understatement.

It had taken them several hours until, finally, the civil representatives agreed to think over a new catalogue of laws and regulations to ensure their safety.

Obi-Wan sighed inwardly and let his gaze wander aimlessly around. He knew he wasn't supposed to space out like this, but for the life of him, he couldn't concentrate. It wasn't that he didn't like diplomatic missions. No, far from it. Formulating laws was something like a secret hobby to him. It was about finding a compromise, finding the right words to express what was desired. One needed to be witty, cunning. Each diplomatic mission was a challenge and Obi-Wan just wasn't the type to shirk from them.

Suddenly the young Padawan felt the need to swallow. His throat was strangely dry and scratchy, as if he was suffering from a serious cold. Obi-Wan gulped painfully, but still the uncomfortable feeling remained. A cup of steaming hot, lightly sugared tea would be nice. Perhaps it might put his throat at ease.

Wearily, the young apprentice leaned back into the cushioned chair. He felt weak, a little cold even. Perhaps his first thought of suffering from a cold was true. He surely felt like it. The coldness started to spread further through his body, sending shivers up and down his back.

Slowly but surely his hands, closely followed by his arms were starting to tremble. Concern clouded Obi-Wan's mind. Yes, he was feeling cold, but not cold enough for him to be unable to suppress the shaking of his limbs. As his eyes were still staring at his hands, folded in his lap, still shaking badly, when the shaking spread further.

It was unnoticeable at first. A small twitch of his lower lip here, a jerk of his upper lip there. But it didn't stay like this. Sooner than Obi-Wan was able to realize, his lips were trembling badly and suddenly the need to sob was unbearable, as waves of despair and desperation crashed over him.

The young man's eyes widened in horror. He had just barely been able to suppress the sob that had threatened to escape his throat. What was wrong with him? Why was he suddenly feeling the need to cry? In the middle of a meeting? Without any reason? What the Force?!

Shakily sucking in a bit of breath, Obi-Wan squinted his eyes shortly. He needed to get out of here. The meeting had to wait. If he stayed now, he couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't just breakdown moments later. No, the safest thing to do was to just leave and return to his quarters. Even though his Master surely would see things in a different way.

With a forced smile on his lips and a tentative nod, the young Padawan raised from his chair and excused himself. He could feel the questioning stares and worried gazes following his retreating back. But Obi-Wan didn't care. He was barely able to hold the tears at bay, not to speak of the unbearable need to sob.

Without looking back, Obi-Wan fled to his room.

* * *

><p>It was enough.<p>

With levelled but determined steps, Qui-Gon strode through the seemingly endless corridors. The meeting had just ended, the civil representatives were on their ways back home, while the governmental representatives had decided to remain at the government building and prepare themselves for the press conference, which would be held soon.

Normally Qui-Gon would have stayed with them, trying to help the representatives to formulate an adequate speech and to figure out how to approach the topic, but this time he decided against it. Not only were they able to do this on their own, but the Master also had another, more pressing issue at hand.

His Padawan. Who had all but fled from the meeting mere hours ago.

Qui-Gon was barely able to contain the exasperated shaking of the head. Obi-Wan had excused himself with a lightly wavering voice and something akin to desperation in his bright blue eyes. Though the younger man had hid it well, which was the only reason the representatives weren't concerned or affronted by his abrupt departure, his Master had noticed it immediately.

Ever since they had arrived at M'Bardi, his apprentice had been behaving strangely. Well, no, that wasn't correct, Qui-Gon reminded himself. Obi-Wan had acted out of character since he had returned from his mission on Alderaan. Had something happened during this seven-days-trip? But what could it have been? Qui-Gon knew what the mission was about. It was more than improbable that whatever caused his Padawan to act so strange was connected with this trip.

Still something was wrong. Obi-Wan was a very open-minded, always attentive, bright, happy and especially witty young man. He was outgoing, enjoyed spending time with other people, expanding his knowledge and forming deep friendships with whoever crossed the young man's path.

But here on M'Bardi, Obi-Wan was acting totally different. He barely smiled, he often sat in a corner alone and quiet, he didn't speak very much and looked as if his mind was far away. Qui-Gon had decided he needed to have a word with the young man as soon as the third day had passed and Obi-Wan was still acting out of character.

Only speaking to his apprentice proved to be more difficult than he had expected. Qui-Gon didn't want to address the subject in the public. It would only pressure the young man too much and would set a bad example on him. So, naturally, the Master had decided to speak with his Padawan in the solitude and safety of their quarters.

But even that had been impossible. Each time Qui-Gon was waiting for him, Obi-Wan simply wasn't there. The young man would disappear after their meal had been served in the cantina, only returning hours later, stumbling into their quarters and vanishing into his room. And the few times Obi-Wan had been in their apartment when his Master returned, the young man was lying in his bed, dead to world due to a heavy slumber.

So Qui-Gon had the topic let rest aside. But not this time. He had had faith in his Padawan that he could handle whatever ailed him on his own. Obi-Wan was an adult, after all. It was better to let him try figure out his problem by himself. But now after ten days on M'Bardi and still no improvement, Force, change for the worse was more fitting, the Master decided to step in.

Obi-Wan was not only endangering his own safety and well-being, he was also compromising the success of their mission and the reputation of the whole Order. It was high time for Qui-Gon to have a word with his Padawan.

With newfound determination and an intent in mind, the Master straightened himself up and mentally prepared himself for the unpleasant talk that was surely to come. Absentmindedly he palmed the door to their quarters open and stepped in, all about to call for the young man to come to the common room, when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.

The door closed behind him with a lightly hissing sound, but Qui-Gon didn't realize, too caught up in sight before him.

There, on the couch in front of him, was lying his wayward apprentice, his face hidden in his trembling hands, his scrawny shoulders slumped and shaking, sobbing and crying for all that was worth it.

Qui-Gon barely could suppress the urge to blink. The sight was just too surreal. His Padawan, the one who showed strength and calm even in the most desperate situations, was lying on their couch, crying like small, distraught child. So much for talking with Obi-Wan about his problems.

Carefully, the elder man walked over to the trembling form of his apprentice and sighed. Yes, he was worried, very much that is. He probably should break his Padawan free from whatever had caught his mind and demand an answer as to what the Force was going on here, but Qui-Gon couldn't. Shaking Obi-Wan now would perhaps break the spell, but whether it was for the best of the young remained to be seen. The chances that his obviously traumatized mind couldn't take the sudden confrontation with reality were much too high to even risk it.

With a low sigh on his lips, Qui-Gon scoop the young man up in his arms and made his way to Obi-Wan's room. That his Padawan was just continuing with his crying and sobbing only proved to his Master how far gone his mind must have been. In a coherent state of mind, Obi-Wan would never have let his Master carry him, much less would he snuggle deeper into his chest.

This was all very disturbing to Qui-Gon. Obviously, his Padawan's problems were much more crucial than he had imagined them before. That settled one thing. As soon as they were alone on the ship back to the Temple, Qui-Gon would speak with the young man, what caused to make him act like that. The Master needed answers and he needed them soon. Otherwise, he would have to take drastic measures to ease his worry.

In Obi-Wan's room, Qui-Gon laid the snivelling form of his Padawan onto the bed and covered him neatly with a soft blanket. He didn't bother with undressing the young man for the night. It wasn't as if the tunics were uncomfortable. But most important of all was that Obi-Wan would probably never forgive his Master and especially not himself, if Qui-Gon changed him now.

With careful movements, the Master brought his fingers to Obi-Wan's temples, applied a small amount of pressure to them and then let himself sink slightly into the Force.

He saw what he had expected. The young man's mind was completely shut down, high shields surrounding them, making it very difficult for his Master to access their training bond. Qui-Gon could feel the strange presence, the one he had felt the first time when his Padawan had collapsed during his meditation, feeling it looming over Obi-Wan's mind.

Resigned, Qui-Gon left his Padawan's mind. There wasn't much he could do. True, he could break through the shields, tearing them apart forcefully and trying to free his apprentice of this strange signature, but at what costs? Obi-Wan's mind would surely be damaged as a result of this action. Damaged beyond repair if things went badly. No, forcing himself through the shields wasn't an option.

Instead, Qui-Gon applied a little more pressure on Obi-Wan's temples and sent the young man to a fitful sleep with a strong Force suggestion.

Looking at the prone form of his apprentice, Qui-Gon sighed and left the room quietly. He couldn't help but feel worried. Things concerning his Padawan's well-being were getting out of hand. He would need professional help and at best very soon. Otherwise, he didn't know whether he would be able to regain control over the situation again.

But what, if all help came too late?

That was something Qui-Gon didn't even want to think about.

* * *

><p>'Force, how embarrassing!'<p>

Obi-Wan sat in his room, his legs pulled up to his chest and his chin resting on his knees. His arms were wrapped firmly around his legs, pulling them even nearer to his body. He knew he was looking like a little child, but frankly, he didn't care.

Qui-Gon had seen him crying. His Master, the one whose judgment and respect mattered to Obi-Wan most, had seen him crying and sobbing on the couch. Like a small child having a mental breakdown. How could this have happened? How?

No, the better question was, how would he ever be able to look into his Master's eyes again? He couldn't, not after this embarrassing act.

He had always wanted Qui-Gon to respect him, to see and understand how important being a good Jedi meant to Obi-Wan. For his Master, Obi-Wan would do anything. He studied more than he normally would, he always tried to do what his Master told him to and he even chose some additional language courses to prove to Master Jinn how serious diplomacy was to him.

All in vain.

After yesterday's episode, what respect and pride there might have once been on Qui-Gon's side had surely vanished. All he would now see for the rest of their training, would always be the weak and pathetic form of his Padawan, crying like a baby. He must be embarrassed and feel more shame than he deserved to feel in a whole lifetime.

And all because of him.

Obi-Wan swallowed heavily and shortly closed his eyes. He would have to get a strong grip on his emotions. In a few minutes they were needed to attend the final press conference concerning the newly passed laws and regulations concerning the public's safety. Laws and regulations Obi-Wan knew nothing about. It wouldn't do him any good should he then act strangely and out of character, too. One time was more than enough. He didn't need to cause Master Jinn even more shame. Least in public.

With a low sigh, Obi-Wan got out of his bed gracefully and straightened himself up. There was just one thing he could do about this whole ordeal. He needed help, professional help.

But before he would be able to get this help, he needed to live through this mission without embarrassing his Master any further.

* * *

><p>It was over. Finally.<p>

The last meeting between the civil and governmental representatives had been a successful one, as had the final press conference. They had achieved an understanding, a compromise working for both sides. Qui-Gon couldn't have been more content. Not only had they fulfilled their mission exceptionally well, but they would also be able to leave immediately.

What meant that they weren't about to waste any more valuable time until they would return to Coruscant. Soon, so very soon would they be back at the Temple. Qui-Gon would be able to talk with the Council about his Padawan's strange behaviour and Obi-Wan wouldn't be able to evade a visit at the healers' ward any longer.

Finally.

With their quarters cleaned and tidied, their few things packed away and placed upon the ship and the final good-byes out of the way, nothing would postpone their departure anymore. Currently Qui-Gon was sitting in the pilot's chair in the cockpit, checking the controls and making sure everything was in order.

Finding everything to his satisfaction, Qui-Gon started the engine and let the ship take off. A few minutes of intense concentration and accurate manoeuvring later, the Master had lead the ship out of M'Bardi's orbit and into the endless vastness of the universe.

A few moment later, he set the autopilot to follow the coordinates to Coruscant. They would now have nearly two days of nothing to do but relaxing until they would reach their destination. A lot of time for the both of them to think, talk and meditate.

And they both needed talking. Ever since this last incident Obi-Wan had completely shut down. The young man's mental shields were firmly in place, hiding every single emotion and thought his Padawan had. The normally warm smile gracing his apprentice's face was replaced by stoic, emotionless mask a Master could only be proud of.

But Qui-Gon wasn't. This was Obi-Wan he was thinking about. His apprentice, his Padawan. The one whose safety and well-being were laying in his hands alone. Qui-Gon didn't want the young man to shut him out so rigorously. It wasn't in his character. The Master wanted his Padawan to open up to him, to tell him what was wrong, what was ailing him.

His apprentice needed help. Serious and quick help, that was.

Thank the Force, they would soon reach Coruscant. With the way things were going currently, Qui-Gon didn't know how much longer he would be able to remain so calm and composed. He was a Master, true, and he was supposed to be calm and collected at any time. But this was something special. The well-being of his beloved Padawan was concerned. What Master would he be if this left him all unconcerned?

A bad one. And if there was one thing Qui-Gon had sworn to himself that he would never be, then it was being a bad Master. He had once failed a Padawan of his and the consequences had been most devastating. He would never repeat this mistake again. No, his apprentice's well-being mattered more than being calm and collected.

But even with this comforting thought in mind, something dark and cold twisted his heart and thoughts.

What if he had waited too long?

* * *

><p>Force, what was happening now?<p>

Obi-Wan sat in the transport ship's smaller room, which was normally considered the Padawan's room. There was only a bed, a small nightstand with a lamp, a tiny cupboard and two doors, one leading to the bathroom and the other to the main room of the ship. It was dark, aside from the lamp's weak light. Strange, eerie shadows crept over the bare walls, creating a dark and uncomfortable atmosphere.

However, the young man noticed nothing of that. He was sitting on his small bed, one hand pressed firmly against his chest, the place where his heart was, the other gripping the bed sheets tightly. His breathing was erratic, uncontrolled. Sweat was pouring out of his body, covering his skin completely. Uncontrolled tremors and trembling wrecked his body and a loud, deafening tone resounded in his ears.

Slowly everything around him became blurry and immediately a feeling of dread and panic overtook his mind.

With a rash movement, Obi-Wan jumped off his bed, only to sway immediately and sink to the floor in a sloppy movement. His legs were trembling so much, they couldn't support his body's weight anymore. Lying on the cold floor, the young man realized how his senses and his grip onto reality slipped away from his hands.

He felt like screaming, like running. He wanted to tear his hair out and hide himself in a dark corner, wrapping his arms around his knees and burying his head into his robes. His heart felt like it was exploding and his mind was nothing more than a mess.

Too far gone, Obi-Wan didn't realize when the door to his room opened and his Master all but stumbled in. He couldn't see Master Jinn's face, couldn't see how his eyes widened and the worry slowly turned into fear.

Everything hurt. Sobs escaped his bluish lips and tremors wracked his already frail body. It hurt so much, he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted it to stop, to end immediately. He wanted to beg for someone to kill him, to end it, he wanted…

Suddenly everything was quiet. His heartbeat slowed down considerably, until it only beat sluggishly anymore and his breathing evened out. The feeling in his arms and legs started to vanish and soon his limbs became tremendously heavy. A strange, fuzzy feeling overtook his body, spreading from his heart to his fingers and toes.

He was content, so very content. And relaxed. And satisfied. The dull, grey colours before his eyes changed, became something different. Yellow, red, blue and a little later all kind of other colours added to the mix, until everything around him was immensely bright and colourful.

And everything was turning, swaying, dancing around him. Contours vanished, became blurred, causing the colours to blend together until everything around him was nothing more than a strange, swaying and dancing, colourful meadow.

Then suddenly everything became black.


	5. Chapter 5

**5. Chapter**

'Finally home. Thank the Force.'

Qui-Gon heaved a sigh and leaned back into the pilot seat. It took all his willpower not to stare at the controls with a stern, impatient gaze. Some more minutes and they would finally at the Temple. Minutes that would surely feel like hours.

For the last two days Obi-Wan had been lying in his bed, motionless and unconscious.

The Master closed his eyes and sighed, as he remembered wearily how the last two days had passed. He remembered how he was sitting in the pilot's seat, checking the controls and observing the changes as the ship jumped into hyperdrive. All had been well, or at least as well as things could have been.

He had just been on his way to his room to meditate, when he felt it. The feeling caused him to stop dead in his tracks and turn around quickly to his apprentice's room. Obi-Wan was suffering terribly. Qui-Gon could feel waves of fear, panic and sheer horror accumulating, until it finally was too much and everything came crashing down on the elder man through the training bond they shared.

Obi-Wan was suffering from a terrible panic attack.

Immediately Qui-Gon straightened his shoulders and rushed to his Padawan's room. It would have been too perfect should the travel back home to the Temple have been peaceful. He had hoped nothing would happen, but somehow the Force seemed to have other plans. With something that felt suspiciously like worry fighting its way to his heart, the Master reached his Padawan's door and palmed it open.

Whatever he might have expected, the sight that greeted him was none of it.

His young, blond haired apprentice was lying on the floor, his arms and legs widely sprawled and his head rolling from one side to the other. Qui-Gon didn't need the training bond that he and Obi-Wan shared to know how the young man felt. His apprentice's chest was rising and sinking hectically and erratically, his eyes were staring unseeingly at the ceiling, his lips trembled and the rest of his body was twitching and shaking lightly.

The sight broke Qui-Gon's heart and for an incredibly short moment, he felt the need to race to his apprentice and cradle his form into his arms. But just as soon as this need had appeared, the Master squashed it. He needed to focus and concentrate, getting overworked with worry wouldn't help him, nor Obi-Wan at all.

With cautious steps, the elder man approached the younger one wearily. Tentatively Qui-Gon extended his arm and was about to put a finger at Obi-Wan's temple and force him to sleep, when suddenly things changed. Instead of feeling fear and panic through the bond, the Master could feel how a wave of contentedness and calmness was washing over him.

Qui-Gon watched with a little bit of worry shining in his eyes how his apprentice suddenly became still, a giddily happy smile on his lips. The trembling and shaking stopped, instead his limbs fell limp and his eyes slowly closed. The last the Master felt was how Obi-Wan's mind was overflowing with weird images and sensations, before it was firmly shut down.

After a short moment of stunned silence, Qui-Gon had gathered his now unconscious apprentice into his arms and brought him to his bed. Ever since then, Obi-Wan had been lying in his bed in this exact position. Only the shallow breaths he took indicated that he was indeed still alive.

Now that the ship was approaching the Temple fast and would soon reach it, Qui-Gon felt the tendril of worry that had captivated his heart and mind growing rapidly. At first the Master had tried to squash it, but the more time passed and his Padawan's condition remained unchanged, the more the elder man felt himself unable to not worry for the younger man.

Anxiety overtook him, as if cold hands were squeezing his heart. Obi-Wan had been acting weird for quite some time now. Feeling weak, being vacant, having blackouts and suffering from panic attacks should have warned Qui-Gon. But instead of asking his apprentice what was wrong, instead of prying for information, the Master had accepted the Padawan's unwillingness to share his thoughts and had waited for Obi-Wan to come to him when the young man felt ready to do so.

Qui-Gon felt how the strange coldness spread further through his body, reached his throat and made it difficult to breath. Had he just been more adamant, maybe he could have delayed the process. But he hadn't and now that the damage was done, there was nothing he could do to undo it.

Taking a deep breath, the elder man tried to let go of the dark thoughts occupying his mind. Obi-Wan wasn't gone for good yet. True, he couldn't reach the young man's mind and he was unable to wake him up, but nevertheless his Padawan was still alive. There was still hope for him. If Qui-Gon succumbed to despair now, he would only make things worse, if not fatal for his apprentice.

His hand reached for the commlink unceremoniously. With quick movements of his hands the commline to the Temple was open and a young man, probably a Padawan who had been grounded, was asking him what he needed.

"Master Jinn speaking. My Padawan and I will soon reach the Temple. I request a Healer team to be present when we arrive there. Padawan Kenobi is in serious need of immediate medical attention. Have someone with a stretcher there and prepare a room for him in the Healers' ward."

As soon as the young man had indicated he had understood the Master, Qui-Gon shut the commline off and prepared the ship for the landing. The coordinates for the landing area had just been sent to him, as was the notice for him and his Padawan to attend a Council meeting as soon as they had landed.

The landing was a little bit more uncontrolled and rash than normally. With the thought of his still unconscious Padawan on his mind, the Master found that he didn't really care for the proper landing protocol at the moment. He had already wasted too much time on M'Bardi, he didn't need to unnecessarily waste anymore with sticking to the protocol.

With a swift movement of his hand, Qui-Gon palmed the door of the ship open and stepped out into the bright sunlight. As soon as he had full contact with the floor, a team of Healers advanced to him with quick steps. He didn't need to say anything, just stepped aside, let them enter the ship and showed them the way to Obi-Wan's room.

The tall Mon Calamari took a quick glance at the young apprentice, before his silvery eyes darkened with worry and he ordered the other Healers to place the Padawan on the stretcher and hurry him to the Healers' ward. While the other four Healers did their work and rushed towards the Temple, Healer Shant walked briskly next to Qui-Gon and listened intently to what the Master could tell him about Obi-Wan's state.

In the large room where the elevators were positioned and their paths were about to be separated, the two Jedi stopped. Qui-Gon, his eyes giving away the worry he felt, tried to force his body into responding to his command. When he opened his mouth to tell Healer Shant what he considered to be the most important thought, the Master couldn't fully repress the slight trembling of his voice.

"I-I think he might suffer from a brain damage." Swallowing heavily, Qui-Gon folded his hands together to prevent them from shaking. "Something is wrong with his mind. It changed, I can't access it anymore. And not only that. Those blackouts, his memory loss, his acting out of character. I think something happened to his mind and caused grave damage there. Please, Healer Shant, make sure you check it for something wrong."

The tall Mon Calamari nodded in understanding, a serious and worried look in his silvery eyes. With a bow of goodbye, the Healer hurried down the corridor to the left, on his way to the Healers' ward where Obi-Wan's prone form was waiting for him.

In the elevator, Qui-Gon tried desperately to squash the worry that was eating away his sanity. It went against everything he believed in and held dearly to leave his injured and sick Padawan's side, only to attend a Council meeting. Obi-Wan was ill, probably fighting for his life. It was his task as a Master to be at his side and guide him through it.

But a Council meeting was a serious matter. And though he had defied the Council's wishes and sometimes even orders on a regular basis, he just couldn't bring himself to just skip the meeting. Perhaps, if he told them what they wanted to know, he would be allowed to leave sooner than normally.

With that thought in mind, Qui-Gon straightened shoulders, let go of his worry and palmed the door to the Council room open.

* * *

><p>"Ah, Master Jinn, expect you we did."<p>

Qui-Gon kept his head bowed, stepped further into the room and bowed to the Council. Once he stood in the centre of the room, the Master faced the semi-circle of Council members. All twelve Masters were looking expressionlessly at him. There was no doubt that they wondered why he was standing there alone, but only one Master voiced the question.

"Where is your Padawan, Master Jinn? You were sent on this mission together."

Mace Windu's eyebrow rose in question and his eyes held a suspicious glimmer. Inwardly Qui-Gon scoffed. Of course, from all things possible Mace would always think his Padawan had done something stupid or even went against the codex. It had happened before on their mission on Melida/Daan. Obi-Wan had abandoned the Order, a feat Mace wouldn't forget so soon. But still, the way the Korun Master acted, was just paranoid. This time, it really wasn't Obi-Wan's fault.

Forcing the thoughts into the back of his mind, Qui-Gon tried to look as calm and composed as was expected from a Master.

"Obi-Wan is in the healers' ward. He fell ill on our mission and is now requiring serious medical treatment."

The suspicion left Master Windu's eyes, but still his face remained emotionless. The other Masters just nodded at that and accepted Qui-Gon's explanation. Well, what else could they do? But still, there was one Master who, despite all his power and age, looked genuinely worried. Master Yoda's inquisitive green eyes fixated on Qui-Gon, but he refrained from speaking his thoughts out loud.

"About your mission you should tell us, Master Jinn, don't you think, hmm? Still don't know we do, what wanted you to do, they did."

Qui-Gon nodded and smiled lightly. Normally the Council wanted full and exact information what the missions were about. It was, after all, the only way to ensure that the Jedi weren't sent on suicide missions and that helping those who requested their attendance truly were the ones who needed their help.

But in this special case, they had made an exception. The M'Bardian head of government Sha'on Ka and Council member Plo Koon were good friends, after all. Koon had helped the M'Bardians to rebuild the democracy after a foreign race had tried to take over the resourceful planet. Due to the great amount of time Koon had spent on M'Bardi, a deep friendship had developed between the Jedi and the M'Bardian. When Sha'on Ka had requested the Jedi to help him with an important matter, the Council believed him and hadn't asked for further information.

Plo Koon had wanted to go at first, but when Sha'on Ka told him he needed someone skilled in the art of mediation, he had resigned on his own accord. Koon was more of a protector instead of a mediator. So after some thinking, Koon suggested to the Council they send Qui-Gon and his Padawan.

"The M'Bardian head of government needed our help in a matter of security. As you surely know, the M'Bardian government decided to build several new prisons on the uninhabited islands. They receive payment for taking in criminals who can't be held on other planets because there is no space for them. Those agreements make their economy flourish."

The Master sighed and shook his head lightly.

"Though it helps their economy, the M'Bardian population was in a state of uproar. They feared the security of the prisons was lacking and an outbreak would happen in the near future. Padawan Kenobi and I were called to check the security systems and then, should we deem them safe enough, help them pass a new law to guarantee their intact condition. But seeing as the system was perfectly in order, it didn't take us long to come up with a set of laws acceptable for both sides."

As Qui-Gon ended his very short mission report, he could see the other Masters nod in appreciation. Depa Billaba, the Chalactanian Master, turned her head towards Plo Koon and asked why the M'Bardian government would do such a thing as invite criminals to their planet. Obviously she was unaware of the special M'Bardian geology. Koon smiled a little and launched himself into a detail description, closely followed by a long and tiring discussion about the advantages and disadvantages of agreeing to take in foreign criminals.

In his place in front of the semicircle, Qui-Gon tuned out what was going on around him. He should have expected that such a thing would happen, but honestly, he had dearly hoped it wouldn't. Though the discussion was ethical and philosophical, it was just plainly meaningless. Instead of standing there and listen to them arguing, he should have been on his way to his apprentice, making sure the young man was all right. But, well, this was the Council. To speak frankly, they didn't have a lot to do. Most of them didn't have a Padawan, only some taught Initiates and Younglings and even fewer went on missions. Arguing was the most exciting thing they could do to pass their time.

Something that was supposed to be soft chuckle, even though because of the lack of the proper vocal chords coming out a little harsher than wished for, startled the entire room and caused Qui-Gon to break free from his musing. Yoda, the wise, diminutive Master, was looking at Qui-Gon with a soft look in his eyes, showing understanding and compassion.

"Your mind, elsewhere it is, isn't it? Your thoughts with your apprentice they are, hmm, Qui-Gon?"

Said Master couldn't help but gulp lightly. He didn't know how the green Master did it, but Yoda always made him feel like the small, fearful Initiate he once had been. Regaining his senses, Qui-Gon realized he had been asked two questions.

"Yes, Master.", the words came out barely more audible than a whisper. "He was in a very bad condition when we arrived. I would just want to know how he is."

The diminutive Master hummed in consideration, his green eyes cast to the floor between them. All eyes were on him, as none of the other Council members dared to interrupt his train of thoughts. Finally, after what felt like eternity, Yoda looked up and gazed directly into Qui-Gon's eyes.

"Understandable that is. If injured a Padawan is, by his side his Master's place is. Go, Qui-Gon. Nothing more there is we have to discuss with you."

With a thankful look on his face, Qui-Gon nodded his understanding and left, never seeing the fond, though a little bit worried look on the small Master's and his friends' faces.

* * *

><p>As soon as Qui-Gon entered one of the single rooms in the Healers' ward, his gaze immediately searched for its habitant. It didn't take him long to find him. After all, there wasn't too much inside the room. A single bed, a small nightstand, a cupboard in the far corner, a round table and two chairs. The entire furnishing was held in the cleanest shades of white, only to sometimes be interrupted by spots of silver and light grey. It created a strange cold and dull atmosphere, causing the Master's muscles to tense and a bad feeling to wash over him.<p>

When Qui-Gon's glance found the young man lying on the hospital bed, he couldn't help but gulp. His apprentice looked awful, there was nearly no difference between the perfectly white sheets and the young man's skin colour, so deathly pale was he.

Carefully, though it wouldn't have been needed as Obi-Wan was in a coma-like state, Qui-Gon approached the bed and sat down on the chair next to it. For a few moments all the Master did was to take in his Padawan's state of health. Not only was his apprentice deathly pale, his breathing was very shallow, his chest barely rising and sinking. He looked so fragile it was breaking the elder man's heart.

Unconsciously, Qui-Gon's hand reached for Obi-Wan's. The contact made the Master shiver. The young man's hand was ice cold, barely feeling alive. A lump formed in the elder man's throat, causing him difficulties to breath.

He knew he shouldn't worry too much. It was nothing a Jedi should do. After all, he served the Living Force. It wasn't like Qui-Gon to be wary of the future. No, he was living in here and then, he was not supposed to worry about what might happen, nor was he to fear what path the future would take. His only stability should be the Force and the knowledge that whatever the Force wanted to happen, would happen.

But how could he not worry for him? Obi-Wan was his Padawan, entrusted to Qui-Gon so that the Master could care for him, finish his education and teach him how to be a great and powerful Jedi in the future. The young man was his responsibility, Obi-Wan's farewell laying in Qui-Gon's hands. It would be nothing else but cruel, should his bad state of health not concern and worry the Master in the slightest.

And even though Qui-Gon knew he should have faith in the Force, trust it to lead his Padawan safely through this difficult time, he couldn't help the worried and somewhat even fearful thoughts that quelled in his mind. What, if Obi-Wan was indeed seriously ill? What, if there was no way to help him? This was something he, a Master, knew he couldn't take. Years ago had he already lost a Padawan. Losing another would break him.

Qui-Gon was so lost in his oppressing thoughts, he barely noticed the presence of another person entering Obi-Wan's room. When a small hand descended upon his shoulder and squeezed it softly, the Master couldn't help but smile a little. He didn't need to turn around and see for himself, nor did he have to check the Force presence to know who it was.

"Qui-Gon, what are you doing here? You aren't sick or injured, are you?"

The feminine voice was soft and imploring, though laced with a little with barely hidden concern for his person. The soft pressure on his shoulder intensified and Qui-Gon could literally feel how the other person delved deeper into the Force to make sure he was alright. This little act alone warmed his heart and soothed some of his worries.

"No, Tahl, I'm fine. I just came here to visit someone."

Turning around lightly in his chair, though never letting go of his apprentice's cold hand, Qui-Gon looked at Tahl intently. And though he knew he shouldn't be surprised by this anymore, nor should he dwell on the particular thought at all, the elder man couldn't help himself but be fascinated by her beauty.

Her long, night black hair cascaded down her back, forming a nice contrast on her white robes. Green eyes with golden stripes watched him unseeingly. With a fond smile Qui-Gon noticed how her dark eye-brows furrowed together in wonder and her lips formed something akin to a pout.

Tahl blinked and titled her head a little to the side, fixing her eyes on somewhere over his left shoulder.

"You know, if you wanted to see her, this is the wrong room. Hers is further down the corridor."

Qui-Gon shook his head in negation. It was a habit he couldn't get himself rid of, even though he knew Tahl couldn't see it. Taking his focus back to the prone figure on the hospital bed, the Master couldn't suppress the sigh that left his mouth.

"I'm here for Obi-Wan, Tahl."

This wasn't what Tahl had obviously expected. She blinked a few times, her eyes still fixed onto where she thought Qui-Gon's head had to be. Qui-Gon felt how she delved deeper into the Force, firmed her grip on it and then traced the room. For a few times he could feel her hesitate.

"Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan is here? Where? I can't trace him." As soon as the words had left her mouth, Tahl stopped dead in her tracks, her blind eyes fixed onto Obi-Wan's prone figure. "No, _that_ is Obi-Wan? How? I can barely detect his signature…"

Again, a sigh escaped Qui-Gon's lips and he closed his eyes warily. He felt it, too. Hadn't it been for his eyes and his absolute knowledge that this was indeed Obi-Wan, he would have never expected the young man lying in the bed to be his Padawan. He couldn't blame Tahl for her disbelieve. After all, she relied on the Force presence alone.

"He has been like this ever since we boarded the ship and started our travel back to the Temple. Obi-Wan was alone in his room, suddenly suffering from a panic attack. I tried to get to him, but before I could reach him, his mind shut down."

Qui-Gon gulped lightly, his now open eyes fixed firmly onto his Padawan's face. The Master's thumb stroked careful circles over Obi-Wan's cold hand. He never wished to feel like that again. Being shut down forcefully from one's Padawan was a painful thing.

"I tried to reach him through the bond, but I couldn't. It's as if a huge wall was separating us."

His voice sounded pained, but still Tahl said nothing, too deep was she lost in thought. Something was off here. Not only was the boy's mind and his signature different, no, it was like a shadow covered them. Obi-Wan's signature was there, though barely noticeable under the thick layers of this other, strange presence.

And that was what made her think.

Sometimes a person's mind would change. Severe, traumatic experiences, like the death of a loved one, attacks and molestations could cause changes in the way one's mind worked. For the Jedi, though, there were other possibilities. Some Younglings' minds would shut down after they experienced a rather nasty vision and mind attacks from other Jedi; as rare as they may be, they could cause the same damage, too. However the problem was that Obi-Wan wasn't a Youngling. He could deal with a vision, nor had he experienced a trauma in any kind and nor had he been attacked by a fellow Jedi.

There was just no reason as to why his mind would shield itself from the rest of the world.

Again Tahl delved deeper into the Force. Tentatively, she mentally reached again for the unconscious young man on the hospital bed. With soft strokes the Noorian Master brushed against the mental shields and the strange signature which covered Obi-Wan's.

A dark eye-brow furrowed in thought and a small frown appeared on her forehead. Something drew her to this foreign presence. It was as if she knew it by heart, but had lost sight of it for a long time. Like an old friend, familiar and welcome, but still distanced and different. But how could this be? There was no one who she had lost sight of years ago. No one she had been waiting for to return to her. No one but… oh…

Green eyes widened a bit as a look of incredulity washed over her face. With a flutter of her heart, Tahl turned around and was about to open her mouth and call for Qui-Gon, when suddenly the door to the room his open and two people entered.

Tahl's thought was immediately forgotten.

Two female, dark skinned Jedi had entered the small room, making it now painfully clear as to why having a single room for oneself wasn't only full of advantages. Thanks to them, moving was barely possible in the currently severely stuffed room. Both women had a serene look on their faces, their indigo eyes gracing the two Masters standing at the bed, before they finally came to a halt at Obi-Wan's prone figure.

A soft smile found its way to Qui-Gon's lips despite everything and with a swift movement of his hands he indicated for the two cousins to come near.

"Master Gallia, Knight Allie, I didn't expect to meet you here."

Both Masters smiled a little at the obvious surprise lacing his voice and inclined their heads in greeting. For someone who didn't know them it would have been difficult to tell these two apart. They harboured an astounding resemblance due to sharing the same blood. Stass Allie, the younger and a little smaller one of the two Jedi was carefully stepping forward, her indigo eyes never leaving the motionless form of Qui-Gon's Padawan, while Adi Gallia, a Master and a Council member stayed in the background.

A soft sigh escaped the young Tholothian Knight as she stepped between Qui-Gon and Tahl.

"Oh my, the poor one, he really got it bad."

The young woman's hands hovered lightly over Obi-Wan's barely moving chest, making soft and slow circling motions. A look of deep concentration found its way to her face, her brows furrowed in thought and her eyes narrowed.

For a few minutes, nothing happened. While Stass was obviously examining Obi-Wan, the three remaining Masters watched her work. It was a difficult task for Qui-Gon. He knew that keeping silent and unmoving was important, so that the young Knight wouldn't lose her concentration, but still he found it difficult. He had waited so long, slowly he was losing his patience.

And as if Adi had felt his uneasiness and his need to do something, she took her gaze from her cousin and looked at the elder man instead, a soft smile on her lips.

"The Council sent us, Qui-Gon." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper, barely audibly in the stuffed room. "We were all very concerned about your Padawan. The way you acted only indicated that something was seriously off with him."

After a few moments, her gaze left Qui-Gon's eyes and fell upon the pale and unconscious form of Obi-Wan. With a sad shaking of her head, Adi returned to look at the elder Master. "Not that I can't understand the way you acted. Anyways, the Council decided to check up on your Padawan and find out what is ailing him."

Her eyes took a sad look and her shoulders tensed. Qui-Gon could feel how she was agonizing over something, something he surely wouldn't like to hear.

"Stass was sent to find out what your Padawan is suffering from. She has been training her medical abilities a lot during the last three years, improving them to a point where the other healers can't teach her anything new anymore. That is why the Council decided she would be the one to guarantee your apprentice's recovery. This will be her last test to reach her full title as a healer."

Her hands indicated they should stand up and come closer to her. Grudgingly Qui-Gon complied. It didn't feel right to let go of his Padawan's cold hand, to leave Obi-Wan behind. But even though he didn't want to, the elder man let go and made his way towards the Tholothian Master.

"I have to ask you to leave. Stass will need all her concentration to fulfil her task. With you standing in the background, she would only at some point lose her focus. So, please, leave the room and return to your quarters."

Qui-Gon, not at all agreeing with her decision, was about to open his mouth when the dark skinned Jedi motioned for him to keep quiet, a soft smile on her lips.

"Please, Qui-Gon, let Stass do her work. It will only benefit your Padawan if she can work to the best of her abilities. I can promise you, she will do everything in her might to heal him."

Bowing his head in shame at his unusual behaviour, Qui-Gon nodded his understanding and turned to leave the room. After a last look at his Padawan, the elder man turned around completely, Tahl trailing quietly behind him like a shadow, offering her silent support. They had just left Obi-Wan's room, when Adi Gallia's melodious voice called for them.

"Get some rest, Qui-Gon, you look as if you dearly need it. I promise you, should your Padawan's condition change, be it for the better or worse, I will comm you immediately."

Silently asking Tahl through the Force to make sure that Qui-Gon didn't stay up fretting all the night, the Tholothian Master smiled reassuringly at them.

"Have faith, Qui-Gon. Everything will work out like it's supposed to be."

* * *

><p>In the dim light of the common room Tahl closed her eyes in relaxation, leaning further into the comfortable couch and letting the warmth of the tea cup warm her body. After Adi had so nicely thrown them out of Obi-Wan's room, the two Masters had made their way to Qui-Gon's quarters in silence.<p>

It wasn't an uncomfortable and strained silence, but one of two people who knew of the other's thoughts and problems and didn't have to voice them to make the other understand.

Tahl was only all too familiar with Qui-Gon's dilemma. She knew first-hand how much the elder Master cared for the young boy, now already a young man. At first she found it ironic, seeing as the elder man had been absolutely unwilling to take Obi-Wan as his apprentice, a matter he and Tahl had often very harshly argued about. For the first year, Qui-Gon had been nothing more than a cold and distanced Master towards the poor young boy.

The tension between those two had been so bad that Tahl had pondered the thought to ask Master Yoda to assign the boy a new Master. Obi-Wan had been suffering greatly because of his Master's behaviour and was at the point of self-destruction just to please him, when it had happened.

While she had been held captive during her diplomatic mission on Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had been sent to her rescue. It was during that hard time that her dear friend noticed, how utter devoted, loyal and self-sacrificing his Padawan was. And not because his Master had ordered him to, but because the young boy felt like it was what the elder man deserved.

During the days Tahl had laid in the hospital bed, the healers frantically trying to rescue her sight, Qui-Gon had gone through a change of heart. Meditating for hours he suddenly realized what Obi-Wan had been doing for him for the last two years.

Ever since then, things had changed. Though gradually at first, the Master had opened up more and more to his Padawan, until finally one and a half years later, there seemed to be nothing the one didn't know about the other. The two shared literally everything between them, a trait soon very well-known through the Temple.

Their teamwork was held in high regards by the Council members. None of them knew why, but all of them approved that this change had been for the better. And though Tahl shared this sentiment, she couldn't shake of the feeling of dread and foreboding lurking in her heart.

Being close to one's Padawan was good, but being too close was a bad thing. Tahl had to find out the hard way.

Now, with Obi-Wan lying death-like in the healers' ward, Tahl knew by heart what her dear friend was suffering through. The feeling of dread at the mere thought should something go wrong, the building pressure in one's heart, making breathing so painful, the constant self-conscious feelings, whispering to one's mind that it was one's own fault, that one had failed.

Those weren't thoughts, nor emotions appropriate for a Master, but only all too natural. There wasn't much one could do against them. Only the constant presence of a good and understanding friend would help, even if only a little.

At that time, it had been Qui-Gon to help her through this difficult time of her life, now it would be Tahl, repaying her debt to him.

Sipping her still hot tea, Tahl let the soft, warm sensation ease her overly active senses.

When they had left the healers' ward, Qui-Gon had started a slow, measured path through the Temple halls and corridors. Not many people where there, most of the time the two of them would be alone. The elder man was walking thoughtlessly, not caring and probably not even knowing where his feet were carrying him to automatically.

Tahl could do nothing more than follow him, making sure he didn't end up somewhere wrong.

She didn't know how much time they spent just walking slowly through the Temple, though it felt like eternity. The two of them walked silently, both taking comfort from the other's presence. Knowing there was someone there, was all they needed.

Finally, after what could have been hours, Qui-Gon's feet brought him to his quarters. While Tahl made her way to the small kitchen and expectedly prepared a pot of tea, her friend lit the light in the common room and took a seat.

They talked about everything, how the mission was, what exactly had happened to Obi-Wan and what might have been wrong with him and finally how Qui-Gon felt. They talked, just to fill the silence of the quarters with some sounds, trying to reassure Qui-Gon's sub-consciousness that he wasn't alone, that indeed someone was there.

When there was nothing more to talk about, they just sat there in silence, sipping their tea, taking comfort from the other's presence and warmth. Unconsciously Qui-Gon had wrapped an arm around Tahl's shoulder, drawing her closer until her head rested upon his shoulder, forming a nice pillow for him.

They sat like this for what seemed like eternity, listening to the other's breathing and enjoying the warmth of the other's body. Tahl's eyes started to feel heavy and were dropping close often, when a yawn escaped her lips. Blinking a little in confusion, the Noorian Master turned her head and looked at Qui-Gon's face.

Her dear friend was nearly already asleep, his eyes firmly closed, his breathing even and soft puffs of warm breath fanning her neck.

The sight amused her incredibly, but still she had to destroy it. Carefully, as not to wake him from his sleep completely, Tahl Force-suggested her tired friend that he should go to bed. The plea was met by a discontent grumble and a frown on her friend's face, but still, though grudgingly, Qui-Gon finally made his way to his bed.

Though, not before he had Tahl promise, she would stay here for the night.

With a tired sigh, Tahl leaned further back into the comfortable couch, her eyes still closed and the warm cup of tea in her hands. A soft smile was on her lips, as she remembered how Qui-Gon had made her give him that promise.

'Thank the Force I already alerted Bant I would not return to our quarters tonight.'

Explaining it now would have really been uncomfortable.

* * *

><p>Stass Allie shook her head, her indigo eyes wide with worry.<p>

Never in her life had she come across something like this. When she first had entered the room together with her cousin Adi, her gaze had immediately searched for the prone figure on the bed. She hadn't known what to expect. The Council's information had been more than vague and they hadn't come across a healer to ask for more precise ones.

The sight hadn't been a pretty one, but Stass was a healer to the core and wouldn't get scared or disgusted by things easily. Though, with well practice, the young Tholothian Knight walked over to the young Padawan, delved into the Force and tried to find out what was wrong.

She must have taken more time than she expected to. Because as she retreated from her Force trance-like state, only Obi-Wan and her cousin were still in the room, sitting on one of the chairs, reading a report of sorts. At some point, Qui-Gon Jinn and Tahl must have left. Well, probably more like had been forced to leave by Adi.

With a sigh, Stass straightened up and turned around. She had a suspicion now, but she still needed proof to make sure what was wrong with the young Padawan. Fetching the necessary utensils, the young Tholothian Knight prepared everything and started the next round of her examinations, her cousin's eyes following her every movement.

Two hours later, Stass waited patiently for the results of her tests. Finally the tinkle chimed. With careful movements, she grabbed the results and looked at them. What she saw, made her question her eyes and reread the whole report again. But still, even after blinking and rereading the report, it didn't change.

Not knowing what else to do, Stass called for her cousin. Her heart was beating erratically and her breathing was troubled. A fine layer of sweat appeared on her skin, making her shiver. She was nervous, the young Jedi realized, but as to why she didn't know. After all, her suspicion had been proven right. She should have nothing to fear.

Extending her hand for Adi to grab the small report, Stass waited impatiently for her cousin to react. But when the elder Tholothian just kept on rereading the information given to her, the younger one couldn't take it anymore and whispered.

"We have to tell the Council, don't we? This… this is bad, _no_, strange."

The Tholothian Master only nodded in affirmation. Slowly she closed her eyes, openly demonstrating her resignation, a forced smile on her lips as she laughed without humour.

"Oh, Force, bad things always happen to Qui-Gon's Padawan, don't they?"


	6. Chapter 6

**6. Chapter**

In the bright and plain room of the High Council, the faint light of Coruscant's sun was streaming through the windows, reaching from the floor to the high ceiling, creating strange and bizarre shadows in the middle of the room. The twelve Council members were sitting on their chairs, pensive looks on their faces, while three Jedi, two Masters and a Knight, stood in front of them.

"Find out what ails Padawan Kenobi you did, didn't you, hmm?" Master Yoda asked, his big green eyes looking at Knight Allie intently. "Important it must be. Otherwise not asked for a Council meeting you would have."

Stass nodded shortly and curtly, the small smile quite forced onto her lips. She felt nervous about what she had to tell the Council. And not only them, but Masters Jinn and Tahl as well. Neither of them knew what was going on, as her cousin had decided it would be of no use to inform them in the middle of the night.

Seeing the tense shoulders of the two Masters and their worried gazes, the Tholothian Knight cleared her throat uncomfortably. Better not beat around the bush then.

"Padawan Kenobi's examination was a success, Masters. I was able to figure out what is causing his sickness and how to treat it. Nonetheless did I, just as Master Gallia, think that it would be best if the Council would be informed about the matter."

At that point, Stass stopped, unable to prevent a heavy gulp anymore. Force, things were complicated. How was she supposed to deliver this information? Being the messenger of bad news really wasn't a nice thing.

Deciding to take another rout, one that would hopefully keep her out of the crossfire that would surely start soon, the young Tholothian titled her head and asked the Council members rather bluntly.

"I would like to inquire what you know about bonds, Masters."

Whatever the fourteen Masters had expected her to say, this question wasn't what they had in mind. A short, stunned silence ensued, until Master Windu finally had enough and cleared his throat.

"Well, Knight Allie, there are different kind of bonds, different in the way they are created, differing in the impact they have upon the bonded and finally different in the way they last. Is this enough, or should I continue?"

Stass shook her head and was about to speak, when a cough to her left side made her stop and turn around. Qui-Gon, who had been standing next to her quietly until then, looked at her intently, his brows furrowed in thought and a look of confusion in his eyes.

"Do you mean to imply that something is wrong with the training bond, Knight Allie? Is it that what is making Obi-Wan sick?"

With a soft look in her eyes, Stass shook her head in negation, a pained looked on her face even though she had a wan smile on her lips. "No, Master Jinn, what causes Padawan Kenobi's poor state of health is not the _training_ bond but _a_ bond." Seeing the looks of confusion still on the other Masters faces, the young Knight sighed and continued. "What I mean is that nothing is wrong with the training bond between him and Master Jinn. However, through methods unknown to me Padawan Kenobi achieved another bond."

For a few moments nothing happened. Fourteen pairs of eyes stared with all but incredulity and utter disbelieve at Stass, causing the young Tholothian to squirm. In any other situation, the Knight would have been delighted at the vast display of emotions on the otherwise always composed and controlled Masters' faces. But this time it just made her feel uncomfortable.

"Another bond? Do you know to whom Padawan Kenobi is bonded to?", Depa Billaba asked in her melodious voice, concern lacing it.

Thankful for the Chalactanian Master to divert her fellow Masters' attention from her, Stass nodded, smiling gratefully at the dark haired woman.

"Yes, it was mere coincidence that I was able to find out. I tried to break down Padawan Kenobi's shields, but was unable to. They are too strong for me to break through and even if I had succeeded, I would have surely damaged his mind in the process. So I tried my luck and tested whether I would be able to follow the bond to the person he was sharing it with. And to my immense surprise I realized that it was indeed possible. So I followed it and ended up right in front of Knight Tah'lara's room."

Sighing lowly, Stass looked over to Tahl and smiled sheepishly.

"That is why I wanted Master Tahl to attend the meeting as well. I think she has a right to know and after all, she is the one who knows Knight Tah'lara best."

This earned her a round of understanding nodding. It was a well-known fact in the Temple even throughout the younger generation of Knights that Tahl had been so much closer to Tah'lara than any other Master was to his or her Padawan. If the young woman was concerned, it was indeed best to involve the Noorian Master.

But even though Master Tahl's presence was now clear, other questions remained.

"How is that even possible?", Tahl asked, her eye-brows furrowed in thought. "Padawan Kenobi and Knight Tah'lara haven't even met, much less do they even know each other."

"That is where you are wrong, Master Tahl.", Master Windu's voice echoed loudly through the room. "Padawan Kenobi was the one assigned to guard her travel back to Coruscant. He was ordered not to enter the cargo hold where Knight Tah'lara was residing during the flight. It would have been possible for him to meet her."

Suddenly a harsh sound of wood scratching over floor caused the Masters to turn around to the source of the sound. Master Yoda, his eyes wide with worry and his ears hanging low was looking far ahead unfocusedly.

"Unimportant it is, how the bond between them was created. Important, however, is what the bond will do to them, isn't it, hmm?"

This was the time Adi Gallia decided to step in and spare Stass another questioning. The Council members could be quite harsh in it when correctly provoked, an experience the elder Tholothian wanted to spare her cousin.

"The bond is a unique one, unlike all other bonds I have encountered so far. At the moment it neither is a Master-Padawan-bond, nor a Master-Slave-bond, nor a marriage-bond, though it could easily develop into one. No, the bond the two share is unique."

"What makes it unique, Master Gallia? Could you please be a little more precise?", Mace's impatient voice grew louder. He didn't like where the topic was leading them to. The more information he had the better to make a decision.

Adi smiled uncomfortably, trying to reassure the two anxiously waiting Masters standing next to her cousin through her eyes.

"Their minds merged, fused together as one." Seeing the incredulous stares directed at her, Adi sighed and hurried to explain. "I don't know how it happened, but that is how things are. Padawan Kenobi's and Knight Tah'lara's minds are connected in such a strong way, it was difficult for me to trace where one mind ends and the other starts."

She didn't need to turn around and look at Masters Tahl and Jinn to see how they felt. There would be incredulity in their gazes, disbelieve and a lot of worry. After all, a fusion between minds was a dangerous thing. It was only natural they would fear for their Padawans', in Master Tahl's case former Padawan's well-being.

"What does this _fusion_ do to them? Are there any consequences we should be aware of?" The soft voice betrayed nothing of the turmoil Depa Billaba was surely feeling. The question caused Adi to smile at her gratefully. While her fellow Masters still tried to come to terms with what they had heard, Depa was a step farther ahead, having accepted the facts and thinking now about the consequences.

"At the moment I can't tell much. I will need to examine them further to find out more. All I can say at the moment is that the two seem to be able to share their thoughts and feelings. When I stimulated a certain part of Knight Tah'lara's brain with a drug, mere moments later Padawan Kenobi's brain reacted to it as if it had been stimulated, too."

Remembering the results from the tests she had made so far, Adi continued, her eyes unfocused. "So far, I'm able to state that it's possible for them to share what the other sees, hears, smells or feels. I have never seen a bond of such depth before."

A deep frown appeared on Master Mundi's forehead, his dark brows furrowed heavily in thought. "What about their feelings, deeper feelings for each other, that is? Is there any chance that those might be influenced through their bond?"

Adi looked confused until understanding dawned her and she shook her head slowly. "You want to know, Master Mundi, whether the bond works like a marriage-bond?" Seeing him nod in agreement, the Tholothian Master continued, though slowly, uncertainty lacing her voice.

"I saw no indications that would lead me to assume that the bond would force them to develop feelings for each other. However, it is very probable, that romantic feelings between them might blossom. After all, they will share everything, there is nothing they could hide from the other."

Out of the corner of her eyes, the Tholothian Master saw that this wasn't what her fellow Masters had wanted to hear and honestly, she couldn't hold it against them. After all, as Jedi they believed in letting go of one's emotions. To be unable to do so and not out of reluctance but because one's mind was incapable to, was something that had never crossed their thoughts before.

"Their minds are profoundly connected, working as if they were a single mind. I don't know whether you can understand this, how they must feel, sharing everything, and being so deeply connected. For them to develop romantic feelings would only be a natural course, something they could neither control nor prevent."

Master Windu straightened himself further up, a harsh look on his face. "So, the two of them will become attached to each other, if they want it or not?" Seeing the Tholothian Master nodded, Mace continued, his voice not losing the edge and sharpness it previously held. "It's against the Code. We can't let the bond be, it has to be broken up immediately."

"Excuse me?", Adi Gallia's sharp hiss echoed loudly in the room, causing her fellow Masters to look at her in surprise. "Excuse me, Master Windu, but did you even hear a single word I said? I told you that their minds were profoundly connected to a point where it was difficult to tell where one mind ended and the other started! Can't you imagine what this would do to them? Forcing the bond apart?"

With a shaky intake of breath, Adi tried to compose herself, regretting her outburst already. But still she would not undo it. It was too important that her fellow Masters understood what was at risk. More composed, but the silent fire still raging in her indigo eyes, the Tholothian Master continued.

"They could die. It would be like ripping a mind apart. And even if they would survive the process, their minds would be irreparably damaged in the process. If they survived at all, that is."

Master Windu couldn't prevent a gulp. Killing two fellow Jedi, or leaving them severely incapacitated wasn't an option. But still, just accepting the bond wouldn't do either. Raising his head and clenching his teeth, the dark skinned Master looked at his fellow Master with equal determination.

"Well, then they should be exiled from the Order."

The Master could see out of the corner of his eyes how his friend paled, while Tahl flinched. Mace felt sorry for his friends, losing their Padawans wasn't something they could take easily, but it was something he had to say. As a Council member, he had to make sure that the Codex was adhered to.

"But why, Master Windu?", Depa Billaba's brown eyes were clouded with confusion, her eye-brows furrowed together. "They didn't plan on bonding deliberately. It wouldn't it be fair for them, nor would I deem it acceptable to punish them for something they didn't want to do and probably couldn't even influence at all?"

However, the Master only straightened his shoulders, his face still emotionless, his decision made. "Nonetheless this bond goes against the Codex. Therefore, it has to be punished, no matter how wrong and difficult it may feel."

However, Master Mundi shook his head slowly, a contemplative look on his face. "Master Windu, adhering to the Codex is not the only solution. After all, Corellian Jedi are allowed to marry and raise their children with their families even inside the Temple complex. They love their families dearly; it is attachment in its purest form and still it is permitted."

His gaze became unfocused as the Cerean Master furrowed his brows thoughtfully. Normally he wasn't one to mention personal things during a Council meeting, but this time he had to make an exception. Mace, as much as he respected and valued him as a fellow Master, was wrong this time. "The Council knows, just like I do, that exceptions to the Codex can be made, if only the reasons are valid and important ones."

Ki-Adi didn't need to exaggerate to make the other Masters understand what he wanted them to realize. Over thirty years ago had they allowed him to adhere to Cerean customs and a take wives. They had allowed this because of his race's probable distinction, to save lives as they had stated.

So, wasn't allowing two Jedi to continue living with this bond saving their lives too?

Next to him, Shaak Ti nodded in agreement, her long, striped head-tails bouncing a little, following the movements of her head. "That is true. Furthermore, it was agreed on years ago, that the Codex should be adhered to, but not at the expense of an individual's life. Some races need attachments as a measure to survive. Others would survive a life in solitude, but sadly at the expense to never live a fulfilled life."

The Togruta leaned further back into her chair, her black eyes travelling slowly through the room, at times lingering thoughtfully on her fellow Masters' faces. "If they need the bond and a form of attachment to survive, then we should accept this. They can still later be exiled from the Order should the bond turn out to hinder their work and their progress in the Order."

A soft hum and a loud knocking of wood against floor filled the otherwise silent room. Master Yoda, his expression thoughtful but determined, looked at his fellow Masters with a stern gaze. "Prove themselves worthy of this bond Knight Tah'lara and Padawan Kenobi will have to. Allow them to remain Jedi, we should. Feel this way the majority does."

Wrinkling his brows in thought, Master Yoda hummed contentedly. "About their special condition Masters Tahl and Jinn should tell them, once awake they are. Informed of their awaking the Council should be, too."

Looking around, the diminutive Master's green eyes came to a halt at the two Masters standing in front of the Council. With a soft smile that betrayed his happiness with the state of things, Master Yoda directed his last words at them.

"Nothing more to say the Council has on this matter. Dismissed you are. Go and keep an eye on your apprentices you should."

The other Masters nodded in silent acceptance and though it was plainly visible that Master Windu was doing this only with a lot of reluctance, he grudgingly accepted the Grand Master's decision.

With a last bow to the Council members and small, but grateful smiles on their lips, Qui-Gon and Tahl left the Council room.

* * *

><p>In a smaller of the Council rooms were three Masters, two standing, their backs towards the windows and one of them sitting. The rest of the Council members had already left the rooms in favour for their own quarters or a quiet and comfortable meditating place.<p>

On his chair, the smallest of the three Master turned a little, so he could observe his fellow Masters' reaction better. His long ears hung miserably and his green eyes shone with worry.

"Wanted to speak with you in private I have. Need more insight of the nature of this bond we do. Know more than the others you two do."

No question was asked, but it wasn't necessary to do. Both Masters knew exactly what Master Yoda wanted to know as this was what every one of them secretly were having troubles to come to terms with, so the question could be left unspoken.

Shaak sighed and shook her head lightly, her black eyes filled with worry and uncertainty.

"I don't know, Master Yoda. This bond is, as Master Gallia stated so fittingly, unlike any bond I have seen so far. I am sorry, but I am at a loss as to what we could do to prevent something like this happening again."

Next to her, Ki-Adi shrugged. The Cerean Master had been very quiet ever since the Council meeting had been called to an end. Something was bothering him, his unfocused eyes and the frown on his forehead gave his dilemma away.

"I don't think that preventing such a bond from existing again is what we should think about. No, our main worry should be how exactly it was created."

Feeling the intent gazes of his fellow Masters on him, Master Mundi turned around a little.

"We know nearly nothing about Knight Tah'lara's race. It doesn't help that exceptionally few children are Force sensitive in this sector and those who are, mostly don't want to leave their home planet to join the Order. In the archives there is not much to read about this sector either. Well, aside from that it does exit and some people live there, that is."

Unconsciously, Ki-Adi crossed his arms over his chest, giving himself a defensive position. The act made his former Master nearly smile, hadn't the situation been so dire. It was something that had started when Ki-Adi was still a Padawan, a habit which annoyed the Cerean Master but he just couldn't get rid of it. Each time a situation was getting a little out of hand, Master Mundi would retreat into his shell, becoming defensive and wary of the outside world.

"We don't even know if bonding is something in the Zorya'anians' nature or if this kind of bond is as foreign to them as it is to us. For all we know it could be most common there. This should be our main concern. This lack of knowledge is dangerous. We have to find a way to gather more information about Zorya'an and the sector. If not for Knight Tah'lara and Padawan Kenobi, then at least for the future Jedi descending from this sector."

Master Yoda hummed, his short fingers firming their grip around his walking stick. Taking in the advantages and disadvantages of this course of action, the diminutive Master came to a decision.

"Investigate further on this matter we should. Master Ti, to the archives go you should and what there is to know about Zorya'an find out you will. Difficult and probably fruitless it will be, but nevertheless go there you should."

Seeing that she nodded in acceptance and understanding, Master Yoda focused his attention on his former Padawan.

"Speak with Baril Alcatran you should, Master Mundi. More about the matter know he may. After all, Knight Tah'lara's main healer he has been. And examining her for the last twenty years he was. Knowing more about her than we do he might."

Taking this as their dismissal, the two Masters bowed and then left the room.

Perhaps some conversations and researches might help them find the answers that they needed so dearly.

* * *

><p>In the kitchen of the bright and nicely furnished quarters, Qui-Gon was busily preparing tea for Tahl and himself. The Council meeting had left them pretty shaken and a good dose of hot tea might be exactly what their minds and bodies might need.<p>

The Master had expected a lot of things. A mean, but only temporal illness, a strange defect and even an attack with horrible consequences. He had prepared himself for this, had been sitting all day long on the cold floor of the common room, trying to meditate his worries and fears away.

When the Council had asked him to attend a meeting with Stass Allie about his Padawan, Qui-Gon had been calm and collected. He knew it was foolish to do so, but his sub-consciousness cheered. If Obi-Wan's state of health was to be discussed during a Council meeting, then things couldn't be too bad. After all, if something life-threatening ailed a Padawan, the healers would tell first tell the Master, before later bringing the subject in front of the Council.

How wrong to think that, he had been.

He should have started to think this matter over again, when he realized Tahl would attend this meeting, too. Had he been more alert, her presence should have evoked a cascade of questions. Why was she there? After all, she wasn't Obi-Wan's Master and had nearly nothing to do with him. Was she here to console him? Was it so bad that they feared he might snap, shouldn't she be there to anchor him?

All this should have alerted his cautiousness.

Of all things happening to his Padawan, the young man ended up bonded to someone he didn't even know.

The diagnosis had floored Qui-Gon greatly. Bonds just as attachment were something the Council members were very careful about. And though his sub-consciousness expected no other reaction, the Master couldn't help but be a little shocked with what coldness and harshness Mace Windu wanted the two to be expelled from the Order.

A shudder ran over his body and his heart constricted painfully at this bitter memory.

Shaking his head in a vain attempt to clear this thought from his mind, Qui-Gon took in a shuddering breath. He had been so close, so close to losing another Padawan. The thought was too much for him, a darkness locked far away in his mind, to never be let loose again in the future. Thinking about it was just too painful. Once he had lost an apprentice and the betrayal had nearly destroyed him. Now, years later, after Obi-Wan had found a way to win over his Master's heart, losing the young man would destroy Qui-Gon for good.

With a last shivering breath, the Master shoved the thoughts aside. No, his mind hissed, this would never happen. Qui-Gon wouldn't let them. And if he had to teach his Padawan day and night how to shield his mind and let go of one's feelings again and again, the Master wouldn't let the Council take Obi-Wan from him. And if it was the last thing for Qui-Gon to do, he would help his Padawan, no matter what.

Sighing lowly, the Master sat down on his chair and passed Tahl her cup of tea, when a soft knock reached them and the door to the quarters was palmed open.

In the door stood Adi Gallia, her travel cloak slung around her slim frame. Qui-Gon could barely restrain himself from blinking in surprise. The meeting was only were minutes over and yet again a Council member wanted to speak with him.

Remembering his manners, the Master nodded in greeting and indicated for Adi to step further into the room and take a seat. He was about to get up and prepare another cup of tea for the Tholothian Master, when Adi stopped him with a shaking of her head.

"Thanks, Qui-Gon, for the offer, but I will have to decline. Sadly, I don't have much time and will be off before you even realize it."

Qui-Gon nodded, though a bit of confusion remained. Adi tried to hide her emotions well, but still, a Master was able to trace her true emotional state through the Force. She was stressed, a little uneasy and even nervous. Her hands twitched at times and her lips were just barely noticeably pursed.

"There is something I wanted to tell you two, well, more like Knight Tah'lara and Padawan Kenobi. I know it should be brought in front of the Council, but I just feel it is better to explain it to you first."

Tahl and Qui-Gon stiffened at the mention of their Padawans, but nodded in understanding. The elder Master could feel coldness starting to overwhelm his heart, but he squashed it forcefully. Adi hadn't even stated what she wanted to talk about. There was no need to worry yet.

In front of them, the Tholothian Master pushed her hands deeper into the sleeves of her travel cloak, a sigh leaving her lips.

"Once Tah'lara is conscious again, something that will happen fairly soon, she will need to be assigned her own quarters. Normally she would be given a free quarter in the Knights' wing, but frankly, I don't think this is a prudent decision."

Her voice trailed away as did her focus. Shaking her head rigorously, Adi fixed an intense gaze on the two Masters.

"I think Tah'lara should move into the quarters right next to yours, Qui-Gon." Seeing the confusion in the other Masters' eyes, Adi smiled a little and tried to explain. "Remember what happened when you and your Padawan left for this mission on M'Bardi? Was he at first acting like normal, then the further you left the more distracted your Padawan became? The longer you stayed on the planet, the more intense and frequent this blackouts would strike him?"

Qui-Gon nodded slowly. Adi was correct, but her questions had been rhetorical ones as this was exactly what the elder Master had told healer Shant. He still didn't know where this entire conversation was leading them to.

Nevertheless the Tholothian Master nodded knowingly.

"That is exactly why I want her to move in next to you. It is a normal procedure for newly bonded people, only that as their bond is so much deeper than most other bonds. The bond between them is there, fragile but it is there. It will need time to grow and strengthen; therefore it needs closure. It's where it draws its strengths from. The nearer Tah'lara and Obi-Wan are, the sooner the bond will have reached its full potential."

Adi looked at the Masters intently, as if she was trying to gauge their reactions.

"As soon as the bond is fully developed, both will be able to live a normal life. Their bond will develop its full potential, providing them with so much more than a normal bond would. Wherever they are, even if they are on opposite sides of the universe, they will still be able to reach the other, to feel them, to speak with them."

When the Tholothian stopped, Qui-Gon's head was spinning. The situation was getting out of their hands. He couldn't imagine not having complete control over his body and mind, it was something he just couldn't and wouldn't be able to understand. And still he would have to, for Obi-Wan's sake.

Slowly Qui-Gon looked up into Adi's eyes.

"So, keeping them close to each other is the only way to help them?" His voice trailed off a little.

"It's one way to keep them safe and help them with their situation. I see you have no problems with this arrangement?" Seeing two negative shakings of heads, Adi continued, a heavy pressure lifted from her chest. "There is another way to help them, for which I need the help of both of you."

Having the two Masters' undivided attention, the Tholothian tried to explain. "The way things are, Obi-Wan and Tah'lara would suffer mental breakdown as soon as they are awake again. With the bond intact, their minds would be flooded with all kinds of impressions, sensations, emotions and thoughts. It would be too much for them to stomach. That is why I need your help, you have to teach them how to properly shield their minds."

Her indigo eyes settled onto Tahl's green ones, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"I think it would be best if each of you taught one of them. The already formed connections between you would be very helpful. Though I would understand if you didn't want to, Tahl. It must be difficult, with a Padawan still under your care, to find time to teach Tah'lara."

The Tholothian's voice had been soft and understanding but still Tahl's eyes darkened and she bristled visibly. When she spoke, her voice was hard as steel and her shoulders firmly straightened.

"Thanks for the concern, Master Gallia, but I am perfectly capable to supervise my Padawan's education and training and still have enough time to teach Tah'lara how to properly shield her mind."

Adi merely shrugged. There would be no use to placate the Noorian Master. If angered, Tahl needed to work on the issue alone and no 'I am sorry' would help her. Perhaps, the Tholothian pondered, a different approach would have been better. After all, Tahl was known for her strong sense of independence and taking affront easily from people who tried to help her.

"Well, that is good to hear. You should start teaching them as soon as they are awake again." With a little bow, Adi straightened up again and smiled happily at them. "I should go now, the ship and Siri won't wait for me if I am late."

Nearly at the door, she turned around again. "Oh, before I forget this. I already requested Tah'lara to move in next to you. The Council, though, doesn't know yet. The request will reach them tomorrow morning. And though I know they will want to fight it, they won't be able to, because, as the leading attending healer, I have to be present when they vote on it."

A small, sly smile tugged her lips and her eyes twinkled mischievously. "They might have to wait longer than they wish for. Siri and I will be on a difficult diplomatic mission, which will take me away from Coruscant for at least some months. This should give you enough of a head start that you need."

With that, she was out of the door, leaving behind two baffled Masters.

* * *

><p>In the solitude and peace of his silent quarters, Mace Windu sat on his favourite chair in front of the gigantic window and watched the traffic outside without interest. Ever since the nerve-wracking and dissatisfying Council meeting was over, he had been sitting there, one hand mindlessly playing with a cup of hot tea, the other forming a nice rest for his chin.<p>

He knew it was wrong of him to do so, but the Council's decision regarding the Knight Tah'lara and Padawan Kenobi disturbed him, more than he even wanted to admit to himself. As a Master he normally was able to let go of his emotions, to feel calm and act composed, but still, hours after the meeting his mind was still running wild.

Letting the bond stay intact and allowing the two Jedi to remain in the Order had been a tough decision. Everything in him, especially the parts of his mind that had literally absorbed and internalized every single word of the Codex, was screaming at him how wrong the decision had been.

And still, maybe, it was the correct thing to do.

This way at least he had been spared his friend's devastated and shocked gaze, would his Padawan have been exiled from the Order. Xanatos' betrayal had hit the Master hard and it had taken years and a lot of silent persuading and taking care from Kenobi's side to somehow melt the icy wall around the elder man's heart.

Unfortunately Qui-Gon had obviously not learned from his earlier mistakes and had allowed Kenobi not only to win over his Master's heart, but literally had taken his heart by assault. If now his Padawan was to leave the Order, for whatever valid reason there may be, Qui-Gon wouldn't be able to cope with this.

Heaving a sigh, Mace brought the cup of tea to his lips and took a long sip.

Perhaps he had been too harsh on Knight Tah'lara and Padawan Kenobi. Perhaps those two would really be able to live with this bond and the consequential attachment while still adhering to the Codex. It was an optimistic and probably too naïve thought, but at the moment it was everything Mace could do.

At least he knew that both Qui-Gon and Tahl would ironically be punished for their Padawans' predicament. After all, Mace knew both the Padawan and the Knight fairly well, several Council meetings just as several visits to his friend had helped him get to know those two better than most other Padawans and Knights.

All he could do for Qui-Gon and Tahl was to wish them good luck. Telling the two teenagers what had happened to them while they had been blissfully unaware of the world around them, would certainly be a real pain in the ass.

Leaning back further into his comfortable chair, Mace allowed a knowing smirk to graze his lips. Yes, Kenobi could be handful, especially when he was correctly provoked and wanted to be. Qui-Gon, his poor, poor friend would surely have his fun.

Finally, after years of suffering on Mace's side thanks to Qui-Gon's difficult character, his friend would get what he deserved.

'Ah, poetic justice.'


	7. Chapter 7

**7. Chapter**

'What the heck? This can't be, I must be dreaming.'

Obi-Wan was sitting in the hospital bed, the thin blanket drawn to his stomach and a thick cushion pushed behind his back to make sitting easier. The sun was shining brightly, strays of it warming his legs and his upper body considerably. And still, Obi-Wan couldn't feel it.

In fact, aside from the drumming in his ears, the shivers wracking his body and his laboured breathing there weren't much Obi-Wan could experience at all. His mind seemed eerily blank, like a gigantic black hole, sucking in everything and causing it to disappear.

There was no fear, no anger, no desperation,… just nothing. Nothing but the eerie whole trying to consume him.

Slowly Obi-Wan was able to calm himself. With a lot of effort he regained control over his breathing. Taking forced deep and slow breath, his raging heartbeat calmed down, easing the drumming in his ears. Finally, only the shivers remained.

He was still gazing thoughtlessly at his blanket covered feet, when a soft rustle to his left caught his attention.

"I am sorry, Obi-Wan."

The voice was soft as was the look in the blue eyes. They held no harshness, no disappointment at his obvious lack of control over his emotions, nor reprimand for his shameful behaviour. Nothing like that, just compassion.

Obi-Wan felt his cheeks becoming warm. He had sworn to himself to never embarrass his Master again and yet not even ten days later, he had broken his promise. Feeling suddenly very conscious of himself, the young man raised his gaze and fixed his eyes onto the elder man's face.

"So… I-I'm bonded… to a woman… I don't even know?"

His voice sounded so weak, a mere shadow of his normal one, but at least it didn't waver nor crack. That was something. A human being's shadow moved, causing Obi-Wan to blink. Opposite of him, his Master nodded slowly in affirmation.

Seeing this, the young man felt as if he was drowning again.

It really was true then. His blackouts, these horrible things he had been seeing, the despair, the horror and the panic weren't just figments of his overactive imagination. No, they were that mysterious woman's emotions. She had been the one waking up lost and alone, she was the one searching frantically for familiar presences, only to get lost in the mass of foreign signatures and finally, she was the one to suffer a panic attack, resulting in her needing to be drugged.

At least, now Obi-Wan knew he hadn't completely lost it.

The thought brought a wry smile to his lips. 'That's it, keep seeing the positive in every situation.'

When he woke up after what felt like a long, alcohol and party-filled night, Obi-Wan was at first disorientated. The bed he was laying in had been neither the one in his quarters, nor one of a small bunks he used to sleep on while travelling with his Master. No, this bed was uncomfortable, hard. Letting his head roll to the side he was greeted by an unfamiliar sight.

His groggy and tired mind was still trying to figure out where exactly he was, when a soft chuckle to his left caused him to spin his head around. There, sitting on an uncomfortable looking chair, was his Master, smiling broadly at him.

Perhaps, if the young man had been more aware of his surroundings, he would realize how tired and wary his Master looked. Master Jinn's skin had a light grey hue to it, dark shadows were around his eyes and the normally bright, blue eyes looked surprisingly dull. Nevertheless, the elder man was smiling, helping his Padawan to sit up straight.

Once he was sitting upright, Obi-Wan had listened with growing confusion and something akin to panic what his Master had to tell him. It wasn't much, to be honest, only a short summary of what had happened after he had blacked out during their flight back to the Temple and still the young man had had severe problems with comprehending his Master's words.

'Bonded… when? No, _how_?'

At least Master Yoda had been able to convince the Council to give him and that woman a chance. Obi-Wan could really imagine the scene. Master Windu, his face becoming darker with indignation, his eyes angrily narrowed and his teeth firmly grit, while next to him, Master Yoda had been sitting on his chair, his hands wrapped around his walking stick, an uncaring but content expression on his face.

'It could have gone wrong. Heck, it still can so easily.'

If Obi-Wan wasn't able to act as a Jedi was supposed to, the Council could still change their prior decision and exile him from the Order. His Master had made sure that the young Padawan knew this all too well.

Leaning back further into the cushion, Obi-Wan titled his head a little to the side. Well, no use in dwelling on things he wasn't able to change at all. Perhaps thinking about a possible way to work through this situation would help him a lot.

"C-can you tell me something about her, Master? Like… her name? That might help a little."

His Master smiled a little, proud that his Padawan showed such inner strength. At first, he had feared Obi-Wan would snap or just resign himself to a life outside the Order. Though Qui-Gon knew that this wouldn't happen, he had faith in his Padawan. Obi-Wan was strong and determined, he would be able to live through this hard time and solve each problem which would cross his path. It would be hard and his path would be stony with lots of obstacles in the way, but with the right determination Obi-Wan would be able to find the small middle way between being a Jedi and being bonded to a woman.

"Well, what can I tell you about her? Her name is Tah'lara. She is eighteen years old and comes from the planet Zorya'an. For several years now she has been on Alderaan and only returned to the Temple two ten-days ago. You had no possibility to meet her-"

"She was brought to the Temple in this stasis capsule, wasn't she?"

The young man's voice was soft and a little hesitant. He didn't need to look up to see his Master's curious gaze on him. Gulping, Obi-Wan once again cursed his mouth. There was no way he could get out of this now, not with his Master's curiosity alerted.

"How do you know that, my Padawan? As far as I know, you were ordered not to enter the cargo department, weren't you?"

Obi-Wan felt heat raising to cheeks and a sheepish smile grazed his lips. He could only hope that his Master would understand why he went against a direct order. Stiffing, the young Padawan tried to evade the elder man's inquisitive gaze.

"I know I shouldn't have and I really didn't intent to enter the cargo department. But something woke me up from my sleep and when I reached into the Force to find out what it had been, I detected a faint living signature. So I followed it to the cargo hold."

The young man's gaze became unfocused and a shiver ran down his spine as he remembered the faint tug at his mental shields and his mind, the coldness that had crept over his shivering body and the strange feeling of narrowness, as if something had been trying to twine around him, squeezing more and more with each passing moment.

Unable to prevent the shudder, Obi-Wan forcefully pushed the uncomfortable memory far away.

"I don't know why I did it, but I walked to the stasis capsule as I heard someone writhe in pain, gasp and yelp. I can't describe it, but it was like… something was drawing me to her. When her suffering increased, I opened the cover of the capsule and searched for a way to help her. But there was nothing I could do. I was about to leave the room and call for help, when she suddenly opened her eyes and stared at me."

Pausing for a moment, Obi-Wan recalled how his mind had felt suddenly empty as her eyes fixed on his, only to feel moments later as if his mind had been plugged. The feeling was so unpleasant, the young Padawan immediately had slammed up his shields in defence.

"It was as if time had frozen. Her eyes bored into mine, so intense it felt like she might be reaching to my soul. And then, as soon as it had happened, it was over again. She closed her eyes, sunk back into the capsule, sleeping peacefully from that moment on."

Cautiously the young man searched his Master's eyes, his nervousness clearly visible in his tense shoulders and his hands, which were playing unceasingly with the hem of the blanket.

"I am sorry, Master. I should have told you. But I went against an order and the encounter was just so _strange_, I decided to keep quiet about it." Obi-Wan looked at the elder man ruefully. "I'm really sorry, Master."

He really was a hopeless case. Even during such a basic and easy mission as guarding a ship was Obi-Wan able to mess up. His Master must really be ashamed. And still Qui-Gon promised to help him and teach him everything there was to live with such a strong connection to someone else. The elder man really was special, the Padawan knew he didn't deserve such a Master.

A hand squeezing this knee caused the Obi-Wan to look up reluctantly.

"No need to feel sorry, my Padawan. You did what your heart and the Force told you to do. Though I wish you had told me sooner. We could have evaded some trouble this way."

Obi-Wan nodded in understanding, yet a tendril of disbelieve remained. Ever since his trip to the Agri Corps it had been there, nagging at his self-consciousness, whispering to him that he wasn't worth it. For the last six years, the young man had tried to shield those bitter and crushing thoughts away. And still they would resurface at the worst of times.

Qui-Gon, who wasn't unaware of his Padawan's struggle and seeing that he had played a major role in its process, smiled compassionately at him. The elder man knew that for Obi-Wan this bond was just another step back. It would take his Master a lot of time to reassure him and support the thought that it wasn't just another failure but maybe a chance to prove his worthiness.

"Padawan, believe me, you did nothing wrong. It was her soul that called out to yours and brought you to her. You couldn't have prevented this from happening, as you were literally trapped. When your gazes locked, you said it felt like your mind was first emptied of everything, only to be plugged moments later? That was when the bond was created."

Thinking about the young woman in the room next to theirs, Qui-Gon smiled at his Padawan, trying to ease the young man's worries through their training bond. Faintly, he felt the strong barriers which Tahl and he had placed there, to help the young Jedi get used to their new situation.

"Have faith, Obi-Wan. Tah'lara is a nice, young woman. You will find it easy to speak and spent time with her. Just give it some time and things between you will calm down.

Pushing his Padawan gently deeper into the cushion so that he would half-sit half-lay in the hospital bed, Qui-Gon used the Force to manipulate the shutters into closing halfway, casting long shadows at the bed and walls.

"There is much more to Knight Tah'lara than meets the eyes, Obi-Wan. I know you want to know more about her, how she came to the Temple and why she was at Alderaan, for example. But, unfortunately, I can't tell you more. I'm in no position to reveal such personal information about her."

With careful movements, Master pushed his apprentice even further into the bed. Qui-Gon let himself sink down deeper into the chair, sending soothing waves of sleep suggestions to Obi-Wan through their training bond.

"Get some sleep, Obi-Wan. Tomorrow you are going to meet her. Sleep and relax. It will help you."

The young man nodded, his mind already sleepy and foggy. Yeah, sleep was good. At least he wouldn't have to think and ponder while sleeping. There would be nothing, just utter darkness.

Sinking deeper into the cushions and the mattress, Obi-Wan felt his eyes drift shut. Tomorrow he would meet this woman, Tah'lara.

A strange knot formed in his stomach and a lump in his throat made it difficult for him to breath.

'Force, please, let her be nice.'

* * *

><p>Ki-Adi strode lazily through his common room, arms crossed over his chest as his eyes were looking unfocusedly at the small, yet elegant pieces of wall decorations adorning the otherwise white walls. On the low couch table was standing a holoprojector, the corresponding holocamera recording nothing more than the comfortable chair in front of a plain wall.<p>

The Master had asked the University of Natural Sciences with focus on medical science to speak with scientist Alcatran. However, the young secretary who had answered his call had only looked up uninterestedly from her holopad and told him in a bored voice that the scientist was currently in an extremely important meeting and that Ki-Adi should prepare himself for a long time of waiting if he truly wished to speak with him.

That had been over an hour ago.

The Cerean Master was shaking his head in something like mild annoyance and was about to leave the room and prepare himself a cup of tea, when the projected sight flickered a little, the movement causing the Master to halt in his step and turn around.

An elderly man, at first glance in his mid-sixties, stepped into the area of projection and unceremoniously let himself fall into the chair. Curly white hair was sticking out at every possible place and angle, falling freely over his dark brown eyes. The wrinkled skin, his square-jawed face and the prominent, badly stitched together scar at his left eyebrow gave him a slightly dangerous appearance.

A small, soft smile played around the Cerean's lips as he took his place in front of the holocamera.

"It's good to see you are well, Baril."

The scientist smiled broadly at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes. With a boyish gesture betraying his boyish attitude, Baril ran his fingers through his hair, dishevelling it even more in the process.

"Ki-Adi, my friend. It's good to see you too, indeed. To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure? It's not the kid, is it?"

The question nearly caused the Master to roll his eyes and sigh in exasperation. No matter how many years Baril lived the life of Alderaanian high society, his true self would always shine through. The scientist's colleagues were trying their best, but even they wouldn't be able to undo years of living an uncivilized life.

"There are two things I have to speak with you about. First of all, the Council and I wish to thank you for tending Knight Tah'lara and seeing to her successful healing. She arrived at the Temple without any further problems, so there is no need to worry."

Baril nodded happily and leaned further back into the chair, a content smile on his lips and a soft looks in his dark eyes.

"Helping her goes without saying. You Jedi are very protective of your people. Her health mattered to you, so, of course, I'd try and help her. I owe you, after all."

The scientist had not yet closed his mouth completely, yet the Cerean Master shook his head, a soft, but determined look of contradiction in his eyes.

"You don't owe me anything, Baril. I did what I had to do then. Your thankfulness and gratefulness is more than enough."

This was another thing Baril would probably never learn. This issue had been standing between them ever since they got to know each other.

Thirty-five years ago, Baril had been a space pirate, a faithful member of a wild and barbaric crew, stealing and raiding every valuable ship that crossed their path. He had loved money, gems and all kinds of shiny things, but even more he had loved his lovely wife Louriel, a fellow, respected crewmember. He had loved her the moment he had seen her. She had been all he had wanted in a woman, being feisty, strong and independent. Her dark red, curly hair had reached to the middle of her back, her black eyes always shining mercilessly, like glowing coals from the deepest levels of hell. She had looked like a fury and surely fought like one as well.

Louriel had been his life, his everything, and yet happiness hadn't been what Fate and Life had planned for them.

During one of the raids, Louriel must have contracted a dangerous and unknown disease. Within hours, her body had been wracked by waves of high fever and spasms, her breathing had become laboured, her heartbeat erratic and her once bright and lively eyes had turned dull and scarily glassy. Baril had done everything he could to keep her alive, his faith in the crew's help never wavering.

However, instead of offering assistance, the crew had kept their distance. _She is dangerous_, they had been whispering to the distraught Baril. _It isn't safe to allow her to remain on the ship. Leaving her behind on a planet to die will be good. Killing her off immediately would be even better. It would spare her suffering and pain._

But Baril couldn't. So, instead of killing his wife with the blaster they had unceremoniously shoved into his hands, Baril had taken her with him and fled, all the while defending the woman he had loved with all his might. Though running and hiding had proved to be useless as they had been on a huge spaceship and he couldn't just leave it without another, smaller ship.

Not far away, Ki-Adi had been on his way to Coruscant, when he had felt something that immediately had forced him to come to a halt. The Force had been calling out to him, urging him to turn around and follow her lead.

The Master had arrived just in time to see a horde of space pirates trying to shoot down a helpless and defenceless couple on the ship hangar. He hadn't hesitated; drawing his lightsabre, Ki-Adi had stepped in front of them, protecting them from all the blaster shoots, while he ordered the frightened couple to run to his ship.

How exactly they had managed to reach the ship and escape the space pirates had been a miracle to all of them. The Cerean Master had been at the controls, manoeuvring the ship as far away from the pirates' ship as possible, when he had seen it. A small, but distinct tattoo, outing Baril as one of the space pirates.

But instead of denying his participating with the pirates, Baril just had pleaded Master to help him. The pirate would have done everything, even face justice if just the Master would have helped his wife. Ki-Adi had hesitated at first, but when he had felt nothing but honesty emitting from the man, the Cerean had resigned.

They had reached Alderaan in record time. The university hospital's doctors had tended the red haired woman immediately and though they had tried everything in their might, they couldn't safe her in the end.

Baril had been devastated. In mere hours he had lost everything dear to him. His profession, his income, his friends and finally, his wife. If it hadn't been for Ki-Adi, who had felt the man's distress clearly, Baril would have ended his life then and there.

In his hurt and desperation, the pirate had accused the Master of having no idea, of being a cold, heartless bastard. And though it had been unnoticeable, Ki-Adi had been angered by the accusation. With forced calmness he had told the hysterical widower that he hadn't been the only one that had lost someone dear to him. Mere weeks ago one of the Cerean Master's wives had died in a tragic accident. And though the Master may not have loved her as dearly and devotedly as Baril had loved his wife, Ki-Adi had still felt sorrow and pain at losing her.

Since then, many years had passed. Baril rethought his life, deciding to give it a new purpose. He started to occupy his mind with medical science, driven by the wish to prevent something like the tragic passing of his wife for other people. Soon, his colleagues acknowledged his work, spreading the fame and glory of his name further into the galaxy.

That was why Ki-Adi had persuaded the Council to send Tah'lara to Alderaan. If there was one person who could help, it was his friend Baril.

With a shaking of his head, the Cerean pushed the memories to the back of his mind. Remembering how he got to know Baril wouldn't help him. He had another, more pressing issue at hand.

"While tending to Knight Tah'lara, did you find something… off? Something that normally shouldn't be there, something special?"

The scientist hummed in consideration, his eye-brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. Something was on his mind, Ki-Adi realized, the former pirate just didn't know how to express it.

"Well", the human drawled, his voice hesitant. "There was indeed something off. It was nothing about her physical state, that I can assure you of. No, it was her mind that perplexed me." With a sigh, Baril raked his hand through his hair, an uncertain expression in his eyes. "Her mind was extremely instable to a level that it was nearly completely destroyed."

Baril sighed heavily and shook his head. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see the Master stiffen.

"That was why I advised her Healer to supervise her recovery with some therapies. With her current mental state, it would be dangerous for her to continue living like she used to. The tiniest problem could cause her mind to become too instable to fix again. Aside from that, I could detect nothing unusual. Why did you ask, Ki-Adi?"

The Master leaned back further, his arms crossed in a defensive posture over his chest. Baril may be his friend, however, he wasn't a Jedi therefore providing him with too much information could be harmful. Deciding to tell him a rather short version of what had happened, Ki-Adi regarded him with an inquisitive gaze.

"Knight Tah'lara bonded herself to a fellow Jedi. Whether it was done on purpose or just something she couldn't prevent, is still unknown to us. The Council hoped you could help us with this question."

Baril's eyes widened a little, only to narrow mere moments later in deep thought. For a few minutes, nothing happened; the scientist was still pondering. When the Master was finally about to tell him to let it be, Baril clicked his tongue, an unhappy expression on his face.

"I don't know much about the Zorya'anian race. Those are quite secretive fellows. I sent them a copy of the report I gave to this young Padawan, you know, in case something like this would happen to one of them in the future. It was a neat report with all the facts I could gather, symptoms and treatments and such."

A dry, harsh laughter escaped his lips as Baril shook his head in anger.

"I still haven't heard from them. One would think they would be a little more grateful for trying to help them." His face sobered as the scientist looked at the Master with contemplative eyes. "I don't think you will have further problems with Zorya'anian Jedi, though, Ki-Adi. I mean, I think this was a one-time thing. Her mind was extremely fragile, but thanks to the bond it will now be stable. I really don't think other Zorya'anian Jedi will experience the same."

Ki-Adi smiled a little at the last sentence. He knew that Baril couldn't be absolutely sure, however the scientist's reasoning made sense. Perhaps the incident had truly only something to do with Knight Tah'lara's instable mind.

Carefully he bowed his head, a small, sincere smile on his lips.

"Thank you, Baril. You helped us a lot."

* * *

><p>Obi-Wan sighed and closed his eyes.<p>

He had finally been released from the Healers' ward mere hours ago. Leaving the ward had been like a blessing. The last few hours had been torturous ones. The Healers had all been very cautious around him, never speaking to loudly, never showing too much emotions. It was as if they feared he would break should they grab him too harshly.

It drove the young Padawan nearly insane. Bless the Force for his Master. If the elder man hadn't been there, Obi-Wan was sure he would have snapped sooner than later, unpleasant consequences be damned.

Qui-Gon had tried to act as if nothing had happened. Perhaps nothing had changed in the Master's point of view. He was calm and collected as ever, radiating an aura of peacefulness and comfort, his eyes shining with understanding and on his lips was the ever soft, fond smile he had only for his Padawan.

On the other hand, perhaps this was one of the advantages of being an expert in the Living Force. Live in the moment, Obi-Wan could hear his Master tell him more than on one occasion. Don't think about what could be, instead figure out what is the best thing to do in a certain situation. It could well be that for Qui-Gon the future and all its possibilities truly were irrelevant.

Obi-Wan envied his Master that philosophy. Ever since they had returned to their quarters, the young Padawan had been restless. If only he could concentrate enough, the apprentice was sure he would be able to hear the tapping and scratching sounds of some Jedi preparing the apartment next to them for its new habitant.

The young man snorted and crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive posture.

But how could he not worry about what might happen? It wasn't something so trivial as the question whether he wanted to eat dinner in the cantina or in his quarters. No, it was a bond, a bloody, Sith-forsaken bond. It could change everything!

As a Jedi, he was supposed to be calm and collected in every kind of situation, he was to be attentive and aware of his surroundings, always concentrated. The bond, however, could change everything. What if he wouldn't shield his thoughts correctly? What if in the middle of a battle, an unexpected emotion would cause his concentration to falter? It could easily kill him. What if a strange feeling would make him loose his focus in an important negotiation? It could cost them important alliances.

However, the most important question was. What if he just couldn't get along with her? Obi-Wan had overheard his Master and Master Windu talking about possibilities to exploit the bond. The young Padawan had to shield his thoughts really hard at what he heard. That backstabbing… Council member. First, the Korun Master wanted to expel them from the Order and now he planned on sending them to the most difficult diplomatic missions.

No matter how much Qui-Gon had tried to reassure his apprentice, Obi-Wan still remained tense. The shielding of the bond was progressing nicely, though it would still need a lot of time and training until he would be able to feel stronger emotions without having to deliberately close the bond.

It was a small comfort, but at the moment he wouldn't at least been flooded with thoughts and emotions as soon as Knight Tah'lara would enter the room.

Something she would be doing any moment now.

The doorbell sounded, causing Obi-Wan to nearly jump out of his skin. Out of the corner of his eyes, the young Padawan saw his Master walking towards the door and opening it. The door opened with a hiss, immediately followed by the softly tapping sound of small feet walking. The Padawan could hear his Master's voice, followed by a female one, but he couldn't make out a single word they exchanged. His heartbeat was just drumming too loud in his ears.

A tentative knock at the door frame brought Obi-Wan forcefully back to reality.

Blinking, the Padawan focused on the person in front of him. It was the young woman who Obi-Wan had accompanied from Alderaan back to Coruscant, the one who had been sleeping in the stasis capsule. She was easy to recognize in the bright light of the common room.

His Master was nowhere to be seen. But that wasn't surprising, Obi-Wan pondered. Master Jinn had told him that he would give the two of them some time and space to get to know each other. The young man dearly wished his Master wouldn't.

The young woman's metallic blue eyes scanned the room with something akin to interest. She had to still suffer from the after-effects of the stasis, as her skin was a little too pale to look healthy. The way she stood there, her hands hidden in the sleeves of her white tunics, her back stiff and her shoulders tense, she looked as if she really didn't want to be there.

Probably that was even true.

When a few minutes passed and Obi-Wan still hadn't regained his ability to think clearly and speak, the young woman sighed. With a soft shaking of her head, the blond Knight locked her gaze with Obi-Wan's, forcing a smile on her lips and then nodding in greeting. Obi-Wan, still too dazed to react properly, just remained where he was, mirroring her greeting.

The young woman entered the room silently, looking a little bit lost while doing so. Without speaking, she reached the sitting area and sat down on the couch opposite of Obi-Wan.

Minutes dragged by and neither of them spoke. While the blond Knight was sitting on the couch, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her head a little turned to the side to watch the traffic outside the window, Obi-Wan was barely able to keep sitting still.

There was nothing more he wanted to do than jump up from his seat, run to his room and hide there for the rest of his life. But as much as he wished to just flee from this meeting, Obi-Wan just couldn't. He was a Jedi, after all, and Jedi didn't show weakness. They faced their fears without quivering. And so he would. So he sat there, his hands laying in his lap, playing unconsciously with the hem of his robes.

He knew the atmosphere was tense and most uncomfortable, but for the life of him, Obi-Wan couldn't think of something to say to start a conversation. _'Hi, so you must be that strange woman I am bonded to?' _Well, no, not the best topic. _'Hi, I'm Obi-Wan. We should probably start and get to know each other better, seeing as we will be stuck together for the rest of our lives.' _Not the most pleasant way to start a conversation, either. _'Hey, honestly, couldn't you have bonded yourself to someone else? This would have spared me a hell of a problem.' _Well, no.

A soft, rasping sound broke Obi-Wan free from his musing. On the other side of the couch table the young woman was coughing, a pained look on her face. As the Padawan had raised his gaze and looked over to her, his gaze had involuntarily crossed the tea can and the two cups his Master had previously placed there.

Remembering his manners, the young man's cheeks suddenly became extremely hot. Cursing under his breath, Obi-Wan realized he must be beat red at the moment.

"Would you… would you like some… tea?"

The young woman looked startled, but soon regained her composure, nodded and smiled tentatively at him. She must have given up the hope he would be speaking to her in a next hour, Obi-Wan realized with dread and sorrow.

The Padawan poured the Knight and himself a cup of tea, reaching over the table to push it towards still silent woman. Simultaneously, they grabbed their cups, closed their hands around them and brought them to their lips to take a sip. If he hadn't been too nervous, Obi-Wan would have laughed.

Minutes dragged by and Obi-Wan was still sipping his tea and thinking about the best approach to start a conversation, when the blond Knight suddenly sighed, placing her cup rather loudly onto the table.

With curiosity, Obi-Wan observed how she shook her head a little, a strange determined look in her eyes. Slowly, she stood up from her seat, straightening herself to her complete height. The young man's heart skipped a beat. He was already imagining her leaving. His Master would be very displeased with him if he found out that Obi-Wan hadn't even talked to her at all.

She sighed again and played with her fingers with her long, silvery blond hair.

"You know, there goes nothing. It really was a bad idea to try and start a conversation this way. I should have known before that it would never work out like that."

She shook her head again, causing Obi-Wan's heartbeat to speed up even more. She couldn't go, his mind was yelling at him. His Master had told him to speak to her, to get to know her better. It hadn't been a mere suggestion, no, it been an order. If she went to leave now, Qui-Gon would not only be displeased with his Padawan's behaviour, he would also be very disappointed.

And if there was one thing Obi-Wan couldn't take at all at the moment, then it was his Master's disappointment.

He gulped heavily, trying desperately to find something, anything to tell her, to make her stay. But she just shook her head a little, a sad smile on her lips. Not knowing what else to do, Obi-Wan was about to open his mouth, but the young Knight beat him to it.

"We should have tried this differently. The atmosphere is just as nice and bright as at a funeral. The knowledge of this bond hangs over us like an inevitable doom. This way, conversation is futile."

She straightened up even more and carefully hid her hands in the sleeves of her tunics. Then, with a soft smile and a little twinkle in her eyes, she bowed lightly to the perplexed Obi-Wan.

"Let's pretend the bond doesn't exist. It will make things a lot easier. So, hello, my name is Tah'lara. Pleased to meet you."

For a few seconds, Obi-Wan just stared at the young woman with widened eyes. But soon a small, but fond smile found its way to his lips and with a similar bow, the Padawan greeted the Knight.

"I am Obi-Wan Kenobi. Pleased to meet you, too."

With the smiles still in place, Tah'lara took her seat, looking at Obi-Wan expectantly but patiently to begin the conversation. Without thinking, the young man leaned back further into the couch, folded his hands in his lap and then just started talking, Tah'lara's bright metallic blue eyes never leaving his face, listening intently, a shy smile on her lips.

'_Yes,'_ Obi-Wan later thought. _'Pretending nothing was wrong was really a good idea. I could do that for a lot more time.'_


	8. Chapter 8

**8. Chapter**

Qui-Gon was sitting in the dimly lit kitchen, a datapad with the newest briefing of the Council meeting on it in his hands. The room was comfortingly quiet, no sound could be heard aside from Qui-Gon's finger scrolling over the tiny technical device.

The Master had been sitting there for the last few hours, his attention divided between the information provided by the Council and the two young Jedi sitting in the common room. Qui-Gon would never disturb them, would never enter the room when they were alone. No, he just sat there, in his chair in the kitchen, peering through the small crack in the door.

It wasn't like he didn't trust his Padawan or Tah'lara or was afraid they would do something they weren't supposed to do. No, far from it. However, sitting right next to them while they were trying to get to know each other better would be inappropriate, too. Both of them were eighteen, very reasonable and responsible. Sitting next to them would be as if he was acting as their chaperone.

But still the Master watched them. He didn't do it only for them and their safety, but for himself and his mind's peace.

Adi Gallia was most sure, just like her cousin Stass Allie, that the bond would create some sort of romantic feelings or at least something like friendly feelings; hoping that the feeling of dependence would transform into something deeper. It was probable, however Qui-Gon wasn't completely convinced.

Instead of friendship and love, the Master was sure there was another possibility, one that was more probable than the Tholothians' one.

Resentment. Anger. Hate.

Both alternatives were very probable. A bond, created out of free will and agreement would evocate affections on both sides, love even. But a forcefully forged bond, against the will of the bonded, could easily lead to much darker and sinister emotions. Who knew whether the minds were compatible or not? Who knew whether the personalities would complete each other or not? Such things were normally tested before the bond was forged.

Obi-Wan was a very promising apprentice. He studied a lot, never gave up on a difficult problem, was always focused and poured his heart into accomplishing his tasks. The way things had been, Qui-Gon knew that in a few years the young man would be suggested for the trials, which he would pass with flying colours and then be knighted. It would be just another step to a glorious career.

Now, with this bond, this future wasn't as certain anymore.

Qui-Gon sighed and shook his head. He had been so worried since Obi-Wan had woken up. He knew that he had hidden it completely from his Padawan, who had to be thinking that everything was fine with his Master. But it wasn't. How could it be? Qui-Gon was the young man's Master. How could he not care for his apprentice's future and well-being?

But there was nothing he could do, except preparing his Padawan for the first confrontation with his bonded partner and to teach him how to shield his mind. That wasn't all that much nor was it very satisfying, however, it had to do.

When the first meeting between Tah'lara and Obi-Wan was approaching, the Master found himself quite tense and anxious, though this was nothing compared to the nervous wreck his Padawan had been reduced to. Knowing the young man would be unable to help the Master prepare some things for the blond Knight's visit, Qui-Gon let him be. Out of the corner of his eyes, the elder man could see Obi-Wan trying different forms of meditation, anything that would help him stay calm.

Hadn't the situation been so dire, the Master might have found himself amused at his Padawan's antics. Obi-Wan had no problem with being sent into the most dangerous war zones, but meeting a young woman was nearly causing him to freak out in panic.

When the doorbell rang and the young man made no move to stand up and open the door, Qui-Gon sighed and shook his head. Obi-Wan was very talented when it came to diplomacy, easily finding the right words to appease and calm the different parties, but when it came to something as simple as small talk, his Padawan was at a loss as what to do.

After Tah'lara had entered and the Master had taken his leave to give them some privacy, minutes had passed and still neither of them had spoken. Uncertainty, nervousness and something akin to distraction was flooding the Master through the training bond. Obi-Wan didn't know what to do, he was struggling with the right words to help them out of this mess. Qui-Gon shook his head sadly and was about to step in and spare them the embarrassment of sitting next to each other in uncomfortable, strained silence, when suddenly Tah'lara took the lead and started a conversation.

Stunned, the Master remained sitting, his eyes and ears taking in the scene in front of him.

If there was one thing the young Knight and his Padawan had in common, then it was their aversion for meaningless small talk. For her to be the one to initiate a conversation was a major surprise. Carefully, the Master listened to the young Jedi, not at all surprised when their conversation only circled around not too personal and rather general topics.

Nevertheless, Qui-Gon was happy. They talked with each other. That was more than he had dared to hope for.

The days passed slowly, with Master and his apprentice mostly staying in their quarters, meditating and practicing how to correctly shield a mind and a bond. During the afternoons Tah'lara would come by, sitting in the common room and talking with Obi-Wan while Qui-Gon always sat in the small kitchen, his attention never leaving the two young Jedi.

And though their fragile friendship of sorts was growing, there was still one thing that caused the Master distress. Instead of accepting the bond and talking about different, possible ways to live with it, Obi-Wan and Tah'lara had come to the understanding that they would for the moment let the bond be and ignore it, living in denial for the time being.

The mere thought caused a feeling of foreboding to crush the Master. It was a possibility for the two of them to arrange themselves with this new situation at the beginning, but it was by no means a permanent condition. At some point and probably sooner than later, both would have to accept their situation. There was no way they could evade it forever.

However, accepting something like this would be a painful process, something Qui-Gon wished dearly he could spare his Padawan.

Suddenly a soft smile slowly found the way to the Master's lips and with a fond chuckle, Qui-Gon shook his head good naturedly when he heard his apprentice laugh light-heartedly. He would let things be for the time being. Both young Jedi were content with the arrangement and seemed truly happy. There was still enough time to think about consequences later. But first of all, a deep friendship between the two had to be forged.

Frowning a little at what he heard, a mischievous glint found its way to the Master's eyes.

Perhaps he should have a serious talk with Obi-Wan soon.

* * *

><p>In bright halls of the Temple, a female Jedi walked calmly through the long and deserted halls and corridors. Her hands were hidden in the sleeves of her tunics, her hood drawn deeply into her face. Outside, exotic flowers were blossoming, painting the scenery in all kinds of colours. And though it was a sight to behold, the female Master spared it no single glance.<p>

With measured steps, the Jedi approached the hall situated at the end of the corridor. It was as bright as the others, but different at the same time. Loud shouts could be heard, the hissing of a lightsaber cutting through the air, the clashing sound of two lightsabres crashing against each other and the clapping of several hands. The sound made the Master shake her head good-heartedly and smile a little benignly to herself.

Reaching the doors, the female Jedi pushed them open carefully, entering the huge halls without being noticed. Immediately the volume of the shouts and crashing sounds intensified. Waves of happiness, the excitement at being able to exert themselves, washed over the Master. For a Padawan, training was the most important thing. The combination of spending time with friends and the Master, learning something new, maybe even being able to show off a little and finally physical activity proved to be as important to them as the air they were breathing.

The Master stepped further into the room, strolling lazily through the hall, unnoticed by the exercising Padawans. Carefully she lost herself deeper into the Force, letting its presence surround her and guide her. She could feel the other Jedi's excitement even more, could literally hear their happily pounding hearts.

Through the mass of exhilarated Padawans, the Master could sense some more composed signatures. Reaching out for them, the Jedi could feel the serene calmness of the Force around them, anchoring the Padawans. One signature stood out to her more than the others, drawing her to it.

Having located the person to whom this signature belonged, the female Master paused and observed the training. The young Padawan was calm, her control over her emotions perfect. She swayed her lightsabre gracefully, never wavering, never stopping. With fluent movements she worked on her katas, swaying, turning and only stopping in her movements to start a new kata.

She was doing a fine job and yet the Master felt as sudden pang while watching her.

The Padawan hadn't learned this kata from her.

Taking in a shuddering breath, the Master tried with difficulties to calm her raging heart. Green eyes started to prickle and her heart clenched painfully as she realized what this had to mean. Her Padawan, the young woman who had been her charge for several years now, had learned a kata from someone else.

Whether the young woman had learned it through asking another Master, something the female Jedi hoped with all her heart that she hadn't as this would be a major blow for her and her reputation, by asking a fellow Padawan or by just watching them train it, the Noorian Master didn't know. But one things she could state with utter assurance, it had would have taken her Padawan a lot of time to learn this.

Swallowing painfully, the Master closed her eyes. Where had she been when her Padawan had learned this kata? Why hadn't the young woman come to her and asked her for help? Was she really that bad? Was she really neglecting her Padawan in such an obvious and fatal way?

The last few weeks passed by in her mind, only intensifying the feeling of a cold hand around her painfully beating heart.

She hadn't spent too much time in their quarters. Mostly she was at the Healers' ward, sitting next to the blond Knight laying motionlessly in the bed, holding her hand and telling her in a soothing voice what had happened while she had been out of it. Her Padawan didn't know where she had been, never had the Master felt the need to explain herself to her. And it wasn't her fault. The Council had deemed it a secret. She couldn't just have told her Padawan.

And when she wasn't in the Healers' ward, she spent most of her time in Qui-Gon's quarters, talking to him, enjoying the rare moments of solitude they could share, just listening to music or meditating next to him. And though her Padawan knew where she was, the younger woman would never call her there. All too well did she know how important those moments were to her Master. She wouldn't want to spoil the Noorian Master's time.

So when she was in her quarters, she mostly was just there to eat and to sleep. Of course she _did_ ask her Padawan how her day had been, if she needed help and how her studies and training progressed. But she never asked further, just nodding in understanding and acceptance as if she was trying to appease her guilty conscience.

Suddenly a sad, small smile found its way to her lips. All the other Masters had been right, she had truly neglected her Padawan. And in favour for someone who wasn't even her responsibility anymore. Everything had been more important to her than the well-being and the future of her charge.

A determined expression appeared on her face and with strength and resolve found anew, the Master pushed a strand of her long, black hair behind her ear and stepped forward.

Yes, she may have been a horrible Master to the young woman during the last few weeks. But that didn't mean she couldn't change that. With her former Padawan knighted and more or less entrusted into Qui-Gon's care, the Noorian Master would have all the time she needed to concentrate on her Padawan more.

Once the young woman had finished her last kata and breathed a sigh of relieve, the female Master stepped further forward and clapped softly, causing the young woman to spin around in surprise.

"Very good, Bant, very good. You have done nicely."

The soft words together with the fond smile on the Master's lips caused the young woman grow stiff in shock, only to blush a dark shade of red mere moments later. Coming to her senses, the young Mon Calamari noticed her still ignited lightsabre and, with another heavy blush, she turned it off.

"Master Tahl, t-thank you. I'm sorry, I didn't notice you before.

Her happy smile and the twinkle in her silvery eyes immediately vanished, only to be replaced by a sorrowful expression, leaving the Master shocked to the core. Instead of hearing the praise in her Master's words, all the young Mon Calamari could think of was that she hadn't sensed her Master approach. A failure in the young woman's eyes.

Suddenly the feeling of cold hands clenching around her heart was there again. She really must have failed her Padawan, Tahl realized. For everything Bant could think of, was how she had supposedly, yet again, done something wrong. How demoralizing must her Master's behaviour been for the young woman to leave her in such a state of distress.

Shaking her head to herself at her own stupidity, the Noorian Master tried to force a small smile on her lips.

"Nothing to worry about, my Padawan. I concealed my signature, as I didn't want to be noticed. And I am glad I choose to, because otherwise I would have missed your nice performance. I just came by to ask you to accompany me to the Healers' ward. It has been a long time since our last training session and I think something new is in order, don't you think?"

Tahl didn't need to be able to see to notice the immediate mood swing in her Padawan. A happy, broad smile was on the young woman's face and in her surprise the Mon Calamari forgot to shield correctly, causing a wave of excitement and contentedness to wash over the elder woman.

Thankfully, Bant was so immersed in her own feelings that she missed the small flinch that escaped her Master. This was just another prove for the Noorian Master's failure. No Padawan should be this excited at the prospect of training together with his or her Master. It should be something normal and natural, not an extraordinary event.

But if Tahl was honest with herself, in a strange way it was. Ever since she had learned of her Padawan's ability and wish to become a healer, the Master had entrusted the Mon Calamari's medical education into the competent hands of the other Healers. Never once had she bother to stay, to ask what else could be done to improve her progress, if there was anything she could do to help her.

But no more.

From now on, Tahl would take her responsibility as a Master seriously. And if that meant to become acquainted with something she had no knowledge of, then so be it. She had the luck to have had one Padawan who shared the same interest and talents as she did. She had no room to complain.

Nodding, the Noorian Master turned around and made her way to the Healers' ward, Bant trailing happily behind her.

Becoming acquainted with something new truly sounded like the perfect thing to do. This way, her mind would be kept occupied and wouldn't be able to wander off. Perhaps, she would even be able to enjoy this, instead of worrying all the time.

* * *

><p>Bant sighed happily as she rummaged around the archives.<p>

Her Master had left some minutes ago, stating that she had a meeting she truly needed to attend. She looked rather unhappy and unwilling to go, even telling her Padawan that if she needed help in any way, she just had to call and Tahl would be there for her.

And though her Master seemed to be a little troubled to leave her alone so soon again, Bant really didn't mind. The elder woman had been there, after all. She had asked the other Healers how her studies were progressing, if she could help the Mon Calamari in any way and what exactly she needed to focus on, when training with her. It may not have been much, but for Bant it was enough.

She had proved that she cared, that was all that counted to Bant.

The Mon Calamari didn't know what it was that had suddenly changed her Master's mind, but she was truly thankful for it. Ever since she became Tahl's Padawan, Bant had felt somewhat left alone, neglected even. She would often spend her free time Obi-Wan, pouring her heart out to him when she was left behind again while her Master was on a mission.

The memories made Bant smile mischievously. Poor Obi-Wan, he just couldn't cope with crying and sobbing women.

Perhaps things would change now. Perhaps those few weeks ago had been the last time she had to load her problems and worries on Obi-Wan. Bant really hoped so.

After Tahl had left and Bant had finished her training, Healer Shant allowed her to remain in the Healers' ward and go through some of the datapads documenting each Jedi's medical record, to see whether there was something of interest for her. After all, he told her, one learns best by trying things out.

Not to forget that it was a great chance to prove her trustworthiness.

As a Healer, she was bound to the professional discretion. No matter what she found out, she wasn't allowed to speak with anyone about it outside the Healers' ward. Only when she was practicing, she would be able to discuss illnesses of all sorts with her colleagues. It would be difficult, seeing as Bant was naturally curious and would love nothing more than share her interesting information.

With a happy smile on her lips, the Mon Calamari searched through the datapads, looking for names she knew. She found Master Tahl's medical record and though she wished nothing more than to find out how exactly the Noorian Master had been blinded, Bant didn't switch the datapad on. Her Master had never told her, she would have her reasons for being secretive and Bant would respect them.

Siri's medical history proved to be a failure. It was so incredibly boring. The only times the young woman had obviously been in the Healers' ward was for the required vaccination and the annual check-ups. Aside from that, there was nothing. No illnesses, no broken bones, no fractures, no scratches, just nothing. Siri must have been very cautious to never get injured during training or a mission. With a frown, Bant switched the datapad off and laid it back to the others. Such information didn't make it easier to like the blond Jedi.

Garen's medical wasn't that interesting either. No grave illnesses, no strange diseases. A broken bone here, a cut or a fracture there. Nothing really interesting. The young Mon Calamari was about to shut the datapad off with a frustrated sigh and place it back into the archive, when a small notice caught her attention. Obviously Garen's middle ears had been temporarily damaged due to too abrupt height difference, leaving him deaf and disorientated and puking for several days.

Bant chuckled, a mischievous glint in her silvery eyes. Such things were always good to know. She wouldn't use this information to blackmail Garen, no, she honestly wouldn't. She would merely remember this, should she ever be in need of a list of good and valid reasons to convince Garen to do something or not.

After some more rummaging, Bant finally came across the datapad she had been ultimately searching for. From the outside it looked just like the others, but once switched on, it showed a vast difference. It was much longer and more detailed than all the other medical records the young woman had seen so far.

With a fond smile on her lips, Bant placed the remaining datapads into the archive and took a seat. Of course, this medical was much longer than all the others. It was Obi-Wan's, after all.

Obi-Wan somehow managed to come back injured, sick or on the bridge to death after every single mission he took, no matter how supposedly easy and safe it was to be. For the younger Padawans it was an inside running gag, for the other Masters a reason to take pity on Master Jinn as he had to spend so much more time in the Healers' ward sitting next to his Padawan's bed than most others. And if by some strange miracle it wasn't Obi-Wan who came back injured, than one could be sure that someone else was in serious need of medical treatment.

Those who didn't know Obi-Wan, tended to say he always got injured because of his lack of attention or because he was scatter-brained, while those who didn't like the young man too much just smirked and told whoever wanted to hear it that Obi-Wan was just too stupid for his own good. Both theories were wrong, but sadly widely accepted throughout the Temple.

Bant, however, knew better. The only reason why her best friend always seemed to end up in the Healers' ward each time was because he just didn't know when to stop, always giving a problems his all, never minding his own health. That and he was a walking disaster waiting to happen. If there was something that could go wrong, one could be sure it would happen to Obi-Wan.

The young Mon Calamari didn't know how often she sat next to him at a hospital bed, stroking his hand and trying to calm him down. Every time Obi-Wan was there, he would just lean back into the soft cushions, close his eyes and ask no one in particular why the Force hated him so much. Bant meanwhile would just smile. She had, after all, her very own theory. In her eyes, the Force truly loved Obi-Wan. If not, he would have died several years ago.

Shaking her head, Bant switched the datapad on. Lazily she scrolled through the seemingly endless entries, stopping from time to time, sometimes smiling, and sometimes frowning. She knew every single entry by heart. Skipping the entry about Obi-Wan getting stuck in a strange, tropical plant which resulted in a highly allergic reaction for the young man, Bant suddenly frowned and stopped.

There was a new entry at the end.

Bant frowned and scrolled to the end of the page. For there to be a new entry would mean that Obi-Wan would have been at the Healers' ward again. The only question that remained was, when. After his solo mission her friend had only been allowed a night of rest. She had hoped he would be there the next afternoon, so that they would be able to spend some time together and go to that beautiful, hidden place she had stumbled across. However, when she was about to leave to visit him, Master Tahl had called her back and told her that both Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi were away on another mission.

Since his departure two ten-days had passed. And though her Master told her not to worry, Bant felt her stomach knot in nervousness. Obi-Wan had been sick when he had left. Perhaps this was why he had been in the Healers' ward. But that meant he would have been brought there immediately, right after he and his Master arrived at the Temple. And why hadn't Master Tahl told her that they had returned?

Scanning the entry, Bant sighed in a strange mix of relief and disappointment. Disappointment because the entry stated nothing about the nature of her friend's injuries, only that he had been brought to the Healers' ward ten days ago and relief because obviously he must had to be better, because he was released some days ago.

Something, though, didn't feel right. Why hadn't Obi-Wan told her he was back and okay? Squashing her worries quite forcefully, Bant shook her head. Perhaps he wasn't allowed to leave his quarters. After all, sometimes patients were released from the Healers' ward and allowed to go back to their quarters, but under the condition to remain there and relax.

Perhaps that was what had happened to Obi-Wan. At least it would explain why she hadn't neither been informed by her Master nor by her friend that he was back at the Temple again. Master Jinn must have forbidden him to contact her, knowing all too well, that the young Padawan would never be able to rest and relax completely should Bant be there.

A mischievous glint appeared in her silvery eyes and with a small smirk on her lips, Bant switched the datapad off. Well, her Master hadn't allowed her to visit her friend during the last few days, but neither Master Tahl nor Master Jinn could do something against her just randomly coming by the Jedi Jinn and Kenobi quarters.

With a soft smirk on her lips, Bant placed Obi-Wan's datapad back into the archive and left the Healers' ward.

Time to search for Garen. He would want to be there, too.

* * *

><p>"So, did I understand this correctly? Master Tahl was your Master? That means you must be very close with Master Jinn, too?"<p>

The young Knight nodded, her blond hair following softly the movements of her head. A small but happy smile was on her lips and a fond look appeared in her metallic blue eyes as she regarded the young Padawan in front of her.

"Yes, Tahl was my Master, well, even more than that. And seeing how Qui-Gon and Tahl were already good friends back then, your Master spent a lot of time with us. He often would come by during the afternoons to have dinner with us. He was the only one who managed to cook for her without being punished."

Obi-Wan chuckled a little and shook his head good-naturedly. What Tah'lara had said was true, Master Tahl was a hell of a fury when someone tried to patronize her. The Padawan had experienced it often enough. His Master may be the only one allowed to cook for her, but still Master Tahl would behead him, if he tried to patronize her too much.

A small movement opposite of him brought him back to reality. The blond Knight's metallic blue eyes were fixed upon his face, a curious look in them. The way she titled her head to the side, causing her hair to fall lightly into her face and looking so damn innocent, caused Obi-Wan to swallow drily.

"What happened to Xanatos, by the way? I couldn't trace his signature inside the Temple."

The sudden mention of the name caused Obi-Wan to make a funny, chocked sound inside his throat. Coughing, the young Padawan tried to regain his control over his rapidly beating heart. After some consideration, Obi-Wan tried to answer truthfully but in a careful way.

"Well, that would be because he isn't at the Temple."

Not a lie, but not the entire truth either. Tah'lara seemed to be missing the hinted message, as a small but fond smile found its way to her lips and her eyes twinkled a little.

"So, he is on a mission then? I should have known it, Xanatos was never one to stay at the Temple for long. He liked adventures and the luxurious lifestyle too much for that."

The fond and happy look in Tah'lara's eyes caused Obi-Wan to squirm uncomfortably in his seat. A strange feeling of fire burning his stomach, knitting it painfully, overcame him. Should he tell her? She obviously liked Xanatos; his fate would only cause her pain. But didn't she deserve to know?

Coming to a decision, Obi-Wan exhaled slowly, his eyes never leaving the blond Knight's face.

"He isn't away on a mission, Tah'lara." The look of utter confusion and lack of understanding forced the young Padawan to explain further. "In fact he hasn't been at the Temple for some years. I-I'm sorry, Tah'lara, but he died three years ago."

Her blue eyes widened immensely, only to be then closed, forcefully. Slowly her trembling hand found its way to her mouth and covered it. And though Obi-Wan wasn't able to see her lips, he could see her swallow heavily. For some moments only her shallow breaths echoed through the room, causing the young man to feel extremely uncomfortable.

"How?", Tah'lara forced the simple question through her teeth.

"He killed himself." Obi-Wan sighed, searching for the right words as Tah'lara's eyes looked at him startled. "Xanatos was about to be knighted when he turned away from the Order. His trial was held at his home planet and thanks to his father's influence, Xanatos decided to leave the Order. He became a Sith, forcing the Council to send out search troops after him. Three years later, Master Jinn and I were sent after him. When we cornered him, Xanatos decided to kill himself instead of accepting his punishment."

The blond Knight sighed and shook her head sadly. Well, she couldn't say she was too surprised. Xanatos had always been much too ambitious and passionate for a Jedi. But for him to turn away from the Order was something she hadn't expected.

Pushing the painful thoughts into a faraway and dark corner of her mind, Tah'lara looked at Obi-Wan imploringly.

"Do you know by any chance, what happened to Tahl's eyesight? I didn't come across the right time to ask her."

The sudden change of topic surprised Obi-Wan. Just mere seconds before Tah'lara had obviously been grieving for her fellow Padawan. But now her eyes shone with interest and a soft smile was on her lips. She must be suppressing her sorrow, the young Padawan realized. Pushing it back long enough until she was alone again and could grieve undisturbed. Or she was just a master at releasing her emotions into the Force.

Obi-Wan would grant her the space she needed.

"Master Tahl was on a diplomatic mission on Melida/Daan. Something went wrong and she was kidnapped. What exactly happened during captivity, I can't tell you. Master Tahl never let anyone else in on what she had to endure. Master Jinn and I were send out to rescue her and though we managed, we arrived too late in the end. The Healers couldn't safe her eyesight."

Tah'lara hummed and nodded in consideration. Suddenly a small, but fond smile found its way to her lips. With a mischievous glint in her eyes, the blond Knight leaned back further into the couch and regarded Obi-Wan with an intense gaze.

"Another mission that had gone awry, huh? First Xanatos, then Tahl?" A fond chuckle escaped her lips and the mischievous glint intensified dramatically. "Seems like something always has to go wrong during your missions. But I shouldn't be surprised, after all, Stass told me you hold the unofficial record for the most frequent stays in the Healers' ward."

Her laughter only intensified as she saw Obi-Wan's indignantly and embarrassedly blushing face. With an exasperated huff, the young Padawan teasingly nudged the blond Knights shoulder across the table and was about to tell her what exactly he thought of Knight Allie's opinion, only that he was too late for that.

Unbeknownst to them the door to the quarters had opened with a hiss and two people had entered.

"Obi-Wan, you mean, little thing of a friend! Why didn't you tell us that… you were… back." Coughing uncomfortably, Garen observed the scene in front of him with an interested gaze. "Did I just interrupt something?"

The last sentence caused both blond Jedi to blush and shake their heads vigorously in denial. Of course Garen would think something was going on between them. Both had been laughing causing their faces flush lightly, Obi-Wan's hand still on Tah'lara's shoulder, the atmosphere somewhat relaxed; it wasn't often that Obi-Wan was found in such a situation. To be honest, this had to be the first time.

Both Jedi immediately shifted back into their seats, searching desperately for the right words. But before one of them could even open the mouth and try to explain the strange situation and clear up the obvious misunderstanding, Bant stepped forward. With an eerily happy and sweet smile and a dangerous glint in her eyes, the Mon Calamari put a hand over Garen's mouth and started to forcefully pull him back.

"We will come by later, Obi-Wan. I am sorry that we disturbed you. Don't mind us two leaving."

With her scary smile firmly in place, Bant dragged Garen out of the quarters. A last wave and a happy "See you soon!" later, both had left, leaving behind two extremely confused Jedi.

Tah'lara blinked, her metallic blue eyes never leaving the former place of the retreating backs of a still struggling and loudly complaining Garen and the impishly smiling and waving Bant. Soon the door shut with a sharp hiss, but neither of them realized it.

Shaking her head, the blond Knight sighed and leaned back further into the couch.

"Well, that was awkward."

Swallowing heavily, Obi-Wan could do nothing more than nod. A low sigh escaped his lips and he warily closed his eyes as he leaned back further and imagined what might happen now. Bant and Garen knew something was going on, it was merely a matter of time until the rest of the Order did, too.

Yes, things would really turn out to be awkward.


	9. Chapter 9

**9. Chapter**

The soft sound of clothes rustling echoed through the room.

In the far end of the simple but nicely decorated chambers a small figure sat in a huge armchair. Aside from the lonely figure and the few pieces of furniture covering one's basic needs, no one else was in the room.

A soft thud, follow by even softer rustling, broke through the silence as the young woman sunk deeper into the chair and drew her knees closer to her frail body. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around her knees, thin fingers clenching in her light brown robes. Her body hunched forward until her chin rested upon her knees and a low sigh escaped her, as her shoulders dropped.

The light in the silent room was dimmed, creating long and bizarre shadows on the plain white walls. The soft, indirect light of the several, small lamps placed at the walls and tables just wasn't enough to illuminate the room sufficiently. Perfumed candles were placed decoratively on different shelves and table, creating a lovely, sweet aroma, so very similar to the odour of the tropical flowers on Yavin IV.

In the background, melodic tunes of flutes and other Ortolan native instruments created a relaxing, harmonious atmosphere, the plate with various round, white stones laying on it and the huge cup of hot, sugared tea standing right in front of her just made the atmosphere perfect.

And yet, the young woman noticed nothing of this.

She didn't feel relaxed and calm as the dim light, the melodic music, the odour of days off and sunshine and finally the hot tea were supposed to make her feel. No, instead of warmth and contentedness washing over her body, calming her mind, the strange, nagging feeling remained, slowly eating away her resolve and strength.

Her entire being felt torn, as if small, eager hands were grabbing every single part of her body and skin they could get a hold on and were pulling with all their might in different directions. It was disturbing and aggravating, tearing her resolve and patience down. Not even meditation was helping her ease those feelings.

When she finally managed to calm the storm of feelings that raged in her soul, it didn't take long for it to regain its strength. She couldn't work, she couldn't read, Force, she couldn't even think properly. Each time she sat down, mere seconds later she jumped up from her place, giving in to the need to do something, anything. But if only she could do something.

Her concentration was fleeting, her strength ceasing and her self-restrain nearly none-existent. She couldn't concentrate, her thoughts running wild and her mind spacing out rapidly. And if that wasn't enough, she started to become clumsy.

If her former Master was ever to find out how many dishes and glasses had found their painful end at her kitchen floor, she would never let her live that down.

Gazing at the perfectly round and white stones laying on the plate, which were reflecting the light brokenly, Tah'lara remembered what Healer Shant had told her not too long ago. A dry smile appeared on her lips and an unhappy snort echoed through the room as she replayed the conversation in her head.

The Mon Calamari had been very worried when they had spoken the last time. Obviously he wasn't too happy with how she was coping with this situation and how her mind was trying to wrap itself around the uncomfortable facts. Unconsciously, he had extended his dry hand and laid it upon her knee, trying to offer comfort and understanding.

The sudden contact had startled Tah'lara and, as she wasn't too fond of skin on skin contact with people she barely knew, she involuntarily stiffened. Healer Shant, whose thoughts obviously had been elsewhere, had nevertheless felt change in her demeanour. With an unhappy grimace, the young Healer had pulled his hand away.

Obviously, it was to be expected that her path of recovery would be a stony and long one. She had, as he had put it so nicely and comfortingly, been as good as dead. Most of his colleagues had already given up on her chances of recovery and those of survival. This caused the young woman to smile grimly. It was always nice to hear how much faith other Jedi had in her will to survive.

Healer Shant sadly was too immersed in the young Knight's healing report to even notice the dark expression appearing on her otherwise impassive face.

It was a wonder she had survived, he told her. And as it was such a wonder, of course, her recovery would take some time. Not only had her body to work on regaining its strength, the damage done to her cells and genes would need to be mended, too.

But what would take up most of her time for a full recovery wasn't the physical, but her psychological convalescence.

In her memory, there was a huge hole. Twenty years were just missing, gone, evaporated, just not there. For a mind, Healer Shant had explained her with a soft and pitiful edge in his voice, this was something it couldn't work with. To fall asleep one night only to wake up twenty years later was something it couldn't understand, couldn't fathom.

It would drive one insane.

So to fill this huge, black hole, her mind had involuntarily started to mend the loose ends. Qui-Gon's last visit then was neatly associated with his first visit now. Master Tahl had been there, too. Holding her hands when she fell asleep then and still holding it when she woke up again after over twenty years. The Council members had been there, worrying over her well-being and her friends had been there, trying to ease her and their own worries.

It fit, but not too well.

There were things that just didn't work out. The age difference, especially noticeable on Adi and Stass, her fellow Jedi's relationships, Tahl who just like Qui-Gon had a new Padawan, and most of all their current status. Some of her former fellow Padawans were now Knights and some even managed to archive the rank of Masters. So many things had happened, so much time had passed and she had all missed it.

Healer Shant had told her to accept those changes. If she kept on remembering and thinking about how things were supposed to be, she would never be able to recover. Just accept it, he had told her, open your mind and embrace all the changes and the new possibilities laying ahead of you.

Well, easier said than done.

Tah'lara had tried; for the last few weeks she had done nothing except being open-minded and embracing what changes she could figure out. But accepting those changes was so much more difficult than she had expected it to be. Whenever she thought she finally had everything under control, something unexpected, something unpredictable, something new popped up out of nowhere, startling her out of her calmness and control.

Had she been transported into a completely unknown and different world, had she woken up in a time where everything was different, things would have been so much easier for her. But no, she hadn't. She had woken up in the future, but not too far away from her own time to cause some drastic changes. Everything was still familiar, the Temple, her fellow Jedi, the current politic. It was familiar, hauntingly familiar, but at the same time it was oh so different.

So many things had changed.

Master Tahl had taken on another Padawan. When she had heard of this special piece of information for the first time, Tah'lara had felt a deep ache in her heart. It wasn't as if she didn't feel happy for Tahl to find another young apprentice who had found his or her way into the brooding and very emotionally guarded Master's heart. No, far from it.

The Noorian Master must have suffered greatly during the years of Tah'lara's absence. Too many bad things had happened at that time, so many things indeed that the blond Knight wouldn't have been surprised in the least, had her Master started to doubt the Force's guiding. A wry smile graced the young woman's lips as she remembered those times.

She had just reached the age of eighteen then and couldn't have been happier at that time. The Council and her Master were very satisfied with her educational development and finally granted her a special honour. Her first solo mission. For someone of her age being allowed to go on a mission alone was a huge step forward. Tah'lara remembered the pride and the happiness in her Master's eyes when she boarded the ship alone.

Everything was perfect, warm contentedness spreading through her as she was typing in the coordinates of her destination and watched the ship take off.

Perhaps she hadn't been careful enough, perhaps her attention wasn't focused solely onto the mission laying in front of her as she basked in her feeling of satisfaction. Because suddenly, everything went awry. The mission turned out to become a disaster, her life was suddenly at stake and her survival not that probable. How she had managed to live through it in the end, she just couldn't fathom. Finally, after horrible days of torture, she somehow managed to come back to the Temple, heavily injured and nothing more than a shadow of her former self.

Her Master stayed at her bedside for the whole duration of her stay in the Healers' ward. Never once did she leave her young apprentice's side. When the Councillors came to hear what had happened and what had gone wrong, Tahl had secretly been holding her had. Not even when the Council wished for her to come and discuss how to proceed from this point on, had she left Tah'lara's side.

After two long ten-days, Tah'lara's health was finally starting to improve. Inwardly, she prepared herself for the scolding and reprimanding she would have to suffer through from the Council's side. After all, she had embarrassed herself greatly. The Council and her Master had trusted her to be able to fulfil this mission and yet she had failed so dramatically. There was no way they would be pleased with what had happened.

But to her immense shock, neither had she been scolded, nor had she been reprimanded. In his firm voice, Master Windu had told her that for a Padawan of her age, she had done great. The situation she had found herself in had been a very dangerous one and for her to be able to escape and solve the problem, was more than they could have expected. It was then that she had been granted her Knighthood.

With a sorrowful look in her eyes, Tah'lara remembered what had happened after her knighting ceremony. In retrospect, she now knew it had been much too unexpected. Neither she nor her Master had been prepared for the sudden separation. Both of them felt lost and alone. But even before Tah'lara had had time to get used to suddenly living alone for the first time in her young life, she fell fatally ill.

There wasn't much she could remember from those fateful days. She could remember frantic shouting that she was having a seizure, that her heartbeat was irregular and just about to cease completely, her former Master's distress and worry at seeing her in such a state and the Healers growing desperation after each failed attempt to find out what was wrong with her.

She had been in pain, horrible pain. Her whole body felt like it had been on fire and her insides had felt torn, as if her body had been rejecting her blood. Just lying there had brought tears to her eyes, breathing had become pure torture. At some point she must have lost consciousness, be it through her body giving up because of pain or because of the Healers trying to help her by applying some sedation. Suddenly everything had become fuzzy and black and then she knew no more.

When she opened her eyes again, the smiling, but aged face of her former Master was peering down at her.

Heaving a sigh, Tah'lara curled up further into a ball. Master Tahl wasn't the only one who had changed dramatically over the last twenty years. Her former fellow Padawans had all reached their knighthood. It shouldn't surprise her at all. They had been around her age back then, so twenty years should be more than enough for them to reach the next level.

And still it hit her quite harshly seeing Stass Allie next to her bed and tending to her, having reached her knighthood years ago and currently on the brick of becoming a Healer. The young, enthusiastic girl had been replaced by strong willed and down-to-earth woman. The fond look she reserved for only her best friends was still in her eyes, but she just wasn't the same anymore.

When Kit Fisto had visited her the next day, Tah'lara had been reduced to a lot of staring. Force, her friend had changed so much. In his youth and his Youngling years, Kit was a promising talent in the areas of sword wielding and combat. And still he had had problems with finding a Master. It wasn't as if he wasn't good enough for them, he just had some difficulty with keeping his emotions in check and to himself.

It wasn't as if he wasn't unable to control his emotions. No, he was very advanced in reigning in his emotions. His lack of control had been a biological one, though the timing had been rather bad. Like every other being of his race, Kit was able to feel another person's emotions over the sensitive olfactory receptors on his distinctive head tentacles. His ability to feel and decipher other people's emotions had grown rapidly over the last few years. Sadly just after his twelfth birthday, the wave of emotions crashing over him had crushed him, causing him to stumble in his path.

Thankfully another Nautolan Master had noticed young Kit's struggle and took it upon him to teach him how to shield himself from the incoming flood of emotions.

Tah'lara didn't know why she was surprised so much, but somehow she must have expected to still see something of him from during his Padawan years gleaming through. Perhaps the boyish smile on his lips, the teasing glint in his eyes or the way he always stood like nothing could throw him off his way. And even though parts of this still seemed to have survived, Kit had changed dramatically. He was a powerful Knight, firmly centred in the Force. Gone was the boy, replaced by a young, mature man.

It caused Tah'lara's heart to clench painfully at seeing him this way.

The same applied for Luminara Unduli. In her years of a Padawan, the Mirialan girl had been very brash in her company with others and had liked to pick up fights a lot. She had been something like the informal leader of their group, the one to always come up with something to do and the one to always take the blame should her plan go wrong. Tah'lara had been sure she couldn't have changed too much. That wasn't in her personality.

How wrong she was.

A serene and quiet, though strength and wisdom radiating woman had greeted her the next day. Gone was the tomboyish behaviour, gone the need to prove herself to others. Like Stass, Luminara had chosen to undergo the Healer's training course, seeing as how strong her control of the Force was. Tah'lara couldn't help herself and started to stare. Hadn't she been able to feel that this woman was indeed Luminara, she wouldn't have believed it. It was her case, which made her understand, unconsciously, but with brutal force, how dramatically things had changed.

Would she have been like them? If she hadn't fallen ill and hadn't been put into stasis, would she be as mature and strong and wise as them?

Or would she have died like Xanatos had?

Thinking about the young man, who had once been Qui-Gon's beloved pupil, caused another wave of grieve to wash over her. Xanatos and she may not have been best friends, no, far from it, but still they had formed something resembling to mutual respect. Due to their Masters' closeness, the two of them had been spending more time together than they had wished for.

She still couldn't believe that he had died as a traitor. Truth be told, he always had been very arrogant and self-centred for a Jedi, but many of them had their faults, some even worse than Xanatos. To know that he had left the Order, left his Master and broke the poor man's heart in the process had shocked Tah'lara to no end. For a few seconds she wished he was alive, so she could grant him the dressing down the boy had obviously needed dearly.

But when her anger at Qui-Gon's unfair treatment had vanished, only sorrow and grieve remained. Xanatos was another proof of how much life had changed. Her heart clenched painfully and for a short moment her vision became blurry, as she remembered those few moments the two of them had just been happy. Yesterday, when Obi-Wan had told her about Xanatos' demise, she had acted as if nothing had happened. The young Padawan surely must have thought she was heartless and cold. But she couldn't have shown her sorrow in his presence. They barely knew each other. It would be wrong to cry and grieve in his presence.

No matter how much she would have needed it.

A sigh escaped her and a lonely tear slowly rolled down her cheek. Had Xanatos really needed to die? Had there been no other solution for him than to turn his back onto the Order, to leave those who had become his family behind? Was it her fault? Hadn't she been there when he needed her? Could she have prevented him from leaving, make him see how utterly wrong his doing was?

Only the Force could tell.

She knew it was wrong to ponder those thoughts, as they would only make her feel worse. But she couldn't help it. Seeing how everything had developed so far and had changed so much, she couldn't help but wonder how her life may have turned out.

Curling herself further into a ball, Tah'lara sighed and closed her eyes. She would never find this out. While everyone had been living their lives, she had been sleeping, missing so much. Everything was different, looked different, _felt_ different.

Why was she here anyway? She didn't belong here, neither the time nor the place was right. She should live in the past, not in this strange future were nothing was like she had expected it to be. Nor should she live in a small quarter next to Qui-Gon's. Her quarters should be somewhere in the Knights' section, a nice, small two rooms quarter, next to her friends' ones.

She didn't belong here, probably never would. It felt wrong to be here, in her eighteen years old body, while everyone else had not only aged but changed, too. She didn't belong to the eighteen years olds, to the senior Padawans. What was she to do with them to get to know them? They didn't have classes nor practice together, so how was she to speak with them?

But neither could she associate with the young Knights. She knew not one of them. Well, how should she? They were in their early to mid-twenties meaning they were Initiates when Tah'lara had lived in the past. Theoretically she may have gotten to know them, but seeing as how she had been on missions with her Master Tahl constantly, she probably hadn't even meet them once.

And finally there were her friends. The firm bonds of friendship they shared had lasted through twenty years absence, but even though they were able to have fun and act like nothing had happened, things just weren't like they had been before. While they were senior Knights and would probably soon be granted their title of Master, Tah'lara was just a young, inexperienced Knight. There lay worlds between them.

She was so lonely, so horribly, heart-breaking lonely. She didn't belong in this time and no matter how hard she tried to get used to living in her future, no matter how much she tried to live in the here and then as Qui-Gon had taught her to, to accept her fate, she just couldn't.

She didn't belong here. It was _wrong._

Hadn't it been for Qui-Gon's and Tahl's warm and enthusiastic greeting and their open armed welcome back, she probably would have given up already. She needed them, needed them to remind her that it was okay for her to be here, that she was welcome here and accepted. They helped her live through the turmoil her life suddenly had turned out to be. She needed them.

Them and Obi-Wan.

Thinking about the blue-eyed young man, with his spiky, blond hair and the mischievous smile on his lips, eased a bit of the pain in Tah'lara's heart and lifted some weight off her shoulders.

She didn't think he knew how important he was to her. How much it helped her to feel his will to live, achieve the best and the need to please his Master even through their shielded bond. She could feel his happiness, his pent up emotions slipping through his tight control. And though she didn't want to imagine what he might sense from her, having his emotions seeping through the bond healed and helped her so much.

To know that he didn't see their bond as something forced, as a huge burden, was all she had wished for.

He was her anchor, the one to bind her into the here and now. He was the reason she was here at the moment. She should thank him for that. And for being there for her when she needed someone.

And though she knew that for a Jedi, this kind of bond and affection should be sufficient, she still felt lonely and a horrible, dark void where her heart should be.

It just wasn't enough.

* * *

><p>The sharp, hissing sound of a lightsabre being swung through the air filled the high, but bare training hall.<p>

Slowly, Obi-Wan exhaled a breath which he had been holding for so long and relaxed. His eyes were nearly completely closed, not taking in the sight of the other Padawans and Masters training around him. And though he couldn't see anything, the young Padawan was able to distinguish every single aspect of the room. He had lost himself deeply into the Force, allowing him to see just as fine as if his eyes were wide open.

A small smile spread over the young man's lips and he sighed contentedly as another wave of pleasant warmth washed over him.

The Force was soothing him, wrapping itself around him like a comforting blanket and stroking his agitated emotions. It was so calming, peaceful and comforting, like warm rays of sunlight on a freezing winter day on cold skin or a long sip of cold water after a tiring training session; in other words it was utmost bliss. Never before had Obi-Wan felt like that.

When he had been training all those years before, Obi-Wan had always tried to lose himself into the depth of the Force but he had never quite managed to do so completely. A small part of his consciousness had always remained separated and, though no matter how small, it always was enough to disrupt his concentration.

A shout here, a suddenly spiking emotion there, had always been enough to hinder his connection with the Force. He would shake his head exasperatedly, prepare himself and then try again, with more effort and fervour. But the more he tried, the more and more difficult it would become. Finally, when his grasp onto the Force would have nearly vanished, leaving the Force slipping through his fingers like water through his mere hands, Obi-Wan would give up in exasperation.

His inability to lose himself completely into the Force was slowly eating away his self-esteem. There had been younger and less experienced Padawan who were able to achieve what had been kept from him with such easiness, the mere memory was too much to bear. Often Obi-Wan found himself sitting alone in his rooms, staring gloomily at the wall in front of him and pondering why in the world he was unable to fulfil this small task.

Only his Master's patience and soft insistence that he wasn't a failure, that Obi-Wan was only having difficulties to delve completely into the Force was because he was excelling in another part, kept him from giving up. Instead of being aware and attentive of what was currently going on around him, the Padawan could feel and see what the future had in store for them. It was a very different way to use the Force and that was what was hindering his progress.

So when after two and a half ten-days Obi-Wan had been ordered by his Master to continue with his training, the young Padawan's heart sunk at the mere thought of yet another failure. A heavy pressure caused him problems with breathing and his skin was suddenly very sensitive. In his mind, the young man had resigned himself to his fate, knowing that this would be another shameful attempt, witnessed by so many others who could do so much better.

With dread, Obi-Wan took his place in the training hall, grabbed his lightsaber and tried to centre himself. After another calming breath, the young Padawan closed his eyes and delved into the Force.

But instead of having to fight to let go of his emotions, leaving a part of his mind inevitably behind, the Force welcomed him warmly. For some time, Obi-Wan just stood there stunned. Then, when nothing changed and the warm feeling still spread through his body, the young Padawan made a tentative step further into the Force, only to be greeted by its welcoming, open arms.

The feeling was addictive. Warmth and calmness spread through his body, appeasing his agitated mind and anchoring him into the Force. The Padawan raised his lightsaber and started the first kata. When the young man had completed it, he immediately started with the next one. Soon, Obi-Wan had lost himself not only in the Force but in his katas, too.

Whenever the young man reached a part of a kata that he normally had problems with, the Force took the lead and guided him carefully through it. It was amazing to see and feel how movements and combinations he always struggled with suddenly lost their difficulty and suddenly became easy and unproblematic to perform. With his motivation and astonishment spiked, Obi-Wan worked through his katas again and again, each time with even less struggle.

Time flew by, but the young man didn't even realize it. When he finally stopped, his breathing came out a little laboured, but he didn't mind. Shaking his head a little in incredulity, Obi-Wan switched his lightsaber off and placed it at his belt. He had made so much more progress during this single training session than in all the ones of the last half year put together.

Something must have changed. The Force had been so much easier to grab and wield, his precision had grown and his knowledge about what exactly to do at which point had increased so much, it was all but mystifying. His anxiety had vanished, only to be replaced by utter calmness and control. What happened today was really strange. But not that Obi-Wan was complaining about it, no, far from it. With so much progress in his training and his katas, the young man couldn't help but feel satisfied.

While taking a short shower and making himself presentable, the young man's mind wandered aimlessly. The only possible explanation for his sudden progress and new found abilities concerning the use of the Force would be that, somehow, the bond had helped him.

The thought caused the Padawan to stop in his tracks. The bond between Tah'lara and him had been growing steadily and would continue doing so until it reached its full growth and potential. A long time would pass until this would happen. Obi-Wan had feared that for the next few years, Tah'lara and he would be unable to be separated and would have to stay close to each other no matter what.

Obviously he had been sadly misinformed about the nature of bonds. Because just yesterday, his Master had told him that their practice and training to shield their minds and the connection was good enough already. Obi-Wan had been bewildered by that piece of information. Truth be told, they had been getting better at shielding their minds, but they were still far away from having perfected it.

The shields were able to hold off strong emotions and most of their thoughts. But still, there was enough space and cracks to allow something to seep into the mind of the other. Obi-Wan was still able to pinpoint Tah'lara's exact position anywhere inside the Temple complex and he was still able to tell about her more general type of emotions she was currently experiencing, be it affection, calmness, happiness or even more private ones like sadness and discomfort.

But most important of all was that he was still able to talk to her through their bond, even with her shields raised. This was something that would never change. No matter how much and strong they would shield their minds, they would always be able to reach the other. For Obi-Wan it was a scary thought, nibbling away his inner strength and resolution.

One of the Mind Healers had asked him a few days ago, how Obi-Wan felt about the constant presence of the young woman in his mind. How he felt about her emotions seeping into his mind and his obvious ever-present need to make sure she was okay. How he felt about it? The young Padawan hadn't known whether to punch the Healer for his stupid question and the unfitting benevolent smile on his lips or just to laugh hysterically until someone would decide to lock him away forever.

Her presence was strange, unnerving even, but there was nothing they could do about it, so why fret and get angry about something that couldn't be changed? It would be so very useless. So the only intelligent thing would be to accept the connection and try to make the best of it.

After a lot of meditating and shielding, only a small part of their minds would still be accessible. This arrangement wasn't perfect, no, far from it, but it was the best they would get. It would take some time, the Mind Healer had explained, until they would both be used to the other's presence and not notice it anymore. A lot of time, he had whispered.

Not that time was a bad thing, they would have plenty of it. After all, there was no way to break this bond.

Shaking his head to brush aside this bitter memory, Obi-Wan finished cleaning himself and started to pack his things. He was being unfair and he knew it. Tah'lara hadn't planned to bond with him, she was suffering from those consequences just as much as he did. More, perhaps even. A few days ago, when her shielding had slipped for mere seconds, Obi-Wan had more felt than heard how she was holding solely herself responsible for what had happened.

The young Padawan hadn't addressed this strange thought, nor the feeling of guilt. He had wanted to, but he hadn't been able to find the right words. So, instead of making sure that everything was all right with her, Obi-Wan had just kept quiet.

He should have spoken to her, he admonished himself. It wasn't like everything that came with the bond was bad. It had taken him some time to figure this out, but now Obi-Wan was sure that the bond might offer some nice advantages for them, too.

The bond anchored her, bound her to him. Normally this would have been frowned upon, but in her case, things were different. After having been in a comatose state for twenty years, waking up in a completely different world, bordering to foreign, it was good to have someone who anchored her to this time. That was what his purpose was, to make sure she was alright and moving on.

His heart pounded painfully and the feeling of a cold hand clenching around him only intensified the pain. So far, Obi-Wan had done a lousy job.

The feeling of guilt and shame only intensified when he thought about what Tah'lara had done for him in return. Just like he had done, she had anchored him. Ever since the bond had truly manifested between them, Obi-Wan had felt more calm and composed than ever before in his life. He had been confused at first, not knowing where this sudden change came from. But after a long session of meditation he had found out.

It was the bond, well, their not completely shielded minds to be more concrete. Calmness and inner harmony were leaking through the bond, covering his own feelings and interfering with the way he acted around others. Obi-Wan hadn't realized this change at first, it needed his Master's praise for his sudden improvement in all things requiring inner calmness and concentration.

Of course, it hadn't been him, who had suddenly improved. It had been Tah'lara. Thanks to her calm and controlled state of mind, Obi-Wan was feeling calmer, too. The young Padawan didn't know how exactly it worked, but somehow her mind was guiding his, forcing it conform in a manner similar to hers. Calm, controlled and balanced. All that a good Knight's mind should be.

Obi-Wan didn't know whether this was by conscious or unconscious action. Finding out would help him a lot. This way he would at least know whether he should be harbouring ill feelings towards her or not. Should this be a conscious action, Obi-Wan would be more than enraged. After all, what right did she have to patronize him? But he shouldn't jump to conclusions too quickly. Perhaps this was all a great misunderstanding and he was getting the facts wrong.

Sighing, Obi-Wan shook his head and made his way back through the training hall to return to his quarters. He should at least thank her. No matter whether it had been done by conscious or unconscious action, her tight control over her emotions had been beneficial to him. A small 'thank you' would at least be appropriate.

Having made up his mind, Obi-Wan left the training hall and strode towards his quarters. He didn't realize where he was going as his mind was too occupied with coming up with ways to how exactly tell Tah'lara what he had been feeling through the bond. All his trust was on his subconscious, hoping that it would lead him back to his quarters. If he had paid more attention to his surroundings, he would have noticed that he was indeed heading back to his sanctuary, but that there were two Force presences following him.

His hand had just palmed the door open, when a strong hand gripped his shoulder and prevented him from entering.

"Obi-Wan, my dear friend, mind spending some of your precious time with your petty friends?"

A sigh, soon followed by a fond smile were all the reactions Garen invoked in his friend. Turning around to the dark haired teen and Bant, Obi-Wan nodded in greeting and acceptance and invited his friends into his quarters.

Automatically, the trio made their way to the kitchen, with Bant and Garen taking a seat at the table and Obi-Wan rummaging through the shelves and cupboards in search for something eatable and drinkable. For some time, all that could be heard was the blond Padawan's movements, grabbing small boxes and opening them, only to close them and place them back to where they stood before.

Once the sound of water starting to boil filled the otherwise silent room, Obi-Wan took the water heater and prepared some cups of tea. With careful movements he placed the cups in front of his friends, took his own into his hand, blew softly to cool it and finally took a small sip, leaning back farther into his seat and closing his eyes in relaxation.

"Oh, for the love of the Force, Obi-Wan, stop this nonsense and spill it!"

Garen's sharp voice echoed loudly through the room. With a sigh, Obi-Wan opened his eyes and fixed them upon his friend. The dark haired boy was a dear friend of his, but sometimes the blond Padawan was a little exasperated at his friend's behaviour. If there was one thing Garen was completely failing at, then it was patience and the feeling for relaxed atmospheres.

Rolling his eyes a little at his friend's antics, Obi-Wan titled his head to the side and looked at the young man questioningly. "What exactly do you wish me to spill, Garen?"

Next to him, Obi-Wan could hear Bant trying unsuccessfully to restrain a laughter. While Bant was muffling her giggles, Garen was sputtering on the other side of the table, his wide, mockingly angry eyes fixed sternly on Obi-Wan's.

"Well, let's see, what could I mean?", Garen placed his hand under his chin and imitated a perfectly confused and hard thinking frown. "There was this girl, you know, long, blond hair and big blue eyes? She was sitting in your room and you two were having fun. Oh, and let's not forget that you were back at the Temple in the first place and didn't bother to tell us that you had returned from your mission. Yup, that should be all, don't you think, Obi-Wan?"

The young man in question only closed his eyes and took a laboured breath. He should have known that Garen wouldn't let the encounter between Tah'lara and him be. He was Obi-Wan's friend, after all. Of course he would be curious and try to fish for more information. On the other hand, Garen was well known for his protective behaviour towards those he considered dear. To find out that one of his friends had been back at the Temple but hadn't informed him of his return, must have hurt him a lot.

And though Obi-Wan knew that he should explain what had been going on for the last few days and why he hadn't been allowed to leave his quarters, the young man feared that it may only make things worse. Would they understand the mess he was in? Or would they turn their backs on him and leave him be?

There was only one way to find out, Obi-Wan scolded himself for thinking already about possible outcomes. He would have to tell them, then he would know for sure, what his friends would do.

Taking a long breath, Obi-Wan tried to centre himself before he started his tale. Not once did his friends interrupt him, granting him the space and time the young man needed to finish his tale.

To give both Garen and Bant credit, neither of them interrupted Obi-Wan's tale. There were times, when one or both of them would gasp or their eyes would widen in shock or surprise, but other than that, they didn't cause too much distraction. Obi-Wan was thankful for that. He knew he would have been able to finish his story, but with interruptions it would have taken him so much longer and the young man wasn't sure whether he would have been up to this.

When Obi-Wan had told them all that he could, the trio sat in silence in the small kitchen. Bant hadn't been as shocked as Garen was by what her friend had told them, as she knew parts of the story already, so she had been able to pay closer attention to what and how the blond Padawan was offering them as his explanation.

Her silvery eyes were staring blankly at the other side of the room, narrowed a little in deep thought. There was much she wanted to ask, but it wasn't the right time. She would need her friend's sole attention. And though Garen was a good friend of theirs, he would only hinder Bant in her search for answers.

"Wow, a bond mate. You really don't do things by halves, do you?", Garen's voice cut through the uncomfortable silence. His mirthfully twinkling eyes took in the sight of Obi-Wan chuckling softly, while Bant outwardly giggled. It was nice to see both of them acting so carefree. For the last few days he had only seen Bant worried sick for their friend's well-being as neither of them had heard from him in quite a while.

They would have to speak about what had happened during those last few days, but now was not the time for it. Throwing a quick glance at the watch on his com, Garen paled considerably and his eyes widened comically. With a sigh, Garen stood up from his seat and smiled at both of his friends apologetically. Waving at his friends' stunned faces, the dark haired Padawan turned around shortly before he had rushed to the door.

"Well, folks, I really have to leave. I should have met with my Master an hour ago. I have to hurry, otherwise she really will have my head; not that she won't anyway." Smiling shakily at his chuckling friends, Garen waved distractedly at them before turning around and rushing completely out of the quarters, leaving the door to close on its own.

When the door closed with a sharp hiss, Obi-Wan poured Bant another cup of tea and leaned further back into the kitchen chair. The hot porcelain of the cup warmed his fingers pleasantly and allowed his mind to come to ease. Slowly his breathing started to deepen and his gaze sunk until it rested on the cup in his hands, as a content smile graced his lips.

Next to him, Obi-Wan could feel Bant relax, too. The young man could easily feel the waves of contentedness and inner harmony radiating from her. It was something he had always envied the Mon Calamari. Without any problem, Bant was be able to find her inner centre and loose herself into the Force, a feat Obi-Wan had been unable to achieve for several years.

Minutes passed in utter silence, but neither of them felt the need to interrupt the peaceful atmosphere. Neither of them may be speaking, but by no means was the silence uncomfortable or strained. Not for the first and probably not for the last time in his life did Obi-Wan marvel how he didn't need to speak something out loud to make Bant understand how he felt.

It was nice to have someone who understood him, even when he couldn't make sense of his own thoughts.

"You like her?", Bant's caring voice suddenly broke the comfortable silence. When Obi-Wan looked up from his cup of tea, he saw her smiling at him fondly. A small chuckle escaped the young Padawan and with an exasperated shaking of his head, the young man answered the statement.

Bant was the only one he knew who was able to place a question mark at the end of her sentence but still speak in statements rather than in questions.

"Yes, I do. After all, she didn't give me any reason, so far, not to."

The young Mon Calamari hummed in consideration. A small smile was on her lips and her eyes were wide with curiosity, looking intently at him as if she was trying to read his thoughts. The action made Obi-Wan smile in response. If there was one person he could trust to pick up things any other person would miss, then it was Bant.

Bant, who would try everything that was in her might to find out more about Tah'lara, their relationship and ways to help poor, innocent and clumsy Obi-Wan with how to deal with another woman.

He should bless the Force for her existence. He did.

As if reading his thoughts, Bant's smile deepened and the happy twinkle in her eyes intensified. "She looked like a nice, young woman, Obi-Wan."

A soft chuckle echoed through the room, causing Bant to blink in surprise and look at her best friend nearly bewildered. The young man she had thought she knew better than herself, was acting very out of character. Normally, such a teasing, indirect question would have made him stumble over his words in his need and rush to defend himself, while a most beautiful, bright red blush would have adorned his cheeks.

This time, however, none of that happened. Instead of acting like a teenager being caught doing something very naughty, Obi-Wan just sat there, a lost in thought expression gracing his face.

"That is because she is, Bant. She is a very sweet person. As far as I can tell, she is very compassionate and friendly. She never gets angry, never loses her control. It's really amazing.", the young man said, his eyes still dilated from whatever memory was running through his head.

Instead of speaking and voicing her thoughts about the caring and something that could nearly be described as admiration in Obi-Wan's voice, Bant decided to remain silent. Perhaps, she would be able to find out more about her friend's emotional life. Just to make sure that he was really okay, of course.

But instead of spilling his soul to her about his relationship with this blond, young woman, or letting her in no the depth of what was going on in his mind and, more interestingly, his heart, Obi-Wan's content expression suddenly changed and became a rather worried, nearly troubled one.

Sighing deeply, Obi-Wan's gaze fixed itself upon a small, silvery bowl, clinging to it as if gaze was glued to it by gum. "Sometimes, though, I think she is too fragile. The way she acts so shyly, it makes me worry. I have not seen her fight so far until now; I don't even know whether she is able to fight at all. She surely doesn't look like she is able to defend herself."

His voice trailed as Obi-Wan rested his chin on his palm, still gazing rather lost at the colourful fruits. Bant didn't need to be empathic to realize that her friend was worried for the young woman's safety. It amazed her to no ends to see him so worked up because of her supposed lack of self-defence.

But then again, she shouldn't be surprised by this. After all, Obi-Wan was very protective, almost overly protective of those people he cared for. Sometimes it bordered to an obsession, driving Bant up the walls. She knew he meant well, but sometimes it was just too much for her to take. During those times she found herself agreeing with Master Jinn that the young, blond Padawan would be a horrible medic. His need to safe all would be too much, not only for the patients, but especially for him.

The worry itself wasn't what caused Bant to wonder, it was the short amount of time Obi-Wan had needed to develop such feelings of concern and worry for the young woman. She should have expected this, though. The two weren't bonded for nothing, after all.

Though there still was the possibility that there was more to her friend's feelings for Tah'lara than the bond. Perhaps Obi-Wan was developing romantic feelings for his bonded partner, slowly and hesitantly, but feelings nonetheless. It was a thought she would have to keep in mind and something to observe more thoroughly during the next meetings between the two blond Jedi.

Giving her voice an extra portion of innocence, Bant observed Obi-Wan carefully while asking happily. "Why don't you just ask her about it? I mean, she has to be able to defend herself. The Council would never allow her to take a mission if she couldn't, much less make her a Knight. Just ask her, it will help clear things a bit."

The casual way she spoke about asking such a personal question caused Obi-Wan to nearly choke on the tea he had been sipping. Once he had stopped coughing and had regained his composure again, he could see through the now ceasing curtain of tears in his eyes that Bant was smiling innocently at him, a very curious look in her big eyes.

Sighing, the young Padawan thought about the last few days that he had spent with Tah'lara and then shook his head slowly, all but sorrowfully.

"I would, but we haven't talked about anything too personal so far. I once asked her which fighting style she had been taught and well, she became very withdrawn and unapproachable. She immediately changed the topic. Obviously the question was too personal for her liking. So I let her be, I didn't want to pry."

His last sentence hung heavily in the air, causing both Padawan to fall into silence. While both were contemplating their own thoughts, Obi-Wan didn't need to look at Bant's face to know that his little excuse hadn't convinced her at all. She just knew him too well to fall for his fake carefree voice.

And indeed, when the young, blond Padawan tore his gaze away from the small bowl of fruits standing in the middle of the table, he could see how unconvinced Bant truly was. A very prominent frown furrowed her forehead and obviously she was very deep in thought.

As if sensing his gaze on her, Bant blinked slowly and then fixed her silvery eyes onto Obi-Wan's with an inquisitive stare. Moments passed and still neither of them spoke. She must have found what she was looking for, because moments later she sighed heavily and lowered her gaze.

"If you say so, Obi-Wan.", her voice was hesitant, as if she had to force herself to let go of the topic and accept his decision, something she probably had indeed a lot of problems with. "But to be honest, from the way both of you looked and acted, especially her laughter, I would have guessed something very different."

She still wasn't convinced and probably wouldn't be for a long time in the future, her deep frown and prominent scowl just gave her away. But for the time being, she would let Obi-Wan remain in his made up fantasy. There were other things more important at the moment, for example trying to remember how exactly Tah'lara looked like and how those two acted during the short moments they thought themselves to be unobserved.

Too caught up in her memories, Bant nearly missed Obi-Wan speaking, his voice a little lower than usual, giving away how lost in his memories he still was.

"You should be happy to have heard it. Tah'lara doesn't smile that often and laughs even on less occasions. Mostly she is just silently watching, a soft, but controlled look in her eyes." A sigh echoed through the room as Obi-Wan leaned back further into his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. Blue eyes travelled aimlessly over the interior of the kitchen. Through a reflection of light in those blue orbs, Bant thought she saw something more like worry, but as soon as it was there, it was gone again. Shaking his head a little, Obi-Wan sighed again. "I wish she would laugh more often."

This last sentence startled Bant. It sounded more wistful than it should be. Perhaps, Bant mused, she had misjudged the situation a little. Perhaps Obi-Wan was right and things between those two weren't going as smoothly as she had imagined them to be.

Making up her mind, Bant prepared herself for the new task which had just fallen into her lap so unexpectedly. If Obi-Wan and Tah'lara were struggling with themselves and couldn't solve their problems on their own, perhaps some outside help was just what they needed.

"Well, if it's like that, then we just have to make her feel comfortable. We could practice together, cook lunch or dinner together or meet at your quarters to talk about what happened during the last twenty years. There is so much we could do. Oh, we could even have a walk through Coruscant, to show her how people tend to act and dress now."

The young Mon Calamari even managed to give her voice the much needed and appropriate completely overly enthusiastic tone, the one that would manage to shy away her friend's depressing and concerned thoughts, would make him free to think and breathe again. And indeed, as soon as the young, blond Padawan's eyes caught her goofy grin, Obi-Wan's spirit lightened. Unfolding his arms from their crossed position over his chest, Obi-Wan chuckled in mirth and shook his head in exasperation.

"Bant, you are one day going to be the death of me."

And though the thought of spending some time together with Bant, Garen and Tah'lara was a nice and pleasant one, a tendril of uncertainty remained. They shouldn't do this, a soft voice whispered in the back of his mind. It would be too much for Tah'lara. Obi-Wan just knew this. Too many new faces and what little confidence in herself and her abilities she had would fade into nothingness.

And though he knew Bant meant well, the happy twinkle in her eyes and the enthusiastic behaviour were surely giving her away, Obi-Wan would have to try to force her to calm down and take things slow. Otherwise her energy would crush Tah'lara.

Hopefully this was only for the time being.


	10. Chapter 10

**10. Chapter**

Obi-Wan sighed heavily. He had just finished another heavy work-out session with his Master and wanted nothing more than to return to his quarters, take a short shower and sleep wherever he ended up crashing. He was so tired, dead tired that it was a miracle itself that he was even able to walk to his quarters upright.

A light scowl found its way onto Obi-Wan's features. Ever since Tah'lara had returned to the Temple and they had bonded, his Master had increased the pressure and pace in their already very elaborated and advanced training. The young Padawan didn't know why, but he had the sinking feeling it wasn't for him but for the young woman.

The young woman he was bonded to.

A bright blush appeared on his cheeks. The young, beautiful, skilled, friendly Knight who had moved into the quarters right next to them. Ever since she had arrived at the Temple, things had changed. The Council had allowed them special treatment and his friends were curious to find out more about her. But out of all Jedi, there were two who were overly happy to see her. One was Master Tahl.

And the other was his Master.

Obi-Wan couldn't help but grin. His Master was extremely fond of her. She was often invited to have dinner with them, to join them for a training session, to accompany them to the Room of Thousand Fountains, to make it short, to spend her entire day with them. Not that Obi-Wan minded. Tah'lara was fun to be with. It was just he doubted his Master's intention.

With a light grin on his lips, Obi-Wan shook his head good-heartedly and was about to palm the door to his quarters open, when suddenly-

"Obi-Wan!"

The sharp and loud yell caused Obi-Wan to stiffen and turn around slowly. A frown was on his face. He hadn't been able to see the person who had been calling for him, but the voice was strangely familiar. The only thing that was out of place was the coldness and sharpness to it. It only intensified his confusion.

When he had turned around fully, his eyes widened slightly. A young, beautiful woman with short blond hair and blue eyes, clad in the typical Jedi attire, was walking briskly towards him. After the first startle had vanished and he was breathing normally again, a pleasant smile sneaked over his lips.

"Siri! What a nice surprise. It's good to see you."

It really was good to see her. Siri was one of the few people whose presence he truly valued. Aside from Bant, Garen and Reeft she was his only friend. Her fierce loyalty and her strong belief in the Jedi Code had drawn him to her immediately. He enjoyed sparring with her, as she always seemed to be better than him and his ego just normally couldn't take this.

It didn't help at all that Siri was breathtakingly beautiful.

A bristle and a sharp snort was all that answered his enthusiastic greeting.

"Don't give me that shit, Obi-Wan! Who is she?"

Her eyes were glaring daggers at him and had she been able to kill through her gaze, she would have just killed him already. The normally not very emotional, but soft blue eyes seemed hard like steel, her lips were set into a firm line and she was visibly bristling.

Her actions caught Obi-Wan completely off guard. His brows furrowed in thought and obvious confusion, as he tried to think about possibilities what could have set Siri so off. But as much as he was thinking, he couldn't come up with a solution.

"I'm sorry, Siri, but what are you talking about?"

Another sharp snort escaped Siri's lips and with her hands placed at her hips, Siri slowly advanced towards him. She looked like an angry predator, ready to pounce its victim each moment. Suddenly, Obi-Wan had the strong urge to flee.

"Don't act dumber than you are, Obi-Wan. I return from a long, exhausting mission and the first thing I hear when I enter the temple is that you got yourself a pretty, little girlfriend. So who is this… this… _bitch?_"

Obi-Wan immediately stiffened, a worried and slightly angry expression on his face. Siri was a passionate and very strong and independent woman, but for her to curse and swear was very out of character. To do so in the public, in the middle of the hallway leading to the quarters was absolutely unheard of.

As soon as Obi-Wan heard the sharp intake of a breath and saw the small Initiate standing near them, watching the two of them with wide open, shocked eyes, his worry vanished and only a small spark of anger remained. And though it was small, it was enough to make him narrow his eyes.

With a quick movement, Obi-Wan grabbed Siri's arm and pulled her towards his and his Master's quarters, hissing to her through clenched teeth.

"Compose yourself, Siri! You are making a scene and drawing unnecessary attention. If you want to continue this conversation, be quiet and go into my quarters."

Her struggling against his grip ceased. Shortly, she threw a quick gaze over her shoulder, her eyes widening slightly as her gaze fell on the still quivering Initiate. With her jaw clenched firmly, she looked Obi-Wan defiantly into the eyes and followed him grudgingly into his quarters.

As soon as the doors had closed, Obi-Wan walked briskly over to his couch and let himself flop down onto it. He groaned as he felt the joints in his shoulders starting to ache and closed his eyes.

Another sigh escaped his lips and with his eyes still closed, Obi-Wan asked. "What can I do for you, Siri?"

He could hear a low rustle of clothes brushing against legs and other material as Siri slowly walked over to the couch opposite of his and let herself sink down on it stiffly. Several moments passed and nothing happened. The tension started to increase and was all but becoming visible.

Warily, Obi-Wan opened his eyes and watched Siri with caution. Siri was sitting stiffly, her back uncomfortably straight and her shoulders strongly drawn back. It wasn't like Siri to sit so guarded and still. She was normally fairly relaxed, though she never let go too much.

As his gaze wandered to her face, Obi-Wan couldn't help but gulp. Her ever emotionless and cool indifferent face was replaced by an angry mask. Startling fire was burning brightly in her eyes and her lips were drawn into a feral grin.

'_By the Force, this was going to be bad_.'

"You ask me, Obi-Wan? I thought I knew you fairly well. You always told me you didn't like female attention as you didn't feel worthy enough of any woman's time. You have always been uncomfortable and awkward, especially in the presence of beautiful women."

Her tone was casual, but all feigned friendliness couldn't hide her true emotions. The way she listed up his what he was lacking hurt badly. Obi-Wan felt his heart clench painfully as he remembered some of those embarrassing memories. For Siri to talk about them so casually was beyond cruel.

'What have I done to deserve such pain and humiliation?'

Her feral grin increased, as did her anger. With her arms crossed over her chest, Siri leaned back into the couch and stared at Obi-Wan threateningly.

"Only around Bant are you able to act normal. You even have difficulties doing so around me. Now imagine my surprise when I return from a mission and the first thing I hear is that you are bonded to a young woman and she immediately moved into your quarters."

Her tone was snappish. None of her anger had ceased. With a harsh movement, Siri threw a stubborn strand of her hair over her shoulder. And though she looked like the epitome of an angry fury, Obi-Wan detected that something was gravely off. Something in her eyes told him there was more to this than Siri just being upset about not knowing him as well as she had thought she did.

If only he could find out, what it was.

"I have to say, I was immensely surprised, well, more like shocked when I heard this. But imagine my shock when I heard a very interesting gossip."

A low and humourless chuckle echoed through the room, intensifying the already uncomfortable atmosphere to a point where it was barely tolerable. But not only the atmosphere had changed, something in Siri's attitude was different. There was a slight shaking in her voice, a slight twitch of her lips, a small jerk of her hand and a shift in her eyes.

Still, for the life of him, Obi-Wan couldn't figure it out.

Slowly, Siri leaned forward, her eyes never leaving Obi-Wan's. A dry, humourless smile on her lips, she looked unhappily at him.

"They say we share a startling resemblance."

The words were forced out with a bittersweet smile on her lips that couldn't have been more forced if she tried. What she had confessed pained her, pained her more than she would ever be willing to admit.

From all the things Obi-Wan had expected her to say, this had been the last. He couldn't help it. His head snapped upwards frantically and his eyes widened to a nearly inhumanly point. Slowly his mouth opened and shut again, but no sound escaped his lips. He was the very sight of astonishment and shock.

His mind was spinning. Different, unintelligent and mostly not connected with the case thoughts were running wild through his mind. He tried in vain to sort them out, to bring them to any form of order, but he couldn't.

Why was it so important to Siri that Tah'lara really did share some resemblance to her? Well, to be more correct, why was she interested in this girl and the connection they shared, at all?

Six months ago their friendship had taken a rather stony path. During their last mission together, when they had been alone on a cargo-ship and in dear need of help, something had changed between them. At that moment, they both had thought they would die within the next few minutes. Siri, being the always controlled Jedi she was, decided to face her death alone in cargo department and wait for the inevitable to come, her stoic expression never leaving her face.

Obi-Wan, being the still uncontrolled and very spontaneous young man he was, couldn't face this horror alone. In dear need of human contact, Obi-Wan searched for Siri. When he found her, he laid down next to her, not saying or doing anything, just lying there, listening to his heartbeat, feeling the Force swirl around him and hear Siri breath. While he was concentrating on her breathing, something inside of him had shifted.

Slowly he had turned around, his face facing Siri's, their noses nearly touching. For several moments, they did nothing, only stared into the eyes of the other, losing themselves in the seemingly endless orbs of the other. The Force had been twirling around them, connecting, soothing them. A soft smile had tucked Obi-Wan's lips and suddenly he had felt at ease. Carefully he had tucked a strand of Siri's stubborn blond hair behind her ear.

It was then that Obi-Wan had found the courage and strength to tell Siri, what he had been feeling for quite some time. Somehow, Obi-Wan had come to care for the young woman in front of him. And care, though it had been slowly, had turned into fondness and then even something akin to love. He had been shocked at first and the words had stumbled out of his mouth rather unintelligently, but finally he had got them through. He, Obi-Wan, had fallen in love with Siri.

And to his astonishment, she had returned his feelings.

Though Obi-Wan was rather sure, it had been only the emotionally pressure, the knowledge of their soon-to-be, inevitable death looming dangerously over them, that must have brought her to confess this to him. But even though her feelings might not even have been true, Obi-Wan had been happier than he had ever been during his time at the Temple. At least, before his death, he had been in some sort of relationship, however short it may be.

The only problem was that their death never came.

After they had been rescued and reunited with their Masters again, Master Jinn had found out about them. One didn't have to be an expert to do so, though. The tension had been so palpable between them, even a non-Force-sensitive would have been able to figure it out. Ever since they had escaped this blasted ship, Siri had acted uncomfortable and most awkward around him. It only reinforced Obi-Wan's assumption now more like knowledge that she had only confessed those feelings to him in a spur of the moment. It broke his heart to thousands pieces, but finally Obi-Wan came to accept the turn of their relationship.

But even though they never had even entered the state of relationship at all, Master Jinn had told the Council about them. It had caused quite an uproar, forced them to attend a rather embarrassing interview about their love life with the Council members and finally ended in an ultimatum tied with a final decision.

To either continue their relationship and leave the Order or break up and lead the life of a true Jedi.

It had been a difficult decision. Obi-Wan remembered quite well how they had sat alone in one of the unused meeting rooms of the Temple. For several moments, neither of them had spoken. They had been sitting there in the most uncomfortable and strained silence possible, their eyes never meeting the other's, their hands firmly folded in their laps, their lips and eyes twitching.

It was then that Obi-Wan had made up his mind. With a tremble in his voice which he couldn't suppress completely, Obi-Wan had told her how much he loved her. He had seen her stiffening opposite to him and immediately he had sped up his speech. He hadn't wanted her to interrupt him, too difficult had this been for him. Had he been interrupted then, he would have never been able to say what he had wanted to.

So with a trembling voice and his eyes casted firmly onto the table standing between them, Obi-Wan had told Siri how much he had loved her and that, because of this love he harboured for her, he wanted them to break up. He had known it hadn't made much sense, but he had known that there had been nothing more important for Siri than being a Jedi and the Order. That was why he had wanted her to stay. He had loved her too much to see her give up her biggest dream because of him.

He remembered how she had blinked in surprise. Then, with lightly trembling lips, she had raised her eyes and looked at him directly. A soft, though a little forced smile played over her lips, sadly never reaching her eyes. Slowly she had nodded her consent.

Everything had been agreed on.

After they had proclaimed their decision to the Council, their relationship had been a little strained. But with the weeks passing by, things started to turn out fine. Siri was opening up to him again and Obi-Wan finally managed, with the help of Bant, to overcome his feelings for Siri. Soon they acted like nothing had happened. Still loyal to the heart and always there to help the other.

As if they were still friends.

So, why, even after they had agreed on this and had come to an understanding, was Siri now demanding information about Tah'lara? It wasn't like she ca… no… this couldn't be… _no!_

'Oh, damn.'

When he looked up into Siri's eyes, in vain hoping that what he was thinking was just a cruel joke of his overactive fantasy, his hope was immediately crushed. With a sinking feeling in his stomach and his heart clenching painfully, Obi-Wan could only watch in horror as Siri's lips started to tremble and her eyes moistened.

"She has the same light blond hair as Siri. No, wait, hers is a lot softer and silkier and brighter than Siri's. Not to forget it reaches to her hips."

A dry, humourless laughter echoed through the room, being reflected and distorted by the large, plain walls beyond repair. The first tear started to slowly run down her cheek, causing Obi-Wan's heart to flutter painfully.

"She has the same light blue eyes as Siri. But stop, wait, her eyes are brighter and of a unique, metallic blue. They hold a captivating intensity never seen before. Siri's are dull and average compared with them."

With a broken sniff, Siri brought her hand to her eyes and wiped away the tear drops with an angry motion. Her hands started to tremble and her lips still shook as she was fighting to control her emotions.

"She is just as sweet as Siri. No, stop, Siri isn't sweet. But this girl is. The way she smiles shyly, blushes lightly when the attention focuses on her, the way her eyes lit up with happiness when she talks, it's just too sweet. She is always polite and compassionate. Not as emotionless and uncaring as Siri always is."

Obi-Wan sat there and didn't know what to do. Never in his life would he have imagined Siri to be self-conscious about her appearance and what others might say about her character. She had always stood above such things and had plainly told anyone who dared to say something different that she couldn't care less what other thought about her.

But now she was sitting here, crying and stumbling over her words. Her discomfort was plainly visible, but what was even more astonishingly was the hurt and the pain those words had caused her. The way their year mates and comrades had so shamelessly compared her to Tah'lara and brought up each and every 'fault' they could find, it really must have been too much for her.

He could remember that Siri was always the one who all the males wanted to go out with. Her blond hair, her blue eyes and her beautiful features, it was enough to attract a lot of unwanted attention. But the more she tried to shy them away with her cool and uncaring attitude, the more people seemed to get interested in her. She was the Ice Princess, the one everyone wished to finally break the spell and warm her heart.

She had been most unhappy with how things had to be. But when the advances of her male year mates merely increased and things started to get out of hand, pretending to be emotionless and uncaring was the best she could do. Still, people would lust after her, but at least they now had the mind to do so in private and leave her alone.

With time passing by, Siri had perfected her act and started to grow into it. After some years, nobody could remember the once carefree and happy young girl Siri had once been. Worst of all, Obi-Wan assumed, Siri didn't even remember it herself. She had grown into her act too much.

To hear now that people fancied what she had had to give up for them, it must have pushed her over the edge.

Obi-Wan gulped and was about to open his mouth, but Siri beat him to it. With another miserable sniff and another trembling wipe of her hand over her tear streaked cheeks, her gaze searched Obi-Wan's, holding him captive.

"I would have done everything for you, Obi-Wan."

The way her gaze bored itself deeply into his soul, made it clear to anyone that she was deadly serious. Her lips trembled lightly as a very forced and painful smile found its way to her lips. She looked so sad and disbelieving, as if her worst fears had come true.

"Anytime, I would do everything for you. When the Council had forced us to decide what we would want to do with our future, I was ready to take matters into my own hands."

Her voice dropped to a broken whisper. With slow, heavy blinks her eyes were travelling through Obi-Wan's living room, resting here and there, before they finally fixed on Obi-Wan. When their eyes connected, Obi-Wan couldn't help but involuntarily gulp. There was so much emotion in them, so much pain and devastation.

"I would have left the Order for you. I was ready and prepared to do so. But then you, you decided to step in before I could even tell you this. You decided to play the sacrificing hero and gave up our love and our future to ensure my happiness here. It was so sappy and heart-warming, I would have never allowed it. But you were dead set on making me happy, even if it destroyed us."

Obi-Wan's heart contracted painfully, as Siri's woeful, harsh laughter left her lips. She looked so upset, with her eyes moistened, her lips trembling and her cheeks so pale they looked like chalk.

"I love you. I would give up everything for you. But you, you destroyed it before we had any chance at all."

With this the dam broke loose and sobs, followed loosely by tears, wrecked her body. Obi-Wan could do nothing but sit there and stare at her with wide open, shocked eyes and his mouth hanging open uncomprehendingly. He had expected everything, but not this.

Yes, he had known that Siri might at some point have harboured some feelings for him. But he had always thought them to be nothing more than a crush, something fleeting, something diminutive, something that would disappear soon in the future and never last those years.

That was why he had decided to break up and stay here at the Temple. He didn't want to force her to leave the Order and then, as soon as her crush had subsided, be most unhappy about her loss. That was, should he have been able to bring her to leave the Temple at all. From what he had expected, he had never thought Siri would have even agreed to it.

Force, how wrong had he been. Unknowingly he had forced his decision upon her, left her no chance to tell him what she was thinking about this matter. He couldn't have been more tactless and ruthless if he had wanted to be. It broke his heart to know that she had been left to pay, to act as if everything was fine, while on the inside she was suffering just as much as he had been.

No, he reasoned, she had suffered even more. While he had been able to overcome his feelings for her, Siri still loved him with her whole heart.

'_Oh, Force_.'

"Siri… I didn't know… What… What can I-?"

His stuttering broke the spell. Immediately her sobs stopped. With unimaginable force and power Siri snapped her head up, her body stiffened and her eyes fixed themselves on his. Something must have snapped in her. Where moments ago had been pain and devastation, now there were fierce determination and strength.

Her emotionless mask was switched back on immediately, only disrupted a little by her still tear-streaked cheeks. Coldness and determination radiated from her in strong waves, trying to manipulate him into doing her bidding.

"Break up with her. Leave this bitch and show me that what you proclaimed what you felt for me was real."

For several moments, nothing happened. While Siri was still staring at Obi-Wan with an unwavering gaze, as if she was trying to urge him to say what she wanted to hear, Obi-Wan just sat there, deeply troubled. And while no single emotion was visible on his face, his mind was torn.

He had loved Siri, had loved her with all his heart. Had she told him this after the Council had forced them to make this fatal decision, Obi-Wan would have jumped at the chance to leave the Temple with her and start a new life together. But he had denied himself and them this chance and now it was too late. Thanks to Bant's wonderful help, he had been able to overcome and finally bury all kind of romantic feelings he had once harboured for Siri.

And then there was Tah'lara. She was so similar to Siri and yet so different. It had been so easy to get to know her better. His easy-going attitude and her open-mindedness had worked out quite well. And the bond they shared did the rest. It was too early to say now, but Obi-Wan had the feeling that he was slowly but surely falling for this mysterious young woman.

Falling hard for her.

A sad smile found its way to his lips. With moistened eyes and a voice loaded with so much emotion it made him feel chocked, Obi-Wan all but whispered.

"I-I can't, Siri… I'm sorry…"

And he really couldn't. His heart would kill him.

Without another word, Siri jumped up from her seat and rushed to the door. Hadn't the door been electrical, she surely would have thrown it shut noisily. This way, all that Siri could d, was to glare at him with cold, emotionless eyes.

After she left so abruptly, Obi-Wan was remained sitting in the silence and loneliness of his quarters, Obi-Wan couldn't help but sigh as he pondered the mess that lay ahead of him. Siri was heartbroken and very angry with him at the moment. Not to forget that she was obviously envious of Tah'lara. The way things were, Obi-Wan could be happy should she decide not to declare open war to him.

Then, there was the mess with Tah'lara. He liked her already and they only knew each other for some weeks. Their friendship was a strong one and was becoming deeper with each passing day. Talking and laughing with Tah'lara was so easy and yet it gave him so much. A small smile from her and even the dullest day became bright.

'Was he falling in love with her?'

As the thought passed his mind, Obi-Wan immediately wished his Master was there to help him. Qui-Gon always knew what to do and even if he didn't, alone by listening he would help Obi-Wan sort out a lot of this. But sadly his Master wasn't here and so Obi-Wan was left alone with this mess.

With a groan escaping his lips, Obi-Wan banged his head against the table.

'Oh… damn!'


	11. Chapter 11

**11. Chapter**

Bright blue eyes scanned the dull landscape through thick perfectly clean window glass.

High, grey buildings covered the probably once beautiful, green and prospering area. Nobody knew why, but years ago the governing party of the habitants had decided to take the way to industry and high-tech instead of cultivating the agricultural sector. It wasn't the most logical and understandable decision, but now that it was made, there was no way to reverse it.

The green hills, covered with all sorts of trees and flowers were replaced by huge industrial factoring buildings, storage buildings and parking areas. The beauty of the area, of the whole planet had been destroyed, only to make place for the human living there, to help them satisfy their needs.

Far away at the horizon the dull grey faded, soft green and spots of deep blue mixing with the fade grey. This area, so very far away from the industrial areas, was secluded. Small, pretty houses, some as huge as mansions, surrounded by neatly kept gardens, with colourful flowers and exotic plants. Artificial lakes and ponds, with small fishes swimming around lazily, perfecting the wonderful sight.

It was a breathtakingly beautiful view, but still it caused her a feeling as if a cold hand clenched around her heart and lungs, making it difficult to breath. Far away, a huge, stone wall separated the lovely green areas from the dull grey industrial parts in front of her. A big lump formed in the young woman's throat, making it difficult to swallow. Not only industrial factoring areas were situated around the huge room she stood in. No, between all the storage and factoring buildings, small, simple huts or houses were standing, overshadowed by gigantic grey walls.

In front of her was the living area of the lower class of New Apsolon, commonly known as the Workers. Though they made up most of the population, they earned near to no money at all to survive. And though their number was by far the greatest, they still lived in small huts, penned up in much too small space for their living.

Behind the wall, however, where there was space, wealth and comfort, there were living the Civilized. What they lacked in numbers, they made up in comfort and wealth. They called themselves the upper-class, the better ones. Whatever profit they Workers made, most of it went directly into their pockets.

The difference between the two groups was immense and would probably never be completely conquered. And still seeing all those Workers down the streets caused her mixed feelings. On the one hand they were still a sorry sight and made her heart ache in compassion and sorrow for their situation. But on the other hand her heart was filling with joy and happiness. It was strange to say and not many would believe nor understand it, but the Workers' situation had improved a lot.

Not many could tell, because they didn't know how things had been several years ago. Not many knew, but she did. She knew so well what life for a Worker had been on New Apsolon many years ago.

After all, she had been there while the first dramatic changes had been made.

The young woman sighed and rubbed her eyes with her hands tiredly. It wasn't physical but emotional tiredness. It had felt so great to return to New Apsolon. So many amazing and life-changing things had happened there. Her bond to her Master had deepened dramatically, her Master's relationship to her long-time friend had been taken a step further and so many friendships been formed. It felt so good to be here and still something bothered her greatly.

"Knight Tah'lara, our transport to New Apsolon governmental building just arrived. If you feel ready, we can leave now.", an unnerved, female's voice rang through the otherwise silent room and disrupted the blue eyed woman's train of thought.

Tah'lara was only barely able to swallow the sigh that wanted to leave her lips and to refrain herself from rolling with her metallic blue eyes.

Schooling her face into the expressionless face that was required of Knight, Tah'lara turned around. A pair of cold, blue eyes stared at her in cold disdain, while the lips were set in a firm line. Short, blond hair fell down to her shoulders, giving the young woman a rather boyish look. And though she had a really nice face, her expression was far from it.

"Thank you, Padawan Tachi. I will be done in just a moment. You may go already.", Tah'lara said softly.

The young Padawan nodded stiffly and turned around, causing the equally young Knight to sigh in exasperation. If she at least knew why Padawan Siri Tachi was giving her the cold shoulder. It wasn't like the Knight could have done something to attract the Padawan's wrath. They hadn't even met before! And still her gaze was ice-cold when they met for the first time.

With another sigh, Tah'lara grabbed her things, looked around the waiting room for the last time and then exited the room.

No need to increase Tachi's wrath by letting her wait longer than necessary.

* * *

><p><em>She stood in the huge meeting room of the Council. Through the enormous windows one could easily see the traffic speed by. Outside the sky was of a bluish colour, the sun only a faint shimmer through the small, white clouds. And though the sun was shining, everything on the other side of the window glass seemed to be covered by a thick sheet of dull, feculent grey.<em>

'_Dirty.', her mind suddenly told her. 'Everything out there was… dirty… shabby.'_

_Metallic blue eyes observed the colourful speeders outside, the way they seemed to pass each other mindlessly, in no apparent order, only barely escaping a crash several times. The way the transports circled around each other, it looked as if they were dancing, a strange, foreign dance._

_And still, the dull greyish layer covering the skyscrapers and the thick clouds hiding the sun managed to make her feel gloomy. _

'_Hadn't the sky been bluer back then? Hadn't the sun been brighter? Why did everything suddenly look so run-down?', her mind whispered to her dejectedly._

_It was heart-breaking to see the planet that once had been so prospering and beautiful, now be so rundown and dirty. Though she shouldn't have been surprised in the least._

_The normal course of time. Such things happened._

_With force she managed to suppress the sigh that wanted to leave her throat. She was currently standing in the Council's meeting room, the twelve Masters of the Council sitting in front her. It wouldn't do for her to sigh outwardly. It would inappropriate, out of place and most importantly extremely embarrassing._

_Not to forget that it would be downright impolite to sigh while Stass Allie was talking, interrupting her speech in the process._

"_This is why I finally came to the conclusion that the bond between Knight Tah'lara and Padawan Kenobi is neither affecting their perception nor their interactions. It has grown strong enough to allow both of them to be apart a great distance, without causing severe after-effects. Not to forget that Knight Tah'lara's mind has accepted the situation very well."_

_No single time was Stass' voice wavering as she stood in front of the Council members, their stern and inquisitive gazes fixed upon her, their thoughts solely concentrated on her speech. The Stass Tah'lara had known would have stumbled over her words, stammering and stuttering, the faintest of a red blush on her cheeks._

_But time had changed and so had Stass._

_With awe the blond Knight watched how her fellow Knight straightened her shoulders, raised her chin and gave herself an assured and confident posture, without appearing full of herself. It amazed the younger woman to no end how Stass' indigo eyes swept over each member, taking in every single aspect, without appearing nervous or unfocused._

"_Therefore I deem her fit enough to return to active duty."_

_Had Tah'lara still been a Padawan, she would have just looked up startled to her Master's face, her indecision and surprise bright visible on her face. But she hadn't been made a Knight for nothing. Her face schooled into the perfect mask of indifference, the only give away for her surprise was the slight hitch of her breath, which thankfully went unnoticed by her fellow Jedi._

_Stass conclusion seemed to be what the Council members wanted to hear. With a polite smile and a "Thank you, you helped us a lot, Knight Allie.", Depa Billaba nodded in agreement and then, with a slight movement of her hand, dismissed the older Knight. _

_After Stass left, a strained silence ensued. Tah'lara was still reeling from what she just found out. Her raging heartbeat was drumming painfully in her ears, a sudden pressure made it difficult to breath and cold sweat started to appear in a fine sheet on her skin. She was panicking, she realized. Suffering from a real panic attack._

_With forced, calm breaths Tah'lara tried to regain her control over her body. She couldn't let go of her control so easily. Not only would it be unbecoming and embarrassing, in the wrong situation it could very well be deadly. Thankfully the Councillors were too caught up in discussing some matter between them to have noticed her slip. They wouldn't understand it._

'_No, they indeed wouldn't. And why should they?', Tah'lara thought with sarcasm lacing her inner voice. 'What was there to panic about when even live inside the safe and secure halls of the Temple was currently too much for her? When every single change made her heart bleed and her mind weep. How was she to leave the Temple and fulfil her tasks? Couldn't they understand that a little over three ten-days wasn't enough to get used to having missed twenty years of history?'_

_She knew Stass meant only well and wanted nothing more than allow Tah'lara to return to her normal life, but right now, everything the blond haired Knight wanted right now was to return to her quarters and meditate._

_The soft noises of robes shuffling, the muffled whisper of the Councillors discussing one matter or another and finally fingers tipping against datapads ceased. Tah'lara, a little bit startled by the sudden silence around her, focused her attention on the Masters sitting in front of her._

_Master Windu, his datapad laying on his armrest, his hands folded neatly in his lap. Dark eyes looked at her inquisitive, as if they wanted to read her soul._

_Probably they did._

"_Knight Allie's evaluation works well ftp us. The Council decided, you should be send on a mission as soon as possible, to help find your path again in this world and time."_

_A look of concern and worry suddenly appeared in Master Windu's eyes, only to disappear as soon as it had appeared there. It touched her heart to know that he wasn't as emotionless and uncaring as he wanted others to see him, that something of the young Knight who had visited her Master's best friend often and had spent so much time with them was still there._

_At least this hadn't changed._

"_We need someone to visit New Apsolon and to make sure that everything is right. For the last few ten-days, the Council received several disturbing messages. Rumours of possible coups are spreading through the population."_

_Dark skinned fingers grabbed the datapad carefully, softly touching the screen and scrolling until they finally found what they had been searching for. Mace Windu's eyes scanned the content briefly, a deep, almost concerned frown appearing on the man's forehead. _

"_The Council wants you to meet with the planet's representatives. You're function is only of a diplomatic matter. We feel you are up this mission, however, we won't send you alone. A Master-Padawan combat-team will accompany you, to ensure your safety."_

_Dark brown eyes stared at metallic blue ones intently, capturing them and not letting them go. The intensity caused Tah'lara to grow stiff and to hold her breath in anticipation._

"_You have been there before, Knight Tah'lara. Many things have changed since then. It will be beneficial for you to be there."_

_The words ended with a stern note, allowing no room for further arguments or negotiations. Tah'lara could only nod her head and accept this task._

_New Apsolon. Of all planets of the universe the Councillors had to send her to New Apsolon. This fateful planet, hoisting so many treasured, important and yet painful memories. Everything would have been better than going there._

_The sound of wood scratching against stone suddenly filled the air and caused the young Knight to focus her attention on the here and now. Master Yoda, his long, green fingers firmly wrapped around his cane, looked at her with big, eerie eyes._

"_Ready you are. Know this the Councillors and I do. Help you it will. Believe in you we do."_

_The softly and fondly spoken words chocked her throat. Silently, her eyes wide from the sudden pressure those innocently uttered words had inflicted upon her, Tah'lara again nodded her consent and, almost as if fleeing, left the room._

_Inside the elevator Tah'lara desperately tried to get the trembling of her hands under control. She shouldn't act like this, a single mission, not even a solo mission should leave her in such distress. She was a Knight, she had proven herself worthy to work alone and independently. A simple information gathering mission was something she should handle easily. _

_And yet she felt the beginning of panic shadowing her mind. She would have to leave the Temple. Not only that but she would have to visit a planet and talk to people she knew very well. How was she to do this? The slight changes inside the Temple had already proven too much for her fragile mind. How was she to cope with a whole planet and its changes?_

_And there would be changes. The planet was well known for that._

_The last time she had been there, the population had been in an uproar. The common people, called the Workers had decided that they had enough of being ruled by a minority, which didn't do anything for them. Lead by her Master and Master Jinn, the Workers had organised a revolution, the bloodless revolution how it would later be called and had succeeded in overthrowing the ruling minority, the Absolutes._

_After this, for the first time in New Apsolon's history, free elections had been hold and Worker Ewane, who had helped with all his might to cause this change became the first freely elected leader._

_The thought of Ewane, the then young man with the spiky dark hair and the soft brown eyes caused Tah'lara to smile despite her worries. Ewane had been fun to be with, a very down to earth, helpful, responsible, yet playful young Worker, who had devoted his life to make sure his twin daughters would lead a better life. _

_Ewane had been their first leader twenty years ago. And still there was a great possibility that he still was fulfilling this task. After all, with such great devotion for his race and planet, it was very probably that the majority of the Workers had elected him again._

_With a sudden high spirit, Tah'lara made her way to her quarters to pack her things_

_Yes, perhaps not everything had changed. Perhaps Ewane would be there to greet her._

* * *

><p>Feeling the signatures of her fellow Jedi helped her. Often would she sit in her room, delving deeper into the Force and just feeling them. They helped her to stay grounded and focused. Thanks to them, she didn't feel so alone.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Of course, things never went the way Tah'lara wanted them to.<em>

_After the Council meeting Tah'lara made her way to her quarter to pack all the things she might need for a several days trip. Her departure would be soon, just after she had all of her things and her companions were ready, too. _

_So as soon as some robes to change and the datapad containing all of the information she might need were stuffed into a large bag, Tah'lara made her way to her former Master's quarters. Finding Qui-Gon next to Tahl, Tah'lara briefed them about her mission and the bid them farewell. And though she could see in their eyes the worry for the well-being, the badly disguised wish to ask her if everything was all right, both Masters just smiled at her and nodded their goodbyes. _

_For a few moments she pondered leaving right away and letting Master Jinn tell his Padawan of her departure. However as soon as this thought had crossed her mind, Tah'lara shook her head to brush it aside. She couldn't do this. Obi-Wan and she may not know each other for a long time, but still they were bonded. He deserved to know she would leave the Temple for some time. After all, who knew what might happen this time when spending time and space apart._

_When she palmed the door to Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's quarters open, laughter and giggles greeted her. Obi-Wan, together with his friends Bant and Garen was sitting in the living room, cups of tea and plates with sweets covering the small couch table, the young men's heads thrown back in laughter, while Bant was hiding her giggles behind her hands._

_The sight was endearing. During the last one and a half month she had barely ever seen the Padawan this happy and carefree. Mostly he was very serious and contemplative, as if he feared she might break every moment. It was nice and very heart-warming to see him so concerned for her well-being, but, Force, she was a Knight, she could take care of herself very well._

_But that wasn't all. She had the sinking feeling that wouldn't it be for her, Obi-Wan might still be as carefree and happy as he now only was in the presence of his friends. With her present, he suddenly aged and matured so much. As if a heavy burden was suddenly heaved upon his shoulders, too much for him to carry. _

_Was this again her doing? She could see him try so much to make her feel welcomed and at home, to be there for her when she needed him. Normally it would have caused her heart to fill with joy and her mind to go numb with happiness to have a young, handsome man care so much for her, but not this time. Obi-Wan didn't look comfortable while doing this, as if he was obliged._

_If there was someone caring for her then he or she should do this out of his or her free will! She didn't want anyone to feel forced to worry about her. Obi-Wan's worry was sweet, but it didn't belong to her, it belonged to his function._

_The thought made her heart bleed and her soul ache. An evil voice was whispering to her, telling her that the young Padawan only cared for her, because Fate or Force had been cruel enough to spontaneously bond them. How else could he fear for her well-being? He didn't knew her after all. _

_No, Obi-Wan worried about her, because this was what was expected of a bonded partner._

_But Tah'lara didn't like this. She wanted someone to worry for her person, not just because through some sick joke of the universe they suddenly shared mind, thoughts and feelings._

_So when she told the three Padawans that she was going on a mission, instead of feeling honoured at Obi-Wan's predicted sorrowful gaze, Tah'lara just brushed the image aside and steeled her shields, so no one could feel her dejection. She didn't want to see him look at her as if she was about to break, didn't want to hear him tell her to take care. _

_With a last weak smile back at Garen's enthusiastic war-cry, the young man's fist high in the air and his shouting to show them ringing in her ears Tah'lara bid them farewell and made her way to the ship._

* * *

><p>Gazing out of her window, the bright spots of the numerous stars grazing the sky, Tah'lara idly wondered where her place in the universe was.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Things just couldn't go the way she wanted to it seemed. <em>

_When she reached the ship, Tah'lara quickly deposited her few things in her room only to then sit down in the ship's sitting room to find out more about New Apsolon. She may have been there before, but seeing as more than twenty-five years had passed since her last stay on the industrial planet, a lot of changes might have happened. At least the Council had provided her with all the information she might need. _

_Frowning, Tah'lara looked at the news displaying on the small screen. The news were surprised her. For the first few years after Ewane's election of their planet's leader, things had gone pretty well. A lot better than anybody would have admit to have suspected. _

_But at some point something must have gone wrong. After ten years of successfully leading the planet, Ewane had been re-elected. Things obviously went pretty good for another seven years, but then it happened. During a meeting with representatives from other planets about possible fusioned economy politics Ewane was cowardly shot right in the heart. Security and law enforcement groups searched immediately for the culprit, but none of them came up with any possible leads and as such the search was called off._

_After some intense and chaotic weeks, Ewane's friend Roan was elected new leader of the planet. That itself wasn't very surprising. After all, the two had been close friends, one supporting the other in what he was doing. What was however very surprising was that the New Apsolon population had elected him without Ewane helping him with his election campaign. _

_Roan was a Civilized, one of the few wealthy people. He was elite. He could easily abuse this power and bring back the old and traditional immense influence of the Civilized. And still the majority of the population, the Workers, voted for him._

_What an amazing show of trust._

_It seemed that even after Ewane's mysterious death Roan had demonstrated that he was and always would be a great friend for his deceased comrade. In another demonstration of trust and perhaps something like duty, Roan had adopted Ewane's orphaned twin-daughters. It wasn't necessary, the girls were twenty-two years old and nearly of age, and still Roan adopted them._

_He did what a good friend would have done._

_From there on things went pretty well. Roan was well liked through the entire population, his politics found general agreement and the situation stabilized again. For the next month there weren't any negative nor peculiar reports. The Jedi withdrew again, only keeping their observing position. After all, it didn't look as if they were needed in the near future too soon._

_Now however, three years after Roan's election, things seemed to change. _

_The sharp noise of the ship's door opening with a hiss suddenly interrupted Tha'lara's thoughts, nearly causing her to drop her datapad in surprise. 'Her escorts.', flashed through her mind. She wasn't allowed to fly alone. A Master-Padawan-team was accompany her and keep her safe. 'How could she have forgotten?'_

_A soft breeze carried two female voices through the ship, one of a soft, melodic and patient tone, the other sounding younger, of sharper and more aggressive tone, very impatient. Obviously Master and Padawan. _

_The later voice caused Tah'lara to smile lightly. At least she could be sure that she would be safe. The aggressive nature of the second one, most probable the Padawan, would make sure of it._

_Standing up from her seat on the couch, Tah'lara put the data pad away and straightened her robes. She was curious; after she had woken up she hadn't been in contact with too many other Jedi. Talking to someone probably her age and another female Master might proof beneficial. Slowing her steps so it wouldn't look as if she planned on crossing their paths, Tah'lara palmed the door open and stepped through it. _

_Immediately the chatter stopped. Two pairs of blue eyes, one warm caring and of a bright indigo, one ice cold and of a dull blue met her gaze. Blond eyebrows furrowed as cold blue eyes narrowed. Tah'lara shifted uncomfortably, the hateful gaze getting under her skin. Forcing a smile, Tah'lara opened her mouth and was about to greet her fellow Jedi, when the Padawan sniffed derogatively, suddenly turning around sharply and striding to her room._

_Tah'lara was left to stare at her, her eyes wide with incredulity._

_Out of the corner of her eyes she could see Master Adi Gallia shake her head, incomprehension and worry clouding her Force signature. "I'm sorry, Knight Tah'lara. Padawan Tachi was acting out of order. I have to apologize on her behalf." With a little smile Adi inclined her head in greeting and turned around to follow her misbehaving Padawan. "It's good to see you."_

_With that she stepped into the rooms she would share with her Padawan, the door closing with a hiss. Suddenly the ship was eerie silent again, the bright light only stressing how lonely it was._

_Still dazed, Tah'lara turned around and entered the control room. Without thinking, Tah'lara sat down on the pilot seat, prepared herself and the ship for the flight and then let the ship take off. She didn't realize the rumbling nor the soft shaking around her. Once the ship was safe out of Coruscant's orbit, Tah'lara activated the autopilot._

_Laying down on her bed she tried to get comfortable. But no matter how hard she tried, neither calmness nor sleep would claim. The latest interaction with the two Jedi assigned to keep herself too fresh on her mind. _

_Groaning, she closed her eyes and brought her arm over them._

'_This mission is going to be hell.'_

* * *

><p>The soundproof, metallic doors hissed open, allowing the people to finally leave.<p>

Leader Roan had just called the meeting to an end.

For the last few days, Tah'lara had acted like a constant shadow. Wherever Roan was, Tah'lara was there too. Shadowing the leader had been informative. She could now say with absolute conviction that everything was fine, more than fine.

And at the same time it wasn't.

She knew it sounded crazy, but she just couldn't explain it. While outwardly everything was fine, something was still missing. However, she didn't knew what was amiss. The ministers and the governmental staff were doing their jobs with utmost precision and devotion. Their reports were clear and short, their suggestions concerning possible improvements were well thought-through and innovative and finally the atmosphere was friendly.

Her metallic blue eyes had scanned the surroundings, observing facial expressions and movements, shifts in the Force and aura, looking for dark thoughts and intentions. It was difficult as Roan was well-liked by most people, but still disliked by enough people to create a mixture of good and bad intentions which told Tah'lara nothing.

When she hadn't been able to find out more after five days of constant observations, Tah'lara finally had enough and resigned. She couldn't detect more than the average dislike and resentment between hordes of politicians rivalling against each other. The atmosphere buzzing with energy, something would happen. She just didn't know what.

However, her conclusions wouldn't allow her to remain on the planet. There was no imminent danger. The possibility that nothing would happen at all was quite high. Therefore it was no wonder the Councillors had ordered her to return. There was no need to waste any more time than absolutely necessary.

Tomorrow midday, they would return home.

Feeling a flicker of joy at the thought, Tah'lara let a smile play around her lips. It was a rare sight for her to lose her control so freely in public. However her companion remained obvious to her shortly being absent minded. Not once did he stop his amiable lecture about the advantages of creating new homes for several families, which would share kitchen and bathroom. Very easy way to save group and space.

With a smile that came out a little strained, Tah'lara softly but determinedly interrupted the motivated young man and with a last promise to rethink his suggestion, made her way to where Adi Gallia and Siri Tachi were waiting for her.

"How did your meetings go, Knight Tah'lara?", the melodious voice of Adi carried through the room.

Stopping opposite of where Adi and Tachi were standing, Tah'lara smiled politely back at her. Absentmindedly she placed her hands into the wide sleeves of her light brown robes. Her joints cracked a little and her stiff muscles screamed at her to finally retreat to her quarters and spend some much needed time in the 'fresher.

Sadly a hot shower would have to wait some more. She wasn't yet done for the day.

Carefully drawing her shoulders back so her muscles could relax a little, Tah'lara titled her head a little to the side, her eyes never leaving Adi's indigo ones.

"The meeting went very well, Master Gallia. We should be able to return to the Temple in no time. One day should be enough for me to solve all things needed."

Those news seemed to please the young Master a lot, as a content smile appeared on her face and her aura shifted to a more calm and relaxed. Tah'lara could very well understand this. To spend all the time waiting in front of a meeting room, only sometimes accompanying her to lunch and dinner wasn't the most exciting nor satisfying job.

While Adi took this uncomfortable assignment with the stoical calmness of a Master, it was painfully visible to anyone who cared to look how the boredom and the constant idleness were eating the young Padawan away. Her mood shifted from tense to bad to worse with each day that passed.

Tachi was huffing exasperatedly, her arms crossed firmly over her shoulder. With each step that Tah'lara came closer, Tachi grew tenser. The tension between them hadn't changed from their first meeting on the ship, especially when Tachi had found out that it would be Tah'lara who was going to do most of the job.

She had been angry and about to lose her control for the last days. Blazing eyes looked at the young knight, fixing upon her face as she spoke with the Master. Ever since the young Knight had appeared, she had been unable to think about anything else.

What had this woman that she hadn't it? No matter how much she was pondering, she could for the life of her not find out what it made her so special.

And now she was the one who would be solely responsible for the success of this mission. It wasn't fair. Who did this woman think she was? This smile, this self-assured and arrogant smile, she hated it. Hated it with her life. She couldn't take it anymore; it had to leave.

Suddenly she lost it.

"What's wrong with you? You appear out of nowhere and suddenly everything has to be about you? Well, get real, it won't be!", Tachi snarled at her, her blue eyes narrowed and her face mask of barely contained fury.

For the first few moments, Tah'lara didn't know what to do. The scene she had just witnessed was too bizarre to be real. No, it was too bizarre, it better shouldn't be real. But judging by Adi's sharp intake of breath and the short wave of incredulity evading from her, it was safe to assume that she hadn't been hallucinating.

Counting in her head to ten, Tah'lara centred herself in the Force. With her thoughts hidden behind a thick mask of emotionless and stern appearance, Tah'lara fixed her eyes on the young Padawan.

The young woman was shaking with barely contained anger, her blue eyes blazing with irritation and her fingers drawn into two firm fists. The hand closer to her light sabre was twitching badly, causing Tah'lara's eyes to widen for a moment only to narrow dangerously, too.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Tah'lara realized that Tachi's outburst hadn't gone as unnoticed as she had wished it to be. A crowd of people was starting to gather in the furthest corner, heads drawn together and whispering furiously behind their hands. Gossipers, she realized, gossipers on their prey for something worth sharing with the whole planet.

Tachi causing a scene was the last thing she needed. Though the meetings had gone quite well with the New Apsolonians, it was always dangerous to weakness in front of a foreign government, on a foreign planet. And Tachi screeching at her and misbehaving was just that, a weakness.

Taking a deep breath, Tah'lara made a step towards the young Padawan and looked her right into the eyes.

"Padawan Tachi, I seriously advice you to keep control over your emotions and to not let your personal matters get the better of you.", the slowly but clearly spoken words left her mouth barely above a hiss. And though she had spoken quite lowly, the soft Force suggestion to better be silent and listen to her was none the less blatant.

However, it didn't seem to be enough for the angry Padawan. Tachi's eyes widened comically only to be narrowed to slits as she stepped forward, her hands pressed into her sides. The Force was starting to swirl powerfully around her. With an angry movement, Tachi swished a strand of stubborn strand of hair to her back and glared at Tah'lara openly.

Her mouth was drawn into a grimace, as she snarled angrily at the Knight. "Who do you think you are? You're not my Master. You can't order me around!"

Without realizing it, Tachi had crossed an unsaid boundary. Under no circumstances was one to speak against a higher-ranked Jedi leading a mission. It was unbecoming and unheard of. To do it in public, without thinking about the consequences and the bad image such an attitude would evoke.

Slowly the Force shifted around, concentrating, as Tah'lara released all her unwanted feelings into the endless and calm abyss that was the Force.

"I'm the leader of this mission. I am responsible and as that I can." Sucking in a deep breath to calm her emotions, Tah'lara forced herself to release her anger, hurt and disappointment into the Force. And though she tried with all her might, her voice remained strained. "Please leave the room and go to your quarters. As long as you are in this state you only hinder the success of our mission. You can come back once you have calmed down enough."

For a mere second, the young woman's eyes widened considerably, before a deadly angry look appeared in them. The Force shifted dangerously around her, but to Tah'lara's relief the Padawan was able to control herself. With her lips set into a firm line and her eyes narrowed, Tachi threw up her chin, squared her shoulders, spun around and then stormed out of the room towards her quarters.

An awkward silence ensued as the enraged Padawan had left the room. Suppressing the sigh which dared to leave her throat, Tah'lara closed her eyes and tried to centre herself.

This wasn't how she had imagined this mission to be like.

She had known from the start that it may be difficult for her, seeing as younger generations of Padawans and Knights didn't know her and therefore would be more than a little suspicious of her. Suspicion and caution was something she had expected, was something she could work with. But outright resentment and hate?

Not for the first time and probably not for the last time either, Tah'lara asked herself what in the world she had done wrong to cause this amount of negative feelings in the young Padawan.

A sudden warm hand on her shoulder nearly made her jump out of her skin.

"You have done well, Knight Tah'lara.", Adi Gallia told her, startling the younger woman from her pensive thoughts. The caring look in her eyes didn't remain, though. Adi's indigo eyes became clouded and her lips were set into a firm line as unpleasant thoughts troubled her. With a sigh, Adi shook her head only to look apologetically at Tah'lara. "I have to apologize for my Padawan. I don't know what has gotten into her."

'Me neither', Tah'lara thought grimly. She would have to speak with her former Master about this matter. Perhaps Tahl knew what Tah'lara had done to cause Tachi to dislike her so strongly.

No way could things remain like this. Not only was Tachi's behaviour unfitting and irking Tah'lara a lot, it was dangerous, too. How were they to work together when Tah'lara couldn't trust her to keep her from harm?

She would have to speak with Tahl. Thank the Force the mission would soon be over.


End file.
